16 Things Husbands Shouldn't Do During Pregnancy [Avoid These!]

Key Takeaways:

• Learn pregnancy basics together
• Avoid insensitive comments
• Be flexible with your schedule
• Prioritize her emotional well-being
• Debunk pregnancy myths

1. Get Educated About Pregnancy

Pregnancy is an entirely new world. As a husband, this is your opportunity to get educated about what your wife is going through. Understanding the changes in her body, the development of the baby, and what she might need throughout these nine months will put you in a better position to be the supportive partner she needs.

So many of us think pregnancy is only about physical changes—morning sickness, cravings, and a growing belly—but it's much more complex. It's important to know the stages of pregnancy, common symptoms, and potential complications. Don't rely solely on hearsay or what you think you know. Dive into reputable books, podcasts, or even pregnancy apps. Read together with your wife. Doing this creates a sense of shared experience and gives her the assurance that you are in this journey with her.

Dr. John Gottman, an expert in relationship psychology, says, “When couples approach challenges with curiosity and shared learning, they build trust.” Educating yourself is one way of showing your wife that her experience is important to you, and that you are willing to put in the work to understand her needs better.

2. Be Sensitive to Her Needs (Physical, Emotional, and Mental)

Pregnancy is hard enough physically, but what about the mental and emotional toll it takes? Your wife's needs will change constantly, and it's crucial for you to be attuned to what she needs in every moment. One day, she might need physical comfort—rubbing her back or giving her space to rest. The next, she could need emotional reassurance, like telling her that she's beautiful, strong, and capable.

Emotional sensitivity goes a long way in making her feel valued. Pregnancy hormones can cause mood swings, anxiety, and overwhelming emotions. If she starts crying unexpectedly or seems irritated over small things, don't brush it off. Instead, respond with understanding and compassion. Avoid phrases like, "Why are you crying again?" or "It's not a big deal." Instead, be open to listening. Ask her, "How can I help you right now?" or "Do you want to talk about how you're feeling?" These small acts of emotional care mean the world to her during such a vulnerable time.

On a mental level, your wife might be feeling overwhelmed with thoughts about the baby's future or doubts about her own abilities to parent. Be a partner in her mental health journey too. Encourage mindfulness practices, light relaxation techniques, or even therapy sessions if needed.

Dr. Sue Johnson, a relationship expert, says, “Emotional responsiveness is key in any loving relationship, and especially in times of stress like pregnancy.” Sensitivity in all aspects shows her that she can rely on you, and it builds an unshakeable foundation of trust.

3. Support Her Through Challenges (Morning Sickness, Mood Swings, Fatigue)

The first trimester often comes with its own set of challenges—morning sickness being one of the most notorious. While it's called "morning" sickness, your wife might experience nausea and vomiting at any time of the day. This is when your support is crucial. Simple gestures like keeping bland snacks by her bedside, offering ginger tea, or even adjusting the meal times can help ease her discomfort.

But it's not just about the physical symptoms. Mood swings and emotional changes will also come into play. The combination of fatigue, hormones, and anxiety about becoming parents can make her feel overwhelmed. This is where your patience and understanding can make all the difference. Instead of getting frustrated or dismissing her feelings, offer her emotional space. Sometimes, just holding her hand or sitting quietly by her side can be enough.

Fatigue is another common symptom, especially as the pregnancy progresses. Her energy levels will fluctuate, and she might need more rest than usual. Help her by taking over household chores or managing the day-to-day tasks she usually handles. It's a team effort, and stepping in during these moments shows her that you're fully invested in her well-being.

4. Be Flexible with Your Schedule

Pregnancy is unpredictable. There will be days when your wife feels energetic and ready to take on the world, and others when she simply wants to rest. This requires a level of flexibility on your part. Whether it's rearranging work schedules to attend prenatal appointments or adjusting plans because she's feeling under the weather, you need to be adaptable.

Being flexible also means recognizing that your routine might need to change, even if it's inconvenient at times. If your wife wakes up feeling nauseous before work, be ready to step in and help with breakfast or even accompany her to a doctor's appointment. If she needs more emotional support, clear time in your calendar for her. These small adjustments create an environment where she feels like her needs are a priority, and she'll appreciate the effort you put into being present.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, often emphasizes the importance of time and service as acts of love. Adjusting your schedule to meet your wife's needs during pregnancy is a true act of service and a powerful way to show her that she and the baby are your top priority.

5. Exercise Myths

One of the most common myths surrounding pregnancy is that exercise should be avoided. Many of us have heard that it's dangerous or risky to engage in physical activities during these months, but that's simply not true for most healthy pregnancies. In fact, regular exercise can be incredibly beneficial for both the mother and the baby.

Light to moderate exercise, like walking, swimming, or prenatal yoga, helps improve circulation, reduce swelling, and maintain a healthy weight. It can also ease common pregnancy discomforts, like back pain, and even boost your wife's mood. The key is to encourage safe, doctor-approved activities that align with her fitness level.

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), "pregnant women who exercise can see improved mental health, reduced risks of gestational diabetes, and better outcomes during labor and delivery." Just ensure your wife avoids high-risk activities like contact sports or exercises that require lying flat on her back after the first trimester. As long as you're keeping it safe, there's no reason to fear exercise.

6. Traveling Myths

Another myth that tends to create unnecessary fear is the idea that traveling during pregnancy is dangerous or harmful. While it's true that there are some precautions to take, traveling is generally safe during most of the pregnancy, especially in the second trimester when women typically feel their best.

If your wife wants to take a trip, there's no reason she shouldn't, as long as she's cleared by her healthcare provider. Staying hydrated, taking regular breaks to stretch and walk around (especially during long flights or car rides), and packing pregnancy-friendly snacks are good practices to follow. Airlines also have guidelines for pregnant women, often limiting travel after 36 weeks, so make sure to plan accordingly.

Traveling can be a wonderful way for both of you to relax and enjoy time together before the baby arrives. So, instead of fearing it, embrace the idea of a "babymoon" or short getaway to recharge. Just make sure the destination is comfortable and has easy access to medical care if needed.

As always, listen to your wife's body and how she's feeling. If she's up for the adventure, there's no reason pregnancy should hold you both back from creating lasting memories before your family grows.

7. Eating for Two Myth

The “eating for two” myth is one of the most misleading ideas about pregnancy. While it's true that a pregnant woman's body needs extra nutrients, this does not mean she should double her food intake. The reality is, during pregnancy, nutritional quality matters far more than quantity.

Most women only need about 300 extra calories per day in the second and third trimesters to support the baby's development. That's the equivalent of a small snack or an extra portion of healthy food—not an excuse to indulge in endless junk food. The key is to focus on balanced meals with plenty of vitamins, minerals, and protein. Nutrient-rich foods like leafy greens, lean meats, whole grains, and healthy fats will nourish both mom and baby.

Dr. Mark Hyman, a leading expert in functional medicine, says, “It's not about eating more; it's about eating better. A nutrient-dense diet supports both the mother's health and the baby's growth.” Encourage your wife to eat mindfully and prioritize nourishment over quantity. It's all about quality, not just quantity, during these precious months.

8. What Not to Say to a Pregnant Person

Sometimes, people say the most well-meaning things to pregnant women, but they often end up making them feel worse. Let's break down a few things that you, as a husband, should avoid saying to your wife or any pregnant person:

“I know how you feel”

No, you don't. Even if you've been by her side through every step, you are not the one experiencing the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy. It's important to acknowledge this instead of dismissing her experience. Try saying, “I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but I'm here to support you.” Acknowledging her unique experience validates her feelings.

“You look bigger/fatter”

Pregnancy already comes with enough body changes and insecurities. Hearing anything related to weight, even in a joking way, can hurt. Instead, focus on how beautiful and strong she is for carrying life. Compliments like, “You're glowing,” or “You're doing an amazing job,” go a long way in making her feel appreciated and loved.

“Why do you keep crying?”

Pregnancy hormones are no joke, and emotional ups and downs are completely normal. Don't question her tears or make her feel guilty for being emotional. Instead, offer her a safe space to express her feelings without judgment. Simply saying, “It's okay to feel however you're feeling,” can make her feel supported.

“Your pregnancy is taking too long”

Pregnancy can feel like an eternity, especially as the due date approaches, but comments about how long it's taking can make your wife feel even more impatient or frustrated. Instead of focusing on time, remind her that you're in this together. Reassure her that she's doing a great job, and soon, you'll both be welcoming your little one into the world.

9. Avoid Harmful Toxins Completely

During pregnancy, your wife's body is working overtime to support the growth of a new life. This means it's more important than ever to avoid harmful toxins. Substances like cigarette smoke, alcohol, certain cleaning chemicals, and even some beauty products can pose risks to both the mother and the baby. The general rule is: if something seems questionable, it's better to avoid it.

One of the biggest risks is secondhand smoke. If you're a smoker, it's essential to avoid smoking anywhere near your pregnant wife. The chemicals in cigarette smoke can lead to complications like low birth weight or respiratory issues for the baby. Even harsh household cleaning products should be replaced with gentler, pregnancy-safe alternatives.

Environmental toxins aren't just in what you breathe or touch, though. Be cautious about what your wife consumes. Certain foods, like unpasteurized dairy, raw seafood, or deli meats, can carry harmful bacteria or parasites. Help her navigate these restrictions and make smart choices by planning meals together that are both safe and nutritious. Creating a toxin-free environment is a shared responsibility, and by being mindful of what's around her, you're taking an important step in protecting her and the baby.

10. See a Nutritionist

Prenatal nutrition isn't just about eating healthy foods—it's about eating the right foods in the right amounts for both the mother and the developing baby. Consulting a nutritionist can make a world of difference in making sure your wife is getting the nutrients she needs during each stage of pregnancy. Every woman's nutritional needs can be a little different, depending on her body, her pregnancy, and any underlying health concerns.

A nutritionist can help create a personalized meal plan that ensures your wife is getting enough folic acid, iron, calcium, and other essential nutrients. These nutrients are crucial for the baby's brain development, bone growth, and overall health. They can also guide her in managing common pregnancy-related issues like gestational diabetes or high blood pressure through diet.

If consulting a nutritionist feels overwhelming, start small by incorporating prenatal vitamins and focusing on whole, nutrient-rich foods. Experts recommend foods like leafy greens, lean proteins, and whole grains. A nutritionist's advice can give both of you peace of mind, knowing that the pregnancy is supported by a solid nutritional foundation.

11. Stay Hydrated

Staying hydrated is one of the simplest yet most crucial aspects of a healthy pregnancy. Water plays a vital role in carrying nutrients to your wife's body and the baby, aiding in digestion, and even preventing common issues like constipation and swelling. Dehydration can lead to complications such as headaches, dizziness, and fatigue, which are already common in pregnancy—why make them worse?

Encourage your wife to keep a water bottle with her throughout the day. Sipping water regularly is far more effective than trying to gulp down large amounts at once. The goal is about 8 to 10 glasses a day, but this can vary based on activity levels and the climate. If plain water doesn't sound appealing, infusing it with fruits or herbs like lemon, mint, or cucumber can make it more refreshing.

Proper hydration also helps maintain the amniotic fluid levels, which is essential for the baby's protection and growth. Supporting your wife in making hydration a priority is a simple but powerful way to ensure both her comfort and the baby's health.

12. Get Plenty of Rest

Pregnancy is exhausting, both physically and emotionally, which is why rest is non-negotiable. Your wife's body is working hard to grow a human, and that takes a significant amount of energy. As the pregnancy progresses, she'll likely experience more fatigue, especially in the first and third trimesters.

Encourage her to take naps when she can and help her create a sleep-friendly environment. This might mean investing in a good pregnancy pillow or adjusting the room temperature to be more comfortable. Insomnia and discomfort can become more frequent as her belly grows, so getting into a consistent sleep routine can help manage these challenges. Gentle nighttime rituals, like reading together or enjoying a warm bath, can also signal to her body that it's time to rest.

Rest isn't just about sleep, though. It also includes giving herself mental breaks. Pregnancy can come with a lot of stress, and taking time to relax, meditate, or even just sit quietly is just as important as sleep itself. You can support her by taking on more household responsibilities or ensuring she has time to recharge.

Dr. Breus, known as “The Sleep Doctor,” emphasizes the importance of sleep during pregnancy: “The body needs extra rest to heal, grow, and regenerate—especially when growing a baby.” Encourage your wife to listen to her body and rest when she feels the need.

13. Attend Regular Checkups

Prenatal checkups are the backbone of a healthy pregnancy. These regular appointments allow healthcare professionals to monitor the baby's development, check on your wife's health, and catch any potential issues early. Being there for these checkups is one of the most concrete ways you can show your support. It's more than just a medical visit—it's an opportunity for you to be part of the journey and stay informed about every milestone.

Ask questions during these visits. Show your wife that you're as invested in her health and the baby's progress as she is. Whether it's hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time or discussing the results of a scan, your presence makes a difference. It reassures her that you're in this together. Even if you can't make every appointment due to work or other commitments, make the effort to attend key checkups like ultrasounds or discussions about the birth plan.

Additionally, these appointments are a great time to bring up any concerns or symptoms your wife may be experiencing. Sometimes, women hesitate to mention discomforts or worries, but your role can be to help ensure those issues are addressed. Being an active participant in these checkups helps keep both her and the baby on the best path to a healthy delivery.

14. Prioritize Emotional Care and Understanding

Pregnancy is not just a physical journey; it's an emotional one as well. Hormonal shifts, fears about the future, and the sheer weight of carrying new life can bring about a rollercoaster of emotions for your wife. It's your job to be emotionally present and provide a safe space for her to express whatever she's feeling—whether it's joy, anxiety, frustration, or exhaustion.

Emotional care involves listening without judgment. Sometimes your wife may not need solutions or advice; she may just need to vent or feel heard. Validate her feelings by saying things like, “I understand this must be hard for you,” or, “It's okay to feel overwhelmed.” Emotional reassurance from you can help ease the stress that often accompanies pregnancy.

Understanding also means recognizing when your wife needs time to herself. While being supportive is important, so is giving her space to process her emotions independently. Encourage her to pursue activities that make her feel good—whether it's meditation, prenatal yoga, journaling, or simply resting in a quiet space.

As relationship expert Esther Perel often says, “Emotional connection is built through understanding and presence, not just words.” By prioritizing her emotional well-being and being attuned to her needs, you're helping her feel secure and supported during one of the most vulnerable times in her life.

15. Preparing for Parenthood Together

Parenthood doesn't begin the day your baby is born—it starts the moment you both realize you're expecting. Preparing for this life-changing event requires teamwork and planning. One of the first steps is working on a birth plan together. This includes decisions on where the birth will take place, who will be present, and what kind of pain management your wife prefers. Open communication about these choices helps ensure that both of you feel empowered and ready for the big day.

Learning more about pregnancy is another crucial element. While your wife will be experiencing it firsthand, taking the time to read up on what's happening week by week can give you a better understanding of what she's going through. There are countless books, apps, and online resources that can help you stay informed and engaged throughout the pregnancy.

Consider outsourcing housework during this time. As your wife's energy levels fluctuate, she may not be able to handle all of the tasks she once did. Whether it's hiring help for cleaning or asking family members to pitch in, lightening the load at home can make a huge difference in her comfort and well-being.

Joining a supportive community is another great way to prepare. Whether it's a prenatal class, an online forum, or a group of friends who are also expecting, having people to talk to and share experiences with can help both of you feel more connected and less overwhelmed. Avoiding common mistakes—like underestimating the emotional toll pregnancy can take or failing to plan for the postpartum period—is key to starting this journey on the right foot.

16. Commonly Asked Questions

Is it healthy for husbands to smoke around their pregnant wives?

Absolutely not. Smoking around a pregnant woman is dangerous for both her and the baby. Secondhand smoke can lead to complications such as low birth weight, premature birth, and respiratory issues. If you're a smoker, now is the time to quit—or at the very least, smoke far away from your wife and the home environment.

How can husbands support their pregnant wives with morning sickness?

Morning sickness is tough, but you can make it easier by offering small acts of kindness. Prepare bland snacks like crackers or toast, offer ginger tea, and keep the house stocked with foods that are less likely to trigger nausea. Let her rest when she needs to and be patient if she's feeling irritable or overwhelmed.

What activities should not be done during pregnancy?

Avoid high-impact sports, activities with a risk of falling, and anything that could lead to abdominal trauma, such as contact sports or heavy lifting. Always consult her healthcare provider before starting any new exercise routines.

What should husbands avoid during pregnancy?

Besides smoking, avoid making insensitive comments or comparing her experience to anyone else's. Don't minimize her emotions or discomforts, and refrain from placing too much focus on your own needs—this is a time when your wife's needs come first.

What are the things a pregnant woman needs from her husband?

She needs your emotional support, patience, understanding, and willingness to be involved. Small gestures, like attending doctor's appointments, offering words of affirmation, and helping around the house, go a long way in showing her that you're fully committed to this journey together.

Conclusion

Pregnancy is an extraordinary time filled with excitement, challenges, and immense growth—for both of you. As a husband, your role in this journey is more vital than you may realize. Your wife needs your support in ways that go far beyond physical help. She needs you to be emotionally present, sensitive to her changing needs, and proactive in learning about pregnancy.

By avoiding common pitfalls, such as harmful myths about pregnancy or thoughtless comments, and by making the effort to be a compassionate partner, you'll create an environment where she feels safe, valued, and loved. This shared experience can strengthen your bond as a couple, preparing you both for the incredible adventure of parenthood ahead.

Remember, no one expects perfection—just presence and care. Every small effort you make adds up, whether it's attending a prenatal checkup, helping around the house, or simply listening when she needs to talk. You're in this together, and your consistent support will make all the difference in creating a positive and empowering pregnancy experience.

The key to being a great husband during pregnancy isn't found in grand gestures, but in the little things you do daily to show you're fully invested in the journey you're both on.

Recommended Resources

• The Expectant Father by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash
• What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
• The Pregnancy Encyclopedia by DK