15 Unmissable Signs of Lovesickness (And How to Cope!)

Key Takeaways:

• Lovesickness can feel overwhelming.
• Emotional and physical symptoms are real.
• Obsessing can intensify the heartache.
• Healthy coping strategies offer relief.
• Professional support can help healing.

What does lovesickness mean?

Lovesickness is a state of emotional and even physical distress that happens when love—or the lack of it—overwhelms your mind and body. It often hits hardest when you're consumed by longing for someone who isn't around, or worse, someone you can't have. Maybe it's a relationship that ended, or a one-sided crush that keeps pulling you in deeper. Either way, the ache is very real. It's not just about missing them—it feels like you're losing a part of yourself in the process.

And that's what makes lovesickness so tough: it intertwines your emotional world with your physical one. You can't sleep, you feel restless, and sometimes it feels like your brain is caught in a constant loop. Even though it's a very human experience, it can feel isolating—like no one else could possibly understand the depth of what you're going through.

What are the causes of lovesickness?

Lovesickness doesn't come out of nowhere. It's often fueled by intense emotional bonds and desires, but underneath those feelings, several psychological factors play a role. One cause is the brain's reward system. When you're in love, your brain releases dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure. However, when love is unfulfilled or lost, the sudden drop in dopamine can leave you feeling empty, almost like withdrawal. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, "Romantic love is an addiction. And like any addiction, it can be difficult to overcome."

Another cause can be attachment styles, which influence how we form relationships. People with anxious attachment styles may be more prone to lovesickness, as they tend to obsess over their partner or potential partner's every move, seeking constant reassurance. In other cases, unresolved trauma or low self-esteem can magnify the feelings of loss, causing a spiral into deeper emotional pain. Simply put, lovesickness stems from a combination of unmet desires, emotional dependency, and the pain of separation.

15 signs of lovesickness

Being lovesick isn't just a figure of speech. It's a very real condition that can show up in multiple ways, both emotionally and physically. Here are 15 signs to look out for:

1. Mood swings:

One minute, you're on top of the world. The next, you're sinking into despair. Lovesickness can make your emotions feel like they're on a rollercoaster. Small things, like hearing their name or seeing their photo, can send you spiraling.

2. Isolation:

Do you feel like withdrawing from others? Lovesickness often drives us to cut ourselves off, spending more time in solitude, obsessing over the one who's left a void in our hearts.

3. Constant tiredness:

All that emotional turmoil leaves you drained. Even when you've gotten enough sleep, it's hard to shake off the fatigue. Your body feels as exhausted as your mind.

4. Loss of appetite:

Food loses its appeal when your thoughts are consumed by someone who isn't there. It's not uncommon to skip meals or feel nauseous at the thought of eating.

5. Eating too much:

On the flip side, emotional eating can also be a coping mechanism. You find yourself turning to comfort foods, but the temporary relief doesn't last.

6. Easily distracted:

Can't focus on anything? Whether it's work, school, or even a favorite hobby, lovesickness pulls your attention away. Everything reminds you of them.

7. Stalking your love interest:

You may find yourself constantly checking their social media, scrolling through old photos, or even driving by places you think they'll be. It's a slippery slope that deepens your obsession.

8. Treasuring their belongings:

That hoodie they left behind or the last text message they sent—suddenly these things take on enormous significance. You hold onto them as if they're a piece of the person you long for.

9. Overanalyzing:

Why didn't they respond? What did that look mean? You begin dissecting every interaction, searching for hidden meaning, and driving yourself crazy in the process.

10. Poor sleep:

Whether you're staying up late thinking about them or waking up in the middle of the night from dreams that won't let you rest, lovesickness often wrecks your sleep routine.

11. Confusion:

Feel like you can't think straight? That's because lovesickness clouds your judgment. You're constantly second-guessing yourself and feeling unsure about everything.

12. Dizziness:

Emotionally overwhelmed? Your body may react with actual physical symptoms like dizziness or light-headedness, especially when you're feeling anxious or hopeless.

13. Nausea:

That knot in your stomach isn't just from skipping meals. Stress and anxiety from unrequited or lost love can lead to feelings of nausea.

14. Restlessness:

Do you find it hard to sit still? Maybe you're pacing, fidgeting, or just feel like there's an itch under your skin. This agitation is another hallmark of lovesickness.

15. Insecurity:

Lovesickness magnifies your fears and doubts. You start questioning your worth, wondering what you did wrong or why you weren't good enough. This insecurity can become overwhelming.

How to deal with lovesickness

Lovesickness can feel unbearable, but there are ways to take control of your emotions and start healing. Here's how you can begin to cope:

1. Focus on their flaws:

It's easy to idealize someone when you're lovesick, but this only deepens your attachment. Instead, try shifting your focus to their imperfections. Nobody is perfect, and recognizing their flaws helps to break the illusion that they were "the one."

2. Be sociable:

When we're lovesick, we often isolate ourselves, but being around other people can help you feel more grounded. Even if it's just grabbing coffee with a friend, staying connected to others reminds you that there's more to life than the person you're obsessing over.

3. Talk to them:

If it's appropriate, having a conversation with the person you're lovesick over can bring some clarity. Maybe you're holding onto something that isn't there, or perhaps you just need closure. Either way, communication can provide relief.

4. Keep busy:

Staying occupied is key to shifting your focus away from the emotional pain. Whether it's throwing yourself into work, exercising, or picking up a new hobby, distraction is a powerful tool.

5. Delete memories:

This one is tough, but it's important. Delete the photos, block their number, and stop re-reading old messages. Keeping those memories close only prolongs your suffering.

6. Think, don't obsess:

It's natural to think about the person who's left such a mark on you, but there's a difference between reflecting and obsessing. When your thoughts start looping, make an effort to shift gears and focus on something else.

7. Give time:

Healing takes time, and there's no rush. Allow yourself to grieve the loss or the unrequited love without feeling pressured to "get over it" too quickly.

8. Seek therapy:

If lovesickness feels too overwhelming to handle on your own, seeking help from a therapist can be a lifesaver. Therapists can help you untangle the emotional knots and give you strategies to move forward.

Is lovesickness real? (Conclusion)

Yes, lovesickness is very real, and its effects can be profound. The mix of emotional and physical symptoms isn't something to brush off as just being dramatic or “overly sensitive.” It's a legitimate response to intense, unfulfilled feelings of love or loss. Whether it's a broken relationship, unrequited love, or even the anxiety of a new romantic interest, the pain of lovesickness can be overwhelming and all-consuming.

But here's the thing: while the emotions you're experiencing are intense, they're also temporary. With time, support, and healthy coping mechanisms, you can navigate your way through it. You're not alone in this experience—many people have walked through the same emotional storm and come out stronger on the other side. In the words of renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” Healing from lovesickness allows you to move forward into more balanced, fulfilling relationships.

Recommended Resources

• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
• Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher
• Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel