The pain of the end of a first love is hard to forget. The void that they once filled in contrast to their absence can create a cavernous hole in the heart; you alone must come to terms with, allowing yourself to accept the fact that your relationship has ended.
The process of grieving a broken heart can be explored through many lanes. Physically, you may feel sapped of energy and disconnected from who you were prior to the experience. Emotionally, you may find yourself understanding the depths of your sorrow for the first time, overwhelmed by such a complex mix of sadness, anger, betrayal and loneliness. Or spiritually, you may find yourself attempting to make sense of the situation and grow through it, while also feeling purposeless and uncertain where to go next.
Though all these feelings are natural, they can prevent us from moving on. To alleviate this, it is important at the first stages of a healing journey to go easy on oneself. Instead of attempting to fully understand the situation, focus on the immediate needs such as resting and adapting a healthy lifestyle, both body and mind. Take the time to learn how to best care for yourself when feeling low, turning to creative outlets like writing or music to free your feelings, or finding support in friends and family and talking openly about your loss.
As the days move on, gradually try to look into why this experience might have happened in the first place, reminding yourself of all the lessons you learned from it and the new paths it might open up if you let it. It is important to honour the emotions pulsing through your veins, and not shut them away for later. Knowing there is no set timeline for processing our grief, we can be kind with ourselves and take all the necessary time required to examine our thoughts and immerse into our feelings.
With healing comes progress, and progress leads to growth. Facing your own loneliness often allows for understanding and full acknowledgement of your vulnerability, and in accepting the fact that emotions which derive from love – both good and bad – will be felt and experienced differently. Rather than tearing yourself down for past mistakes, practice self-compassion, be mindful of your shortcomings and embrace them to gain more insight into your inner character. Investing in self-care while understanding it is not something that happens overnight, will help in learning how to stay young at heart, open and resilient.
Nourishing yourself in healthier habits and slowly setting aside boundaries between how you allow others to treat you, will slowly transform you into a more secure version of yourself. By setting standards that protect your boundaries, you give yourself the opportunity to see your body, heart and mind as yours and yours alone, and begin to build a relationship with yourself that honours who you really are.
What matters most is respecting yourself, understanding the importance of self-love, and being conscious of the impact external factors have on us. Looking forward, view the present trends in your behaviour while taking a step back to reflect on the growth you’re experiencing during this transition. Yes, it is possible to live with a broken heart. But by learning to accept, heal and grow in spite of our deep wounds, we have a chance at improving the foundations of happiness for our future.
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