Passion isn't Lost, it's Waiting to be Found

It’s not uncommon for relationships to lose the fire and desire as time goes on. Sometimes, things can drag and seem to go nowhere, like a trundling tank on treads making its slow way over a dead landscape, or an old train chugging down a track with no destination in sight. Such feelings of monotony and mundanity can cause couples to wonder why their relationship isn’t like it was when it was brand new – vibrant, fiery, and exciting – why there’s still a sense of stagnancy, even between two people that love each other.

However, what it all boils down to is simply this: passion isn’t something that comes out of thin air and fills your relationship, nor is it something that is present automatically – it has to be sparkled and nurtured, just like any other emotion. The feeling you experienced in the early stages of your relationship wasn’t something that simply appeared, then dissolved. It was something that the two of you created together, and now that that passion has been lost, together is exactly how you must attempt to locate it once again.

First and foremost, it’s important to reflect and come to terms with the fact that relationships are bound to grow. When two people learn about one another and fall in love, it’s natural for them to become comfortable, as deep conversations and spontaneous dates give way to watching movies from the comfort of a designated spot on the couch, or finishing projects and chores together. This idea of relationship complacency forms the basis for the sluggishness and eventual passion-loss that often occur, but it’s essential to note that the key to having a healthy, passionate relationship lies in recognizing and respecting these changes, then finding ways to spruce them up and rekindle romance.

The good news is that it’s not at all difficult to bring back passion into a relationship, and the same concepts of communication, excitement, and investment that made it so strong in the beginning are the same ones you can use to create the same enthusiasm again. Whether it’s through date nights, sexy conversations, midnight strolls, working out together to get physical and energized, or simply talking about the future and ways to spice up the present, there are many different routes one can take to ensure both parties are feeling loved and excited about their romance.

At the same time, it’s essential to also recognize and understand our own individual limitations and viewpoints, which can often damage the relationship if overlooked or ignored. In any twosome, differences are always bound to arise, as is a certain amount of anger, disappointment, and confusion when things don’t go as expected. Resolving these issues requires active, open communication that allows both partners to speak and listen without being judged or misunderstood. Don’t hesitate to (mawkishly) express your hopes, fears, and doubts with your partner, or to ask for help if things start to feel distant and awkward.

Passion doesn’t have to vanish just because it’s been missing for a while – if anything, the delay only makes the reunion that much sweeter, as you’ve had all the required time to think, connect, and plan out a thrilling journey ahead. As long as both partners remain committed and honest, the sun will continue to shine brightly on the slow, boring tread of the tank, or the tedious, arduous chug of the train. Both arrive in unexpected places and make true and lasting connections – they need only remember the words of Pablo Neruda:

“For nothing makes a man so adventurous as an empty pocket.”

If you want to renew the spark in your relationship and bring passion back into the picture, the most important thing is to be brave and willing to explore and rekindle; when energy and imagination are put to work, a world of possibilities presents itself. No matter how far apart you may feel right now, it's never too late to take a chance. So push forward, dare to be adventurous, and never forget: passion isn’t lost, it’s just waiting to be found.