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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Forgiving the Unkindest Cuts: Ways to Find Compassion and Take Steps Toward Ultimate Freedom

    Childhood can be one of the roughest periods of our lives when it comes to dealing with pain. As we grow older, we may carry the damaging effects of this pain into adulthood in the form of emotional trauma, fear, and guilt. Unresolved pain from childhood can result in poor self-esteem, depression, anxiety, as well as a range of destructive behaviors. Many of us are tempted to give in to these feelings; however, taking steps towards forgiving those who have hurt us is vital for emotional and spiritual healing.

    The act of forgiveness lies at the heart of improving well-being and inner peace. It can be defined as an act of mercy in which we choose to accept past wrongs, intentionally let go of painful emotions such as resentment and anger, and recognize those wrongs need not define or imprison us in our current situations. Though it may seem easier said than done in some cases, this act of radical self- acceptance is much closer to us than most may think.

    Starting down the path to forgiveness begins with pausing to treat ourselves with compassion and gentleness. Our loved ones may have stumbled through difficult moments, but our own mistakes have too. We must remind ourselves we have been kind and understanding when our family members or friends made mistakes—this same kindness should be reflected onto ourselves first and foremost when negative events arrive in our lives.

    From here, it is important to recognize that every single person experiences pain. Many aspects of life are outside of our control, leading us all at times to feel moments of confusion and helplessness. Understanding this quickly dispels any false notions of personal failure or supreme guilt caused by past pain. Making peace with suffering requires a mindful stance which cultivates presence and attention towards ourselves instead of getting stuck in the past.

    Beyond comforting self-talk and recognizing shared pain, forgiveness requires action in order for true healing to occur. To begin the process, take a moment to breathe deeply and visualize embracing each and every part of your story—the good and the bad—as they exist both in the present and beyond what happened in your past. After releasing a wave of tension, start to create an internal space designed for voicing your truth. Write down or express aloud any recent stresses or details associated with childhood traumas without judgement or expectations.

    Though it's important to stay present with what comes up in terms of difficult memories, it's just as vital to focus on actual progress towards restoring inner harmony by getting out of nasty ruts when they arise. the goal is to constructively point lessons learned from past experiences toward meaningful goals in life. Doing so can help reconfigure bad memories and drive into fresh motivators for change going forward.

    Part of this active approach includes re-shaping relationships from the past in an effort to celebrate what is healthy about them today. Engaging with positive, compassionate people opens up possibilities for developing loving connections in daily moments that were previously thought lost. Conditions and environments do change over time whether we realize it or not, and those changes offer opportunities for resolution. Acknowledging these advancements can lead to deeper intimacy and understanding with such people, actively promoting hope and brighter outcomes for the future.

    Forgiveness isn't something meant to be taken lightly; it takes tremendous strength to dive deeply into adopting new coping strategies instead of allowing anger or resentment to fully take hold. forgiveness gives us a power far greater than anything else: freedom—freedom from past wounds that haunt us and freedom to strive for greater awareness in our present lives. It even allows us to write down new stories in our lives, stories filled with courage and strength while honoring the past at the same time. Every day can be a brand new invitation to living out loud if given a chance.

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