At some point in our lives, we've all heard of the same story—boy meets girl, they fall in love, then something happens. Maybe he promised her the world and then disappeared, or he was suddenly distant, or mysteries surrounded his life. The boy may not be delivering on his promises and the girl realizes something isn't right, then finally, after internal investigations or suspicions that can't seem to be quelled, she confronts him and finds out that he has been lying and cheating on her all this time.
This scenario does not have to be a 100% true story; it could just as easily be a novel that one reads and is filled with admiration for the characters. And yet, however distant such matters may be from our reality, their potential for occurring is still ever-present and this situation descends upon some unfortunately more often than others.
Where do you go from here? What can one do when finding oneself in such dire circumstances? When the very foundations of trust have been so artfully broken off and any shred of certainty seems utterly gone?
When responding to someone's questions regarding such a situation, many would incorrectly advise to immediately break off contact and forget about that person as soon as possible. This is a very dangerous fallacy, because in truth, relationships, even if unhealthy or flawed, should never be taken lightly. One should never rashly throw away what took two people years to build or think that the problem will solve itself on its own. Should such a decision be made, it may seem temporary, but the aftermath always has further consequences than expected. Moving on too soon can bring long-term stressful situations that will vanish but won't really go away.
Moreover, there are practical concerns that should also be addressed. If you're living together in a shared house, for instance, it may be necessary for one of the parties to vacate the premises quickly, whereas if one had children, then much more restrain and care will be needed, since in the end the adults must be able to co-parent the kids properly and prevent misunderstandings from spinning too far out of control—whether a couple stays together or not.
So, ultimately, closure can be achieved in a way that best suits the situation without necessarily taking extreme measures or risking one's moral integrity. There is no definition of how a perfect ending to an affair should look like, and although it might be hard to determine what to do in the long run, breaking away gradually and thoughtfully while being mindful of all details is surely a good starting point.
Moreover, help can be sought from the professionals, such as psychologists and counselors. Depending on the issues the couple may carry, the therapist can offer specific solutions that can help the transition or handle heartbreak or disappointment with greater resilience. Many times, entrusting such matters to someone who is neither emotionally involved nor part of the family circle proves beneficial as a smoother road to healing and coming out of the darkness.
At the very least, remember: your emotions and reactions should not be a cause for shame. Even if it is all too familiar, there is always a solution that can help you reach safe ground again and feel stronger and more secure.
Stay strong, and always keep searching for it.
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