How do I cope with my partner's chronic illness?

Through thick and thin, healthy and sick, we often don’t realize how much happiness we find in having a stable partner until something changes our dynamic. Now that your partner has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, this naturally brings an influx of fear, confusion, stress, and frustration along with it. How can you adjust your relationship to become more supportive of your partner's needs while managing your own?

When it comes to your partner’s chronic illness, communication is key. Being honest with your partner about what’s going through your head and being open to hearing their feelings can create a stronger and more patient bond between you. While it may seem awkward or even uncomfortable, this is essential for your overall relationship moving forward. Your partner requires extra care now, which means both of you will have to search for the equilibrium of your connection and adjust to any new boundaries that are necessary.

Scheduling regular check-ins with your partner can help you both stay on track with current and foreseen physical, emotional, and mental needs. This can include setting up medical appointments and scheduling time for rest, wondering and worrying together, as well as prioritizing quality leisure time away from the medical side of things. With each check-in, you both can be sure you’re understanding what’s important in the moment and accountability around breaking old patterns or obstacles.

Similarly, learning to say “no” to the outside world can be extremely beneficial. Friends and family will likely understand if you can’t make it to every event, especially if you outline how your partner’s health affects your availability. They will also appreciate hearing how your partner is doing and be conscious of ways they can support them too. Finding the time to attend support groups for partners of chronically ill people can also feel comforting, as you can bond with other individuals experiencing similar situations.

Self-care and maintaining healthy coping mechanisms are paramount when it comes to looking after your own wellbeing while caring for a partner who is unwell. After all, taking care of yourself in mind, body, and spirit is just as important! Consider meditating, writing in a gratitude journal, practicing yoga, participating in spiritual rituals, or setting daily intentions to help alleviate stress and further connect with yourself and your ability to manage fluctuating emotions.

Navigating the difficulties that come with balancing a partner’s chronic illness, the need for self-care, and the relationship can be grueling at times but remember you are never alone. Surrounding yourself with people who will understand, listen, and accept you both can help dissolve barriers around managing these everchanging dynamics. Also, seeking out professional resources such as a counselor or support group could prove to be highly beneficial to both of you.

It’s important to remember that your relationship is special and unique to you both, so don’t expect that it will look like other relationships around you. By continually checking in and creating space for unrestrained communication, you two can partner together to create healing opportunities through this difficult experience.