How to cope when life gets turned upside down

By Nicci Nelson

• Talk to someone!! - it always helps when you've got a friend (or a few) you can talk to about the issues your dealing with so you can have someone to bounce ideas off. even if they dont have any sound advice to offer, just getting things off your chest is a good start!

• Get Organized! - have you ever noticed the only time you see a messy room in movies is when they are shooting a scene of a depressed individual? this is no coincidence! when your depressed and don't feel like doing anything and everything suddenly gets out of place, you cant help but feel the depression even more. so get everything organized! i would recommend starting with a full deep clean of the unit, then going through the filing cabinet, underneath sinks, inside closets and really getting down to the nitty grittiest of details. It helps if you've got a partner who can do this with you, crank up the music and you'll be done in no time! Best part is, when you're all finished, you can look back and enjoy the serenity of an organized, well kept home. This brings peace of mind.

• Let yourself vent. - Many people think that when they are having feelings of " depression" they just need to pick it up and pretend like nothings wrong. this is the worst thing to do. no I'm not telling you to go around sobbing all day every day to every single person you encounter. but at some point, whether by yourself or having a heart to heart with someone close, let those tear drops fall. the only way to move on and begin growing again is to let go of what has happened to you. Even if it was your fault. it's not about the mistakes you make, but what you do about them that matters.

• Be thankful! - Remember, even tho your world might seem like its over right now, there are always people who are worse off than you are. This is the time to be grateful for the little things in life. A roof over your head, good food in your belly, close family, even something as simple as having electricity is something to be thankful for.

• Stay Logical. - Okay so you need to make sure you stay in touch with reality. don't create ideas that are obviouly unattainable. life may not always going to be exactly what yo wanted, but you can make it that way. however, you've also gotta remember that its the experiences you've had in life that make you who you are. So learn from the mistakes you've made, apprecaite them and move on. Cause without the bitter baby, the sweet ain't as sweet!

• Be proactive! - this means if you have paperwork to fill out, people to call, loose ends to tie up, get them done!! setting them aside will do nothing but make getting back on track even harder. Do what you can at the time, and let yourself relax and forget about it untill whatever it is comes up again. don't spend your time worrying about all of the issues. think about them, find a solution, do what you can to get toward that solution, and dont let it whirl around in your head. when it does invade your thoughts just remember this. you've done every step possible for right now, theres nothing else you can do but wait. so worrying about it all the time isn't going to benefit anyone. Remember, this too shall pass.

• Keep a positive attitude. - Everything will be alright. As long as you dont burry yourself in a self pittying whole, you can figure out how to get a grip on things! If you think you've gone through something you'll never recover from, chances are, you wont. Not because you can't, but because your're telling yourself you can't. During a rough patch it seems like the easiest thing to do is just cuddle up under the covers and not move for days. but the reality is, this isnt going to do anything but make matters worse. If there are issues that you need to attend to, or obligations you need to fulfill, do yourself a HUGE favor and be PROACTIVE! At the very least, when the day is over you'll feel you've acomplished something. who doens't get a good feeling when they've gotten stuff out of the way, right?

• Get a Hobby. - yes i know this is so cliche. but it is entirely true. you don't necessarily have to learn how to make a quilt or build tiny ships in a bottle...but rather something that you used to enjoy doing and havn't focused on in a while. it could be something as small as picking up that book you never finished, or going walking around your neighborhood. Although i mentioned above to let it all out because its healthy, you've also gotta keep yourself occupied after you purged all of your feelings.

• Don't give up! - If you give up now, and say the hell with it, you're never gunna know what could've been. my best advice to you, go for it! whatever it is you think might help you achieve a happy life. ( as long as its not something detrimental to your health, such as drugs or alcoholism) the worst thing that can happen is you fail, and if you fail, it'll be as if you never tried, right? so what have you got to lose? Also remember, if at first you don't succeed, try try again! Don't let your fears of not achieving success stop you from your future endeavors.