You and her. The two of you are synonymous. Together, you are a perfectly crafted couple, occupying space in a world where trust, understanding and respect overlap seamlessly.
But now you feel a surge of tears whirling inside your mind, clogging up your thoughts with ‘what ifs’ and ‘why me’s? You’ve done something - a misunderstanding, a personal mistake or even worse, a betrayal - and as a consequence, the well of emotion that used to occupy you is quickly draining away.
It’s human nature to struggle to keep a relationship going in such circumstances – but with a degree of maturity, consideration and focus, there is hope. Here are 5 steps to help save your relationship when you’re about to lose her:
1. Take an inventory of the relationship: Recognise what happened both internally and externally before the issue was recognised. Think through the signals, events and emotions which preceded the current situation and consider how they shaped its appearance. Ask yourself whether this could have been prevented or reduced – and with answers, it may give insight as to how to better approach moments of difficulty in the future.
2. Share honestly: In approaching her, be honest. Speak clearly, with appreciative words and withhold comments which stray from the core topic. Consider what needs to be said, the reasons it needs to be said and draw strength from the confidence which honesty will bring. Keep dialogue focused on the facts and use reflection for understanding and clarity.
3. Show appreciation: Acknowledge all the good aspects of the relationship and remind her of all the times you were both feeling on-top. Acknowledge how far the two of you have already come and how much effort she has put into your time together. Remind yourself why you’re in this situation, why her presence is powerful enough to invoke the feelings which yearn for resolution.
4. Accept that the outcome may be unknown: Respect the fact that the next steps may not be clear. Acknowledge the possibility of unknown consequences and take solace that as long as you keep communicating honestly to each other in a healthy way, whatever happens, you will remain strong.
5. Make necessary adjustments: After communication is complete, evaluate the decision and make necessary adjustments. Focus on the goals ahead, whatever they may be and build on those instead of looking back.
The need for resolutions varies from situation to situation - the solution to these difficult moments may be stark, fragile and occasionally, insurmountable. Despite this, by following these steps and engaging in meaningful dialogue and compromise, you may well be able to save your relationship when you’re about to lose her.
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