Do you really know what she wants from you? Is it love and commitment, or is she just having some fun with you? Are you being taken for granted and not valued as you should? It can be difficult at times to determine what her intentions are.
Having a clear understanding of your expectations is fundamental in any type of relationship. In order to build trust and get closer, both parties need to know what the other one is truly looking for. When those needs are confused or not fulfilling one another, then it's likely that the relationship will suffer as a result.
What do you want, and what does she want? Are they compatible desires; do they match up? If your answers to these questions are uncertain, then it's possible that she is not taking your relationship seriously and sees you as no more than “just a flirt”. Being taken for granted isn't the best way to move forward into a partnership.
Flirts can come in different forms. Some people flirt to get attention, because it feels good to be wanted. Some people might also use it to get out of a boring situation, like when someone politely and gently rejects someone else. But most of them are often unaware of the impact their words might have on the other person.
It's important to understand the difference between flirting, playfully stirring and non-serious behavior, and genuine, sincere affection. Pay attention to her behaviors, body language and facial expressions, and if something seems off, don't be afraid to ask her about it directly, rather than guessing and trying to read between the lines.
Open conversation with her about expectations can be a great start. Take a minute to think about what you want in this relationship. Find a safe, low-pressure environment to talk openly and exchange thoughts on your feelings. Be sure to explain clearly what your thoughts and ideas are, while being respectful and allowing her the same freedom to express hers.
This is also an opportunity to ask her the same questions so that you both can agree or come to a mutual understanding of what each of you expect from the relationship. Ask her how she feels and how she perceives the level of seriousness in your relationship.
Giving each other space is also essential. Having too much control or letting yourself become dependent on the other person can put strain on the relationship and become detrimental to it. Remember that in order for a relationship to thrive, there has to be a connection that goes beyond surrendering power.
Learn to recognize if what you are aiming for is unreasonable and figure out ways to adjust to each other's needs. People can change over time and you both have to learn how to respect each other's changes, even if you don't personally understand or agree with why they come about. People don't always have to remain the same in order for the relationship to continue.
Knowing when to move on and make space in case the two of you cannot reach a common ground is essential. If her intentions differ from yours, then it may be time to face the harsh truth and accept that you are not compatible in a long-term partnership. Trying to force a connection that is not there will only leave a bitter taste of disagreement and sadness.
Figuring out whether or not someone loves you or if they're just a flirt should involve open communication and a willingness to make some changes in order to come to a conclusion that everyone can live with. Bottom line – make sure that both you and the person you are talking to are on the same page and that you both share the same goals and future plans.
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