6 Powerful Steps to Unlock Soul Gazing (Try This!)

Key Takeaways:

• Soul gazing deepens emotional intimacy.
• Creates a powerful, non-verbal bond.
• Increases self-awareness and mindfulness.
• Strengthens trust and communication.
• Easy and transformative practice for couples.

What is Soul Gazing?

Soul gazing is a simple yet deeply profound practice where two people look directly into each other's eyes, not just to see but to feel. It's about connecting beyond words, tapping into an unspoken emotional and spiritual language. As you gaze into someone's eyes, you begin to see more than just the person in front of you—you witness their vulnerabilities, strengths, and everything in between. This moment of deep, uninterrupted connection often fosters a sense of closeness that is hard to achieve through conversation alone. It's an exercise in both intimacy and trust.

For many, soul gazing can feel intense because the eyes are often described as “windows to the soul.” When you look deeply into someone's eyes, you aren't just making eye contact—you're stepping into their emotional world. And yes, while this can be a little uncomfortable at first, it's also incredibly revealing and heart-opening.

Why Soul Gazing is Important

We live in a world filled with distractions. Phones buzz, conversations get interrupted, and it's becoming harder to maintain genuine, undivided attention in relationships. Soul gazing offers a break from that, an opportunity to be fully present with your partner. It helps you slow down, allowing you to really see them, and in return, they see you. This mutual recognition and acknowledgment foster a unique emotional bond that can strengthen the relationship in ways typical conversations may not.

Beyond emotional intimacy, soul gazing also helps build trust. In the words of renowned relationship therapist Dr. John Gottman, "Trust is built in the smallest of moments." When you're vulnerable enough to maintain eye contact and just be, without the need for words, you're creating those moments. And those small moments add up to something bigger—an unshakable foundation of trust.

Lastly, this practice brings a heightened sense of self-awareness. As you gaze into someone else's eyes, you often become more conscious of your own emotions and reactions. This awareness not only helps you understand your partner better but also deepens your understanding of yourself.

6 Steps to Soul Gazing

1. Prepare a Quiet Space
Create an environment where you won't be distracted. Turn off any electronics, close the door, and ensure the lighting is soft and soothing. This helps set the tone for the connection you're about to build. It's essential to remove any potential interruptions, so both of you can be fully present. Your space should feel safe, calm, and intimate.

2. Maintain Comfortable Posture
Comfort is key during soul gazing. Sit across from each other, either on chairs or on the floor, but ensure you're both comfortable. It can be helpful to have your knees almost touching, creating a sense of closeness. If your body feels tense or uncomfortable, it will distract you from the experience. Relax your shoulders, settle in, and focus on being at ease.

3. Deep Breathing
Before starting, take a few deep, calming breaths together. This helps sync your energies and grounds you in the present moment. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a second, and then exhale slowly. As your breathing slows, your heart rates will follow, helping you feel more in tune with each other. Deep breathing also helps melt away any anxiety or nervousness you may have before locking eyes.

4. Start the Gaze
Once you feel grounded, gently lift your eyes and begin to gaze into your partner's eyes. This isn't a stare-down or a contest—let your gaze be soft but focused. It's okay if you blink, but try to maintain steady eye contact. It might feel intense at first, but as you continue, you'll start to relax into it.

5. Silent Communication
The beauty of soul gazing is in the silence. There's no need to speak. Instead, allow your emotions to communicate through your eyes. You might feel vulnerable, seen, or even overwhelmed by the intensity of the connection. This silent exchange can create a deeper level of understanding than words ever could. Just be present with each other.

6. Closure
When you both feel ready, gently break the gaze. Don't rush this moment. Take a deep breath together, perhaps share a hug, or talk about what you felt during the experience. This closure helps to ground you back in the present and solidifies the emotional bond that has been strengthened through the practice.

5 Amazing Benefits of Soul Gazing

1. Enhanced Emotional Connection
Soul gazing fosters a deep emotional connection that goes beyond words. By looking into your partner's eyes, you're connecting with their emotions and spirit, creating a bond that feels more intimate than regular communication. It's about being fully seen and accepted in that moment.

2. Improved Communication
When we practice soul gazing, we learn to communicate in ways that are beyond verbal. The silent exchange of feelings and thoughts can help strengthen your relationship by allowing you to “speak” without words. It's a reminder that communication is about much more than just talking.

3. Strengthened Trust
By being vulnerable enough to engage in soul gazing, you're building trust. You're allowing your partner to see you in your rawest form, and in doing so, you demonstrate a deep level of trust. Over time, this trust becomes the foundation of a stronger, more secure relationship.

4. Heightened Self-Awareness
Soul gazing doesn't just reveal insights about your partner; it also helps you learn about yourself. You become more attuned to your own emotions, reactions, and inner world. This self-awareness enhances personal growth, making you a better partner.

5. Cultivation of Presence and Mindfulness
In our busy lives, we often forget to slow down and simply be present with our loved ones. Soul gazing forces us to pause and focus entirely on the other person, cultivating mindfulness and presence. This practice helps create a deeper sense of appreciation and attentiveness in the relationship.

FAQs

How long should I soul gaze with my partner?
There's no hard and fast rule about how long to soul gaze. Typically, starting with 2-5 minutes is a good idea, especially if you or your partner are new to the practice. As you get more comfortable, you can extend the time, but the key is to follow what feels right for both of you. Some couples find that even a few minutes can have a profound effect, while others enjoy the deeper connection that comes from longer sessions.

What if I feel uncomfortable soul-gazing?
It's completely normal to feel uncomfortable at first. Soul gazing is an intimate practice, and it can feel vulnerable to maintain such prolonged eye contact. If you feel uneasy, take a deep breath and allow yourself to relax. Try not to put pressure on yourself to do it perfectly—this is a journey of connection, not performance. It's okay to pause if you need to, and return to the practice when you feel ready. Over time, the discomfort often fades, and the rewards become more apparent.

Can I soul gaze with someone I'm not romantically involved with?
Absolutely! Soul gazing isn't limited to romantic relationships. You can soul gaze with friends, family members, or anyone you feel comfortable with. The practice can help build trust, empathy, and emotional closeness regardless of the relationship type. In non-romantic settings, it's still a powerful way to deepen connections and foster understanding between individuals.

What are some tips for soul gazing?
The best tip for soul gazing is to approach it with an open mind and heart. Let go of any expectations and simply be present with your partner or the person you're practicing with. Remember, it's okay to blink or feel awkward—it's part of the process. Another helpful tip is to practice deep breathing throughout the gaze to stay grounded. Finally, don't overthink the experience; let it unfold naturally and trust that the connection will come with time.

Recommended Resources

• "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman
• "Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel
• "Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson