Love has been around since the beginning of forever, and it's only recently that technology has allowed us to get so close. It's no secret that many of us use dating apps or websites to find love, but there's a relatively new dating phenomenon that's becoming more popular - it's called cushioning.
Cushioning is the act of maintaining several romantic partners at the same time in order to avoid being hurt. It's not like polyamory, swinging, or even open relationships. Those are genuinely about having multiple relationships with consent from all the partners. Cushioning is more about having a sense of security should your current relationship fail. People who practice cushioning may maintain multiple partners and keep them as a kind of backup — just in case things don't go as planned.
At first glance, cushioning might seem like a good idea. After all, when you’re involved in a relationship, it can be easy to let fear of abandonment dictate your behavior — and that can ultimately cause harm in the relationship. But just because cushioning appears to offer some soft landings, that doesn't mean it's a good way of handling relationships.
For starters, cushioning might be viewed as dishonorable and untrustworthy. If you're engaged in a healthy relationship, having several people on the backburner isn't going to be honest nor respectful. Not to mention, if your partner were to find out that you were cushioning, it would likely result in the end of things.
Cushioning also doesn't give you a chance to really work through any negative outcomes of a relationship. You're protecting yourself by keeping those people in your life, but at the same time, you're not giving yourself an opportunity to put in the effort to make things work in your current relationship. If you have doubts and hesitations outweighing your excitement, staying in a relationship while investigating other possibilities isn't the answer.
That's when it's time to talk and be real with yourself and your partner to see what could possibly make the partnership better before calling it quits. You don't have to stay in a relationship if it's no longer serving you, but you should always work towards taking responsibility for what happens next and for your emotions.
Cushioning won't help protect you from the pain which comes with breakups, it’ll likely help perpetuate it. Instead of relying on cushioning as a defense mechanism, be honest with yourself and open to your present relationship without straying away from the idea of commitment. To ensure a successful and emotionally fulfilling relationship, honesty is key. Set expectations with your partner and communicate with kindness — that's what really matters.
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