Gaslighting 101: Spot It, Stop It, and Recover (Your Essential Guide at Work)

In an ever-evolving professional world, there's one pernicious phenomenon that's become increasingly prevalent yet alarmingly overlooked: Gaslighting. It's a subtle form of psychological manipulation aimed at making a person question their sanity and perceptions. Gaslighting can occur anywhere, but when it happens in the workplace, it can wreak havoc on one's mental well-being and overall job performance.

This article will provide a comprehensive view of gaslighting in the workplace, presenting you with real-life examples and identifiable signs. We will also equip you with essential strategies to counteract this abusive behavior and restore your self-belief, thereby empowering you to regain control of your professional life.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological technique where one individual manipulates another into doubting their sanity, perceptions, or memories. The term originated from the 1944 film 'Gaslight,' where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she's losing her mind. The tactics used in gaslighting are subtle yet persistent, designed to wear down the victim's self-trust over time.

Gaslighting at Work

In a professional context, gaslighting often manifests itself in power dynamics, where those in authority, peers, or even subordinates employ manipulation tactics to control, belittle, or discredit others. The workplace, with its hierarchies and interpersonal relationships, provides a ripe environment for such manipulation to occur.

Examples of Gaslighting at Work

1. Denial and Discrediting: A colleague or supervisor consistently denies or forgets discussions that have taken place, leading you to question your memory. They might say things like, "We never discussed that" or "You must have misunderstood."

2. False Praise and Criticism: A gaslighter may use insincere compliments followed by harsh criticism to keep you off balance. They could flatter you one day and the next day accuse you of incompetence.

3. Changing Rules or Expectations: The gaslighter frequently changes expectations or guidelines, blaming you for not keeping up. This approach aims to make you feel perpetually wrong or inadequate.

4. Isolation: The gaslighter might try to isolate you from coworkers, making you feel alone and vulnerable. They could spread rumors or make others believe that you're unreliable or untrustworthy.

Signs of Gaslighting at Work

Recognizing gaslighting can be challenging because it is usually a slow, gradual process. However, certain signs can indicate that you're being gaslighted:

1. Constant Self-doubt: You consistently question your memory or perception of events.

2. Feeling Crazy: You often feel confused, crazy, or as though you're overreacting.

3. Fear of Speaking Out: You fear voicing opinions because you're afraid of being ridiculed or dismissed.

4. Decreased Self-esteem: You feel incompetent or inadequate, regardless of your actual performance.

5. Isolation: You feel isolated from your team or other coworkers.

How to Deal with Gaslighting at Work

Confronting gaslighting requires courage, resilience, and a concrete strategy. Here are

Some steps you can take:

1. Recognize the Behavior: The first step is to understand and acknowledge that you're being gaslighted. Trust your instincts and recognize the discrepancy between your perceptions and the gaslighter's version of events.

2. Document Everything: Keep a record of all instances of gaslighting—emails, meeting notes, conversations—anything that can validate your experience.

3. Set Boundaries: Assert your right to be treated with respect. Establish firm boundaries with the gaslighter and communicate these clearly.

4. Seek Support: Reach out to trusted colleagues, HR, or seek professional help. Sharing your experience can provide you with valuable perspectives and strategies.

5. Focus on Self-Care: Regular self-care can help you maintain emotional strength and resilience. Consider therapy or counseling to navigate this challenging situation.

Gaslighting is a detrimental practice that can adversely affect your mental health and job performance. However, by recognizing the signs, standing your ground, and seeking support, you can counteract these damaging effects and reclaim your self-worth. you're not alone, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being, even in the face of such complex workplace dynamics.

Your experience matters, and you have the power to ensure it's a healthy and respectful one. you are not the problem; the gaslighter is. Empower yourself to stand strong, and always trust your perceptions. Don't let gaslighting dim your shine at work or elsewhere.