When two people decide to share a living space, it puts an entirely new spin on their relationship. For some couples, this can be the ultimate step towards a long-lasting bond; for others, it can seem like a perilous journey destined for disaster. But deciding whether or not to live together is never an easy choice.
Every situation differs, and no one can tell you how to decide if moving in together is right for your relationship. What you can do is reflect on the specific components that make up your individual circumstances. Here are a few considerations to ponder upon as you and your cohabitant determine whether to take the plunge.
Are You Building Stability or Taking a Risk?
The first thing to ask yourself is what kind of outcome you want to achieve. If you’re looking for a solid foundation on which to build a future relationship, then moving in together may be the right decision. It gives you the opportunity to assess whether or not you have the potential to be partners for life.
However, if you already feel your relationship is on shaky ground and you’re hoping cohabitation will act as a band-aid, it may be best to avoid it. Remember, living together doesn’t guarantee that a couple can iron out their issues, but it can add strain to an already strained partnership.
The Logistics of Living Together
The financial implications of living together can’t be ignored. The last thing you want to do is add stress to an already stressful situation. But if both of you are in a financial position where you can share the load, at least temporarily, then it could work out. Determine how much money you both have saved and whether you’ll need help from family members or other sources.
That also goes for deciding who will move into whose place, who will pay rent, if you’ll need a roommate, who will be responsible for the bills and utilities, whether you’ll open a joint bank account and any other fiscal matters related to sharing a home.
Relationship Requirements
We all have certain requirements when it comes to relationships, and it’s important that each person’s needs and expectations are expressed openly and discussed thoroughly. Determine what you feel is essential for a good and healthy relationship. What can you not compromise on? These are the needs that both of you must agree on, and it could mean the difference between living together harmoniously or miserably.
Evaluating the Timing
Are you in the right place for this kind of commitment? Are you both mentally and emotionally ready to take the relationship to the next level? Sometimes it can be hard to tell, so try to look beyond the emotions and make a decision based on sound judgment. Cohabiting should be a thoughtful and mindful choice, rather than an impulsive decision.
Giving it Time
Make sure to give your relationship the time needed to understand its strengths and weaknesses before selecting a permanent arrangement. It’s wise to live apart for a while to get some perspective and view the relationship objectively. After all, how many times have you caught the tail-end of a bad journey - of course it didn’t look good then!
Seeing the Signs
If red flags start appearing in the relationship even before cohabitation, then there isn’t much point pushing ahead. Unreasonable demands, conflicts in major areas such as finance and lifestyle, or arguments that cause long-term resentments are all signs that moving in isn’t the best course of action for now.
The Bigger Picture
Deciding whether or not to move in together entails a lot of soul searching. Each situation is different, and it’s only through self-awareness and honest reflection that you can determine if it’s the right decision. Weigh up the pros and cons and take into account the bigger picture. Is cohabitation really the wisest option for you and your partner at this stage?
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