Dear eNotAlone: I'm 28-year-old guy and have been scrambling to stay afloat. Besides the normal day-to-day stress, I'm struggling with loneliness, lack of direction, lost friendships and relationships, and difficulty trusting people because of all of these things. There's this feeling that I am spiraling out of control into some endless abyss.
I feel like I made a lot of mistakes in life and don't know how to gain back some sense of control. Some of the choices I made were fun in the moment but now I find myself at rock bottom and feel overwhelmed every single day. I try to stay positive and "turn over a new leaf" but I just feel so darn UNFOCUSED, not knowing where to turn. It's hard for me to even put into words how much pain I'm in. How do I cope with this overwhelming feeling and move past my mistakes in life?
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Life can often throw us a few curve-balls that can make us feel like we are powerless and ready to give up. It is important to remember that you have the power to overcome any obstacle and achieve your goals.
The first thing to do is to identify and address negative beliefs and thought patterns. We all have judgments and criticism that we express to ourselves, especially in difficult times. Focusing on the present and being aware of those thoughts can help you when trying to find a way out of feeling overwhelmed. Be mindful of the idea that we have limited control over the world around us, while still having full control over how we respond. Acknowledge the fear and doubt and instead focus on building strong foundations and setting future objectives.
Believe in yourself and take small steps that will help you gain confidence and create strategies. Doing this can help you realize that there is hope and opportunity after failure. Reflect on the changes that you need to make and ask for help from friends and colleagues, if necessary. Reaching out can be scary, but it can also be the beginning of some form of re-direction.
It's okay to make mistakes and it's okay to feel beaten down -even though it's tough sometimes. Sometimes the darkest hours are right before the sun comes up. Self-care is vital during this difficult time. Make sure you're taking care of your physical and mental health by getting plenty of rest, eating nutritious food, and meditating/praying/practicing mindfulness. Engage in activities that nurture your soul such as painting, dancing, or yoga. Be gentle with yourself by allowing yourself time to process your emotions and feelings.
Take time to reflect on where you are right now, and what kind of person you want to become. Once you remember who you are and what you care about, re-focus on your purpose. This isn't about ignoring the pain of the past, it is about recognizing the parts of your history that helped shape you into the person you are today. Remembering will bring strength and provide clarity in your journey ahead.
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