Dear eNotAlone: I'm thirty-two and I feel like my life has ended. I was a star in high school, excelled at every subject, good with arts and science, had so many friends, could impress people easily and that was me till my college and work life began.
In college, I started feeling inferior to other students by comparing and competing against them, although my grades were still A's but could not last the momentum due to the constant comparison stress. I got a job after college, but still was not satisfied with the role and most of the time felt overworked. I started looking for something bigger, never got it.
The trend continued in my subsequent jobs and now, I am stuck in a desk job, with no sense of accomplishment. I tried to boost myself up through self-help books, videos and podcasts, but nothing has worked out for me. Everywhere I look around, I see people much younger than me, living their life and achieving more success.
I don't know how to get living my life again. Please help me and give me advice on how to start fresh and move on in my life.
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Life is full of ebbs and flows. It's easy to feel stuck and powerless when life isn't going our way. But it's important to remember that you always have the power to change your situation and make positive changes. A great way to start this process is to focus on what you can control right now.
Your first step should be to take a good hard look at where you're currently at in life, and to honestly assess what's been holding you back. Are there areas that you need to work on? Is fear preventing you from taking a risk? Do you need to work on your confidence or prioritizing your own goals and values?
Once you've identified what needs improving, you can start making an action plan. Make a list of specific goals you'd like to achieve, and develop a timeline for accomplishing them. Don't rush yourself; give yourself adequate time and space to work, and break up your goals into smaller, manageable chunks.
You should also focus on your emotional wellbeing. Start by carving out some time to do things that are solely for yourself, like hobbies or activities you enjoy. Taking the time to enjoy once again the things that used to bring you happiness can help you to ground yourself and build a solid foundation to start fresh.
Next, it's important to draw boundaries with people in your life. Maybe that means setting boundaries around what topics you discuss with family and friends, or avoiding toxic people who bring you down. Whatever it may be, taking control of your environment can help to make sure that you're surrounded with positive people who want to see you succeed.
Reach out for help. Talking to a licensed therapist or a trusted friend or family member can be a great way to "vent" and share your frustrations. You may even find comfort in the idea that you're not alone - many individuals go through phases in life when things feel difficult and unchanging.
When we're feeling stuck in life, the best thing to do is to take charge and start developing a plan of action – even if it's a small one. And don't forget to practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself to "succeed" overnight. Change takes time, and if you stay consistent and patient, you'll eventually start to make progress.
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