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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Don't Take This for Granted (It's Easier Than You Think)

    Key Takeaways:

    • We often overlook essential things.
    • Health is the bedrock of life.
    • Strong relationships require effort.
    • Time is irreplaceable; use it wisely.
    • Living in the moment brings clarity.

    Why We Take Things for Granted

    It's easy to take things for granted when they feel constant in our lives. You don't realize how much you appreciate something—until it's gone. We've all been there. Whether it's our health, the love of someone close, or simply the moments of silence we brush aside in the hustle of daily life, we often live on autopilot, missing the beauty of the now.

    Psychologist Daniel Kahneman's concept of “the focusing illusion” explains this. We tend to overvalue what's right in front of us and neglect what feels permanent or background. But that "permanence" is deceptive. Nothing lasts forever, and when we forget that, it becomes easy to lose sight of what truly matters.

    This article is about waking up from that fog—before life forces us to do so. Let's take a closer look at the things we often dismiss, but can't afford to ignore.

    Health: The Foundation We Overlook

    Most of us don't stop to think about our health until something goes wrong. You wake up with a headache, or a cold knocks you off your feet, and suddenly, it's the only thing that matters. But what about the days when you feel good? It's easy to push health maintenance aside when everything feels fine, but this is precisely the time to invest in it.

    As the saying goes, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." The advice might feel overused, but the truth is undeniable. Regular exercise, eating right, and getting enough sleep are vital, yet we often treat them like afterthoughts. Why? Because we assume we'll always have time later.

    But "later" isn't guaranteed. Chronic illnesses and unexpected health issues can arise in the blink of an eye. Prioritizing your well-being today, even in small ways, is one of the most valuable gifts you can give your future self.

    Family: Nurturing Our Closest Bonds

    family dinner

    Family is often the heart of our lives, yet it's also where we tend to let our guard down. It's easy to assume that our family will always be there, providing support and unconditional love. But just like any relationship, family bonds need active nurturing. Whether it's making time for family dinners, calling a sibling out of the blue, or just listening more intently to your parents, these small acts can strengthen the ties that matter most.

    Think about it: how many times have we been physically present but emotionally distant from our family? In the whirlwind of responsibilities, it becomes all too easy to focus on the external world while neglecting those closest to us. Studies show that maintaining healthy family relationships significantly improves overall well-being. When we feel connected to our family, it grounds us, provides emotional resilience, and creates a sense of belonging.

    Don't wait for family gatherings or crises to bring you together. Start today by putting in the effort to show your family that you care. It doesn't take much, but the benefits can be profound.

    Friendships: The Ties That Need Attention

    We all know friendships are important, but how often do we let them slip through the cracks? Life gets busy—work, family, personal commitments—and suddenly, months go by without a call or text to the friends who used to mean the world to us. Like any other relationship, friendships require attention and energy.

    Research by psychologist Robin Dunbar suggests that we can only maintain a limited number of close relationships, about 5 to 15 core friendships. If we don't actively nurture these, they fade away. But when we put in the time, friends are one of the richest sources of joy and comfort. They provide emotional support and can even extend our lifespan, according to some studies.

    Are you prioritizing your friendships enough? Whether it's planning a coffee date or sending a simple text to check in, these small efforts remind our friends—and ourselves—just how much we value them. Sometimes, all it takes is consistency and presence to keep those bonds strong.

    Love: Appreciating the Emotion We Crave

    Love is one of the most profound human emotions, yet it's surprisingly easy to overlook in our day-to-day lives. Whether it's romantic love, the love of family, or the deep affection we feel for close friends, we often assume it will always be there. But like any feeling, love needs to be nurtured, noticed, and cherished.

    We crave love, but sometimes we forget to appreciate it when it's right in front of us. Take a moment to ask yourself: When was the last time you genuinely expressed your love for someone? When did you last show gratitude for the love you receive? It's not enough to feel it—we have to act on it.

    In her book The Art of Loving, renowned psychoanalyst Erich Fromm reminds us that “Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a ‘standing in,' not a ‘falling for.'” Real love takes effort, care, and continuous action. It's not just a feeling that we wait to experience; it's something we consciously create every day through small, meaningful gestures. A loving relationship isn't built on grand gestures but on the little things—thoughtful words, time spent together, or a simple touch.

    Don't wait for love to become something you miss. Appreciate it in all its forms today and make the effort to give and receive it more openly.

    Time: The One Thing We Can't Get Back

    Time is, without a doubt, the most precious resource we have. Yet, how often do we waste it? We procrastinate, get caught up in distractions, or focus on things that don't really matter in the long run. But time, unlike money or possessions, is something we can never get back once it's gone.

    Psychologists often talk about the concept of "time scarcity"—the feeling that there's never enough time to do everything we want or need to. This is a universal human experience, but how we choose to spend our time ultimately determines the quality of our lives.

    Take a hard look at how you're using your time. Are you prioritizing the things that truly matter to you, or are you caught in a cycle of routine and obligation? It's easy to get lost in the grind and forget about the importance of time spent with loved ones, personal growth, or even just relaxing.

    We can't control time, but we can control how we use it. Be mindful of how you invest your days. Don't fall into the trap of assuming you'll have time later to focus on what matters most. As the old proverb goes, “Time waits for no one.” Let's make sure we're using it wisely.

    Silence: The Power of Reflection

    We live in a world filled with noise—constant notifications, endless conversations, and the hum of everyday life. Silence has become something we almost fear, filling the empty moments with distractions. But in that silence lies power. It's where we can reconnect with ourselves, reflect on our thoughts, and find clarity in the chaos.

    Taking time to be silent isn't just about turning off the noise around you; it's about tuning into what's within you. According to mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” Silence offers the space for mindfulness, where we can observe our emotions, face our fears, and come to terms with what's truly important to us.

    When we embrace moments of quiet, we give ourselves the chance to reflect on our lives, our goals, and our relationships. It's in these moments of introspection that we often gain the insights we need to move forward with intention and purpose. Silence is not empty; it's full of opportunity.

    So, don't just seek silence—embrace it. Make time for moments of stillness each day. You might be surprised at what you discover in the quiet.

    Laughter: The Best Medicine We Forget

    When was the last time you truly laughed? Not just a chuckle or a smile, but a deep, belly-aching laugh that made you forget everything else for a moment? Laughter has a way of lightening our mood, relieving stress, and reminding us that life doesn't have to be so serious all the time. Yet, we often forget just how vital it is to our well-being.

    As the saying goes, “Laughter is the best medicine.” This isn't just a cliché; it's backed by science. Research has shown that laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. It boosts the immune system, improves mood, and can even reduce pain. Dr. Robert Provine, a neuroscientist who studied laughter, stated that “Laughter is a social signal, not an emotion.” It connects us with others and builds social bonds, which are crucial for mental health.

    But in the grind of daily life, we often lose touch with laughter. Stress, deadlines, and responsibilities can make us forget the simple joy of humor. That's why it's essential to seek out moments that make us laugh—whether it's watching a funny show, spending time with friends who bring out the lighter side of life, or even laughing at ourselves when things don't go as planned.

    Laughter might not solve all our problems, but it can certainly make them feel a little lighter. So, let's make it a priority to laugh more often. It's a simple yet powerful way to boost our mood and remind ourselves that joy is always within reach.

    Nature: Reconnecting with the World Around Us

    In the digital age, we've grown increasingly disconnected from nature. Our days are filled with artificial light, concrete walls, and glowing screens, leaving little time to engage with the natural world. Yet, nature has an incredible ability to heal, ground, and rejuvenate us. Stepping outside, feeling the wind on your face, or walking through a forest can instantly lift your mood and reduce stress.

    According to biophilia theory, developed by biologist Edward O. Wilson, humans have an innate connection to nature. We crave it, even if we're not fully aware of this desire. Studies back this up—spending time in green spaces has been shown to lower cortisol levels, improve focus, and increase overall happiness. Whether it's a hike in the mountains or a quiet moment in a park, nature offers us something we can't replicate in our busy, artificial environments.

    We often take nature for granted, assuming it will always be there, waiting for us when we're ready. But just like anything else in life, we must make time for it. Reconnecting with the world around us is a simple, powerful way to reduce stress, boost mental clarity, and remind ourselves of life's bigger picture. So, unplug for a while and immerse yourself in nature's healing embrace.

    Dreams: The Importance of Pursuing What Fulfills Us

    We all have dreams—those quiet desires that stir inside us, waiting for the right moment to take flight. But life has a funny way of getting in the way. Responsibilities, fear of failure, or just the sheer demands of everyday living can push our dreams to the back burner. Still, ignoring them for too long comes with a cost.

    Following our dreams isn't just about achieving a goal; it's about pursuing what brings us fulfillment and meaning. Psychologist Abraham Maslow, famous for his hierarchy of needs, emphasized that self-actualization—reaching our full potential—is a key aspect of a fulfilling life. And it's not just about grand achievements. Whether it's starting a side project, learning a new skill, or simply daring to live more authentically, pursuing our dreams keeps us connected to who we truly are.

    Ask yourself: What are you holding back from? What dreams have you left dormant for too long? Don't wait for the “perfect” time, because there's no such thing. The pursuit of your dreams, big or small, is part of what gives life its richness and depth. And remember, the journey itself can be just as rewarding as the destination.

    Let's make a conscious effort to nurture our dreams. After all, they're a vital part of what makes us human.

    Freedom: Valuing Our Choices

    Freedom is something we often don't fully appreciate until it's restricted or taken away. Whether it's the freedom to choose our career, lifestyle, or how we spend our time, having control over our choices is a privilege. Yet, many of us go through life without recognizing just how much freedom we truly have—and how much we can influence the direction of our lives through the choices we make.

    Philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said, “We are our choices.” This idea underscores the power and responsibility we hold over our own lives. The freedom to make decisions, even the small ones, is what shapes our identity and our future. But freedom doesn't come without challenges. Sometimes the sheer number of choices can overwhelm us, leading to decision fatigue, where making even simple choices becomes exhausting. Still, it's crucial to remember that freedom is a gift, and making thoughtful, intentional choices can lead to a life of greater fulfillment.

    Whether it's choosing to pursue a dream, deciding how we spend our time, or even how we react to difficult circumstances, valuing our freedom means taking responsibility for our choices. It's about living consciously, understanding that each decision can shape our path, and embracing the opportunities that freedom provides.

    The Present Moment: Living in the Now

    How often do we find ourselves living in the past or worrying about the future? It's a common human experience. Yet, life happens in the present moment, and when we're too caught up in other timeframes, we miss out on the beauty and clarity of the here and now. The present moment is where joy resides, where we can fully engage with the world around us, and where we have the power to make meaningful changes.

    Philosopher Alan Watts emphasized the importance of living in the now, noting that “No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.” Being present allows us to experience life fully, instead of being trapped in regrets about the past or anxieties about what's ahead. This mindfulness can be incredibly grounding, helping us to reduce stress, build better relationships, and even improve our mental health.

    Living in the now doesn't mean ignoring the future or forgetting the lessons of the past. It's about finding a balance. It's making sure that we're fully engaged in the present while learning from the past and preparing for the future without being consumed by either. It's a mindset that brings peace and makes life richer in meaning.

    Take a moment to pause and be present, right now. Notice your surroundings, your thoughts, and the sensations in your body. This is where life is truly happening—don't let it slip by unnoticed.

    Recommended Resources

    • The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm
    • Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
    • Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

     

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