It’s one of the toughest feelings to endure: unrequited love. Worse—when it is love seemingly misplaced, like falling for your best friend’s boyfriend. The combination of emotions can lead to a balancing act of energy drained, heartache, and maybe even jealousy. What’s the best way to heal your aching heart and move on?
It’s common to find yourself in the shadows of such a tangled web, attempting to come up with the best course of action. But taking a deep breath and looking forward is the only way to move on. Although it’s easier said than done, with time, the healing process begins before you know it.
First, sit down with yourself and recognize these feelings you have. These emotions may not be easy to face, but you must accept them for what they are. It’s going to be odd coping with the thoughts and emotions, because you may feel a bit of guilt for being in this situation. But let go of any blame or negative feelings towards yourself—guilt won’t help.
Next, know that it takes two people to make a couple. Your best friend’s relationship is between them and their partner, so draw a mental line between them and you. There is no need for you to start questioning what becomes a slippery slope of “what ifs?” Resist any temptation of the thought. Vow that you won’t meddle where it’s not wanted, and if you have a hard time doing this, involve an outside opinion. Sometimes taking a step back and looking at the situation from an outside perspective can provide clarity.
You’re probably also feeling a little hurt and bruised by the experience. Give yourself time to feel. Acknowledging those feelings is important, so take some time each day to weep, or write in a journal if you need to. Crying or talking aloud to yourself can help release the feelings and make you feel better. Sadness is a part of the healing too.
Because of the bond formed from your best friend, there is a good chance you still feel connected even if you’ve removed yourself from their relationship. Let go of your expectations for the relationship. You two were friends based on how things were in the past. In order to move forward, it’s necessary to accept things for what they are now.
Creating space is crucial. Take any and all outlets—forums, your favorite hobby, exercise—anything that will keep your mind occupied and help you cope with this change. Let your heart expand and make new connections with other people and activities. Engaging in relationships or special interests will help fill the gap you feel.
Barring you from feeling almost guilty and hurt may prove to be difficult. Focus your energy on self-care and discovering ways to transport yourself out of the sadness. Whether it’s a spa day or just reading that book your promised yourself, engaging in activities that bring forth joy can shift the tide.
Falling in love with your best friend’s boyfriend can leave you feeling mixed emotions. But if you focus on self-care and creating a positive outlook despite the circumstances, your strategy will pay dividends. Clear days are ahead of you.
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