How to Take the Leap and Initiate a Relationship When You're Anxious

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a secret recipe for true love? If a few careful measurements of affection and communication followed by a sprinkle of trust and topped off with kindness made for eternal happiness? Unfortunately, that kind of recipe is far more fantasy than reality. Love is complicated and rarely do we get things right on the first try.

With that in mind, let's address the situation. You like someone and you want to squeeze the last bit of courage out of your mind so that you can make the first move. Before we look into handling your anxiety and nerves, let’s take a look at why you feel scared in the first place.

Feelings of insecurity often leave us feeling uncertain or scared in a relationship. The unknowns associated with this new relationship overwhelm us. You might be worried they won’t feel the same way, or you might question the future of this relationship. It can be scary to bare your soul to someone, even when those feelings are reciprocated.

But if you feel like you just can't express yourself, then this vulnerability can feel even harder to achieve. We sometimes fear being judged or rejected and being vulnerable makes us feel emotionally exposed. All these worries can cause huge amounts of inner turmoil, much of which are unfounded because of our previous experiences and expectations.

But how do you overcome these obstacles? It’s important to recognize your feelings and be conscious that they arise from something external. Ask yourself, what exactly is making me feel this way? It could be insecurity, self-doubt, or even previous bad experiences. Acknowledge them and accept them before moving forward.

Once you have identified the reason for your nerves, you will have a much clearer picture of what inner work you need to do. It’s possible that talking to someone who understands the kind of experience you have gone through can help regain perspective and create healthy boundaries.

As you take steps to tackle the issue head-on, it’s essential to understand that your own expectations are an important factor too. Perceiving love as a universal guarantee for happiness is only going to lead to disappointment if other elements aren’t also present. Being able to communicate without fear, relying on each other and continuing long-term development — all this makes up the basis of a healthy relationship.

No one is naturally inclined to embark on a something difficult and new, especially when emotions play a significant part. One strategy to improve your emotional wellbeing and take that leap is to focus on building self-esteem. Make sure you approach this relationship with realistic expectations, as well as with an understanding that what works for another couple may not work for you.

Of course, communication is key — it is absolutely fundamental. Not only how and when you communicate but also what you communicate to the person you like. Use conversational nonverbals such as listening, making eye contact and expressing empathy. Speak from a space of understanding and compassion, and be honest about your intentions. If the other person is feeling the same way, then chances are your honesty will be appreciated.

If and when you find the courage to take a step forward, remember that rejection isn’t all-encompassing. Rejection is part of life and it is all about taking the risk and putting yourself out there. Rejection from someone else does not reinvent you as a shameful, unwanted person. Human beings are made to make mistakes, it’s a given. While it stings, keep in mind that you are enough the way you are, and that everyone is worthy of love and respect. And if it doesn't work out, it will make way for something better.

The beautiful thing about taking risks in the name of love is that post-risk, no matter what the result, you don’t stay scared. You come out stronger, braver, wiser, with a newfound sense of self-confidence that knows no bounds. So take that leap, even if it means going against all of your anxiety-driven thoughts. The rewards of doing so may just surprise you.