7 Golden Rules to 'Should I Call Him?'

Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone, fingers hovering over the dial button, thinking, "Should I call him?" If so, you're far from alone. Many of us have been in this perplexing situation, trying to decode the unwritten rules of dating and relationships.

As a seasoned relationship expert, I've counseled numerous clients through these puzzling moments. One such instance that comes to mind was when I worked with a woman named Lisa. She had met someone she liked, and they had a great first date. But afterwards, she was unsure whether to reach out or wait for him to make the next move. The memory of her dilemmas and the wisdom we garnered together from the experience, in essence, form the backbone of this exploration.

In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the seven golden rules you can consider when deciding if you should make that call or not. We'll unravel the complex intricacies of communication within relationships, helping you understand when and why it's the right time to pick up that phone.

Rule 1: Trust Your Gut

Perhaps the most important rule in the vast realm of relationships and dating is to trust your instincts. Your gut feelings are there for a reason, and often they have a deeper insight into situations than your rational mind.

If you feel strongly about making that call, chances are there's a reason behind it. Don't let societal norms or fears of coming off as too eager stop you. Relationships should be about open communication and mutual respect, and if a phone call can foster that, then it's worth making.

Rule 2: Assess His Communication Style

Everyone has their own communication style and preferences. Some people prefer phone calls, while others find text messages more comfortable. If you know that he is more of a text person, calling him out of the blue might come off as too forward or intrusive. However, if he enjoys traditional phone conversations, your call could be a pleasant surprise.

Remember, the goal is to foster connection and understanding, and that involves respecting the other person's communication style. Assessing his style will not only guide you on the best approach but also set the foundation for effective communication in your relationship.

Rule 3: Consider Timing

The timing of your call can significantly influence the outcome. While spontaneity can be exhilarating, calling him at an inappropriate time (like during his working hours or late at night) may not be well-received. Also, consider how long it's been since your last interaction. If it's been only a few hours, waiting a bit longer may be prudent, unless there's an urgent reason to call.

Rule 4: Know What You Want to Say

Before dialing that number, have a clear idea of what you want to say. This doesn't mean rehearsing a script, but rather having a general direction for the conversation. This way, you can keep the conversation flowing smoothly, and it can help you avoid unnecessary awkwardness.

Keep in mind that every conversation is an opportunity to know each other better. So, whether you're calling to arrange another date, discuss something that's been on your mind, or simply to chat, knowing what you want to say can make the call more meaningful.

Rule 5: Be Prepared for All Outcomes

Making the call is one thing, being prepared for the outcome is another. While it's positive to hope for the best, being ready for various possible reactions is important. He might not answer, he may be busy, or he might be thrilled to hear from you. The key is not to attach too much expectation to his response. Remember, it's just a phone call and not necessarily a measure of his interest or the future of the relationship.

Rule 6: Listen to His Responses

When you do make that call, pay close attention to his responses. Does he seem genuinely interested in the conversation, or is he merely offering polite, non-committal answers? His tone, enthusiasm, and engagement level can give you valuable insight into his feelings and interest.

Rule 7: Be Yourself

but most importantly, be yourself. Whether you decide to call him or not, do it in a way that's true to your personality and feelings. Authenticity is key in all forms of communication, and it's the best way to build a genuine connection.

the decision of 'should I call him?' is unique to every situation and person. The rules outlined here provide a starting point, but remember, there's no one-size-fits-all solution in the realm of relationships. As was the case with Lisa, we eventually figured out that her best move was to listen to her intuition, consider the other person's communication style, and be true to herself. It wasn't a quick or easy solution, but it was a journey towards understanding and growth. And that's what relationships often are - a journey, not a destination.

Relationships are about connection, understanding, and growth. So, whether you decide to make that call or not, do it with confidence, authenticity, and a desire to connect. And remember, the outcome of a single phone call does not define your worth or the potential of a relationship. Happy dialing!

Recommended Books:

1. "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" by Gary Chapman
2. "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
3. "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex" by John Gray