It’s an all too common situation – you’ve fallen deeply in love, but something stands in the way of being together. Maybe the timing isn’t right, or circumstances have prevented you from your time together. Whatever the cause, this loss can be devastating, leaving you feeling a wrenching sense of sadness and longing.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with such a difficult situation, as everyone experiences heartache differently and in their own unique ways. Yet there are some practical steps that might help you cope and to begin building a healthier way forward.
The most important thing is to take time for yourself, to give yourself a break from constantly trying to wrestle with your conflicted feelings, and instead to allow some space for self-care and kindness. Carve out moments throughout each day to spend on activities that make you feel like you’re taking care of yourself. Whether it be taking a leisurely stroll, cuddling with your pet, listening to calming music, practicing mindfulness/meditation, finding solace in nature, or getting lost in a good book, any action which helps you to become more in tune with your feelings and needs is invaluable for healing.
Where possible, try to gain clarity on your present situation. When life throws us curve balls, we’re often left in a state of confusion, making it difficult to think rationally and make sense of what is happening around us. Taking some time to journal and writing down how you’re feeling can help tease out any illusions and provide clarity if you’re struggling to process your emotions. Moreover, having available all the facts can help you reach a positive, informed decisions when thinking about next steps.
Remember, we are all interconnected and not alone in this experience. Open up to friends and family and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and to receive comfort and advice is ok. Though they might not understand the intricacies of how you’re feeling, they can still offer practical advice, empathy and support. Sometimes just talking one’s feelings through can be greatly therapeutic and freeing.
Although it may not feel so now, letting go is sometimes the healthiest course of action. You don’t have to give up hope for something better or for starting anew, but letting go of treasured dreams, hopes and routines can free us from recreating situations of past disappointment – sometimes hindsight can be very powerful in itself. Release yourself from expectations, fears and judgments, and work on embracing the unknown possibilities ahead.
Above all, be kind to yourself. Remember that everyone responds differently to life’s challenges and that the best thing we can do is pay attention to our own emotional journey. Try not to judge yourself or the other person in the situation too harshly, and focus on using this challenging situation as an opportunity to grow, to learn and to embrace a new future.
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