Dealing with Stubborn People – Applying Perspective and Understanding

When faced with a stubborn person, it can be hard to know how to respond. Irrespective of your relationship to the person, be they a colleague, family member or partner, the ability to figure out how to deal with them takes skill, tact and patience. Before knowing how to deal with such an individual we must first look at what drives their behavior as this will pave the way for faster resolution.

The underlying source of many stubborn attitudes stem from deep-rooted chronic issues that are often accompanied by feelings of insecurity and vulnerability. Consequently, the easily offended and defensive demeanor they may present can be attributed to a need to protect themselves from hurt and perceived failure. Because of this, the stubborn person is more likely to act in opposition or disagreement, making any discussion you have almost impossible. This is because rather than weigh up options and take responsibility for their own opinion, they are likely to blindly follow doctrine that has been pushed upon them.

The best approach for dealing with a stubborn individual is to remove yourself from a polarizing conversation. You must remember that in these situations objectivity and decision making based on facts and not emotion should be your utmost priority. Pushing through or trying to out-argue someone is not only a waste of time but could lead to further tension and broken relationships.

Having identified the core issue, you'll want to apply soft persuasion when having conversations with stubborn people as it avoids embarrassing them into submission. A great way approach this is by asking questions. Inviting them to explain their beliefs and points of view can actually yield positive results that provide insights on how they think, something which gives insight into how best to approach them in the future. Through the process of dialogue, you can attempt to chip away at irrationality and black-and-white thinking and find common ground.

It's wise to become aware that regardless of your intentions, forcing someone into change can backfire due to a person's inherent negativity bias; an evolutionary defense mechanism that focuses on potential danger where it does not exist. For example, a rejection and disapproval in favor of self-preservation in-turn restricts thinking patterns causing emotional responses like aggression without listening or engaging in meaningful dialogue. Remembering these misguided self-preservation techniques may help you adjust expectations to gain better rapport with them.

Change itself can also bring upon fear due to it being seen as a possible unknown territory on which a precarious sense of insecurity may form. Whilst this may pose challenges for both parties involved, it's key for the stubborn individual to recognize that embracing change can sometimes lead to positive experiences. However, in order for this kind of progress to be reached it's important to give them autonomy as well as build trust so that they are more likely to accept your opinion and enhance their willingness to listen.

With all this in mind, finally strive for collaborative decisions as individuals who are notoriously stubborn are far more likely respond positively if they feel included and valued. Equally important is communication; avoid attacking with words in an effort encourage regular feedback so that there is clarity on both sides and misunderstandings don't occur due subtle nuances being misinterpreted.

Ultimately strong relationships are centered on speaking naturally and calmly but this can be particularly challenging if dealing with someone who is determined and opinionated about every little detail. Patience is key as setting rules will create unnecessary boundaries and keep them from expressing opinions openly without fear or judgement. Learning that getting things done doesn't necessarily have to come from winning arguments can often bridge divides where collaboration gains an appeal over competition. Seeing life from another perspective is difficult for all people at some point so finding common ground is the pathway toward the resolving issues. With the right mindset dealing with stubborn people can eventually result in rewarding results that truly instill compassion and understanding from all those involved.