15 Powerful Ways to Build Trust in Your Relationship (Fast)

Key Takeaways:

• Trust is essential for emotional security
• Rebuilding trust requires consistency and time
• Open communication is a must
• Trust deepens when vulnerability is shared
• Healthy boundaries strengthen relationship trust

What is trust in a relationship?

Trust in a relationship isn't just about believing someone won't betray you—it's about creating a foundation where both partners feel safe, supported, and emotionally secure. Trust builds intimacy. When you trust your partner, you know you can show up as your true self, flaws and all, without the fear of judgment or rejection.

According to researcher Brené Brown, “Trust is a product of vulnerability that grows over time and requires work, attention, and full engagement.” Trust isn't built overnight; it's something we cultivate through experiences, transparency, and showing up consistently for one another.

Think of it like a bank account. Every honest conversation, every moment of understanding, adds deposits to this account. And just like a financial account, if withdrawals are too frequent—whether through lies, broken promises, or betrayals—your relationship can be left bankrupt.

Why is trust important in a relationship?

Trust forms the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without trust, love feels fragile and communication often breaks down. But with trust, we feel secure. We're not consumed by anxiety over what the other person might be doing or thinking. Instead, we can focus on building a deeper emotional connection.

Psychologist Erik Erikson identified trust as one of the fundamental building blocks in human development, starting from infancy. This sense of trust—or mistrust—shapes how we view the world and the people closest to us. When trust is present in a relationship, we feel safe enough to open up, to be ourselves, and to support each other through thick and thin.

We've all heard the phrase “relationships are built on trust,” and it's true. Trust allows couples to be vulnerable, to share their insecurities and fears, and to rely on each other in moments of doubt. Without trust, relationships quickly dissolve into insecurity, jealousy, and fear, preventing the deep emotional intimacy that both partners truly crave.

How long does it take to establish trust in a relationship?

Trust doesn't happen overnight. It's a gradual process, one that unfolds over time as both partners demonstrate consistency, honesty, and vulnerability. For some couples, trust can start to solidify within a few months. But for others, it may take much longer—especially if either partner has past trauma or betrayal that makes it difficult to trust again.

It's important to remember that trust is more of a journey than a destination. A partner might show up for you in small ways that begin to build a sense of safety. Whether it's being reliable in keeping promises, or simply listening without judgment when you need to share, these actions lay the groundwork for deeper trust.

According to clinical psychologist Dr. John Gottman, it can take an average of six months to start developing a foundation of trust in a relationship. However, how you build trust also depends on the specific dynamics between you and your partner, as well as how much emotional risk each of you is willing to take. Each brick of trust is placed through shared vulnerability and openness. It's slow, but every step counts.

How does a lack of trust affect a relationship?

A lack of trust in a relationship can be devastating. Without trust, everything begins to unravel. Conversations may become filled with doubt, suspicion, and defensiveness. It becomes difficult to open up, to be honest, or to feel connected with your partner. Instead of relying on each other, couples might find themselves in a pattern of anxiety and insecurity.

This kind of distrust often leads to jealousy, possessiveness, or control issues. When one partner doesn't trust the other, they might start checking their partner's phone, questioning their whereabouts, or reading into innocent conversations as threats to the relationship. These behaviors only create more distance, causing both people to feel isolated and misunderstood.

As relationship expert Esther Perel explains, “When trust is eroded, it becomes hard to find peace in the relationship because you're constantly on guard, always waiting for the next shoe to drop.” Trust provides the safety net that allows for emotional intimacy. Without it, fear and suspicion take over, which can destroy even the strongest love over time.

8 signs of strong trust in a relationship

When trust is strong in a relationship, it creates a sense of ease and security for both partners. Here are eight signs that trust is thriving:

1. Not afraid to be yourself: When you trust your partner, you can be authentic without fear of being judged.
2. Can share past pain: Sharing past mistakes, regrets, and painful experiences becomes a way to deepen the bond.
3. No need to check their phone/social media: You don't feel compelled to monitor your partner's online activity or communications.
4. Don't feel controlled or manipulated: You feel free to make your own choices without being questioned or undermined.
5. Your friendships remain intact: Trust means your partner encourages healthy friendships, rather than trying to isolate you.
6. Sharing responsibilities: You can rely on each other to share both emotional and practical responsibilities without hesitation.
7. Asking for help is easy: You feel safe enough to ask for help when you're struggling, knowing your partner will respond with care.
8. Admitting unhappiness: When something feels off, you can be honest about it without fearing backlash or rejection.

How do you fix trust issues in a relationship?

Trust can be fragile, but it's not impossible to repair. If trust has been broken in your relationship, there are several steps you can take to rebuild it.

Open and honest communication: Start by talking openly about what happened. Acknowledge the hurt, and allow space for both partners to express how they feel. Avoid placing blame. Instead, focus on listening to each other and understanding the deeper emotions at play.

Rebuild slowly with consistency: Actions speak louder than words. To repair trust, you have to show up consistently over time. This means being reliable, transparent, and demonstrating through actions that you are committed to rebuilding the relationship. Trust can't be rushed—it takes time.

Practice patience and forgiveness: Rebuilding trust is a slow process, and it requires patience from both partners. For the person who was hurt, it's important to allow yourself time to heal and forgive. For the one who broke trust, understand that forgiveness doesn't happen overnight. Consistently showing you're trustworthy is key to regaining it.

As relationship therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner says, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” The journey back to trust requires vulnerability, emotional honesty, and above all, a commitment to growing together.

15 ways to help build trust in your relationship

Building trust is an ongoing process that requires effort from both partners. While trust may feel elusive at times, these 15 actionable steps can strengthen the bond between you and your partner:

1. Communicate effectively: Trust begins with open and honest communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns regularly to foster deeper understanding.
2. Don't keep secrets: Transparency is essential for trust. Whether it's something small or significant, keeping secrets creates distance and fuels doubt.
3. Learn to say no: Saying no doesn't mean you don't care. It's about setting boundaries and being clear about what you're comfortable with. Healthy boundaries strengthen trust.
4. Set boundaries: Boundaries define what is acceptable and what isn't in your relationship. Clear boundaries protect both partners' emotional space and build mutual respect.
5. Keep your promises: Consistently following through on your commitments shows that you are reliable. Broken promises erode trust over time.
6. No cheating: Infidelity is one of the fastest ways to destroy trust. Loyalty and faithfulness are foundational to any trusting relationship.
7. Take responsibility for your actions: When you make a mistake, own it. Acknowledging your errors shows maturity and a willingness to grow, which deepens trust.
8. Be present and engaged: Show up for your partner not just physically, but emotionally. Being attentive and responsive to your partner's needs fosters a sense of security.
9. Respond to your partner's needs: Whether it's offering support during a tough time or simply listening, being there when your partner needs you most strengthens trust.
10. Be honest: Even when it's uncomfortable, honesty is essential. Trust is built on knowing that your partner will tell you the truth, even when it's hard to hear.
11. Give the benefit of the doubt: When issues arise, assume positive intent. Jumping to negative conclusions can damage trust unnecessarily. Give your partner the chance to explain.
12. Address the issues: Don't sweep problems under the rug. Address conflicts head-on and work through them together. Avoiding problems only weakens trust in the long run.
13. Don't take love for granted: Trust can be built through small daily acts of appreciation. Don't let routine blind you to the love and effort your partner gives.
14. Celebrate vulnerability: Allowing yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with your partner builds intimacy and trust. Share your fears, dreams, and insecurities without fear of judgment.
15. Take risks together: Whether it's trying new experiences or making life changes, facing risks together creates a sense of teamwork and shared trust. When you take chances as a team, trust naturally grows.

Communicate effectively

Effective communication is the cornerstone of trust in any relationship. It's not just about talking; it's about truly listening to one another, understanding each other's perspectives, and responding with empathy. When you communicate well, you create a safe space for both partners to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly.

One of the most important aspects of communication is clarity. Misunderstandings often arise when we assume our partner knows what we're thinking or feeling. Don't be afraid to express yourself clearly and directly. For instance, if something is bothering you, don't hint or hope they'll figure it out—say it.

In “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman, he emphasizes that effective communication requires learning your partner's unique way of understanding love and support. “We must be willing to learn our partner's primary love language if we are to be effective communicators,” he writes. This means taking time to understand how your partner expresses and receives love, so you can meet each other's needs better.

Effective communication also means being present during conversations. Put away distractions, make eye contact, and show that you are engaged. When you actively listen, you send the message that your partner's words and feelings matter to you.

Don't keep secrets

Keeping secrets, no matter how small, can gradually chip away at the trust in your relationship. Even if you think you're protecting your partner from unnecessary worry or hurt, withholding information often leads to bigger problems down the line.

Transparency is key. If you're hiding something, it creates distance and prevents genuine connection. Your partner might sense that something is off, leading to feelings of doubt and insecurity. When trust is strong, there's no need to keep secrets because you know your partner will support you, no matter what.

Psychologist Dr. Shirley Glass, author of “Not Just Friends,” notes that “secrecy breeds suspicion,” and even seemingly innocent secrets can create emotional barriers. Being open and transparent with your partner shows that you value their trust and are committed to maintaining honesty in the relationship.

In a trusting relationship, difficult conversations about mistakes or past experiences are necessary. Instead of avoiding those talks, embrace the discomfort. Honesty and openness will always build a stronger, more resilient bond between you.

Learn to say no

Saying “no” can feel uncomfortable, especially when you care about your partner's happiness. However, learning to say no is an essential part of building trust and maintaining a healthy relationship. It's not about rejecting your partner's needs; it's about being honest with your own limits and boundaries. When you say yes to everything, even when it goes against what you feel, you can end up feeling resentful or taken for granted.

In fact, saying no when necessary shows that you respect both yourself and your partner. It demonstrates that you trust the relationship enough to be honest, rather than agreeing to things out of fear of conflict. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, authors of “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life,” emphasize that “a well-formed 'no' is a safeguard for our values and integrity.” Saying no helps preserve emotional energy and keeps resentment from building up.

When you respectfully say no, you give your partner the opportunity to understand your needs better. It may feel like a small act, but this honesty helps strengthen the foundation of trust over time.

Set boundaries

Boundaries are not barriers; they are the invisible lines that define how you want to be treated and what is acceptable in your relationship. Setting boundaries is one of the most important ways to build trust because it shows that you are clear about your values and are willing to protect them. Boundaries ensure both partners feel safe and respected in the relationship, which deepens the emotional connection.

Boundaries can take many forms. For some, it may mean setting limits on how much time you spend with other people outside the relationship. For others, it could involve establishing boundaries around privacy, such as not reading each other's texts or emails without permission. Every relationship is different, and it's important to communicate openly about what boundaries feel right for both of you.

As Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability and relationships, explains, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Setting clear boundaries is an act of kindness to yourself and your partner, as it prevents misunderstandings and builds a stronger foundation of trust.

Remember, boundaries are not meant to control your partner; they are tools for self-care. By setting and respecting each other's boundaries, you create a relationship where both partners feel safe to be themselves.

Keep your promises

Promises are not just words—they are commitments. Keeping your promises is one of the most concrete ways to build and maintain trust in a relationship. Whether it's a small promise to call at a certain time or a larger commitment like being there during tough moments, following through shows that your partner can rely on you. When you consistently keep your word, you send the message that your partner is a priority, and they can trust what you say.

Breaking promises, no matter how small, creates doubt and chips away at the trust you've built. Even if the broken promise seems insignificant, over time, these small breaches can turn into larger cracks in the relationship. Renowned therapist Esther Perel writes in her book “The State of Affairs” that “broken promises shatter the fragile ecosystem of trust,” reminding us that trust is delicate and needs to be nurtured through actions.

If, for any reason, you can't keep a promise, communicate it clearly and explain why. This honesty, paired with a genuine effort to make amends, can help preserve trust and keep the relationship strong.

A journey worth taking

Building trust isn't a one-time task; it's an ongoing journey. Relationships evolve, and so does the trust within them. There will be moments of growth, setbacks, and everything in between, but the effort you put into cultivating trust is always worth it. When trust is strong, it enhances emotional intimacy, deepens the connection, and creates a safe space where both partners can flourish as individuals and as a couple.

Trust allows you to feel secure, to love without reservation, and to be vulnerable with your partner in ways that foster a lasting bond. It's an investment in the relationship that pays off in peace, support, and emotional closeness. As the saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Every small act of trust is a step toward a relationship built on love, respect, and mutual understanding.

The journey to build and maintain trust may feel challenging at times, but when two people commit to growing together, it becomes a foundation that strengthens and sustains the relationship. With every effort you make to build trust, you're building a future where love and security thrive.

Recommended Resources

• “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman
• “Not Just Friends” by Dr. Shirley Glass
• “The State of Affairs” by Esther Perel
• “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
• “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown