6 Powerful Ways To Handle a Conniving Person (And Take Back Control)

Key Takeaways:

• Identify manipulation early on.
• Trust your own instincts.
• Set firm personal boundaries.
• Focus on emotional resilience.
• Don't fear standing your ground.

Understanding Conniving Behavior

We've all crossed paths with a conniving person, whether in our social circles, workplaces, or even personal relationships. These individuals have a unique ability to twist situations, manipulate emotions, and create a sense of self-doubt in others. What's most frustrating is their ability to operate behind a mask of charm and deception. It can be incredibly challenging to recognize their behavior in the moment, especially when you're close to them.

So, what does it mean to be conniving? In essence, a conniving person is someone who plots or schemes, often in secret, to get their way, even at the expense of others. They thrive on control, using manipulation as their primary weapon. It's crucial to understand that these individuals are driven by their own needs, often disregarding how their actions affect others. Knowing the characteristics of a conniving person is the first step in protecting yourself from their tactics.

Signs of a Conniving Person

Spotting a conniving person early on can save you a lot of emotional turmoil down the road. They rarely act openly, preferring to operate in the shadows, which makes their behavior hard to pinpoint at first. However, their patterns eventually emerge, and if you know what to look for, you'll be able to recognize the signs.

First, they are master manipulators. They'll often play both sides of a conflict, appearing to be an ally while secretly working against you. They also avoid direct confrontation, preferring instead to create division among people through subtle manipulations. A conniving person may use guilt, shame, or fear to get their way, leaving you second-guessing your own feelings and decisions.

Another major sign is their lack of accountability. Conniving people refuse to own up to their mistakes, shifting the blame onto others whenever possible. They are experts at making others feel responsible for their own missteps. You'll notice that their words don't align with their actions, and promises are frequently broken without remorse. Over time, this creates a toxic dynamic where you feel trapped in their web of lies and manipulation.

How Manipulation Hurts Relationships

Manipulation erodes the foundation of any relationship, whether it's between partners, friends, or family. At first, it might seem like small, subtle shifts in behavior. But over time, manipulation begins to take a toll on trust, communication, and emotional safety. When one person constantly schemes to control the other's emotions, decisions, and actions, the relationship becomes unbalanced and unhealthy.

One of the most destructive aspects of manipulation is how it makes the victim question their reality. You may find yourself doubting your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. This phenomenon, known as gaslighting, is a common tactic used by manipulators to maintain power and control. The manipulator will often make you feel guilty for questioning their motives, leading you to suppress your own needs and emotions.

Manipulative behavior creates emotional exhaustion. When you're constantly trying to decipher someone's hidden agenda or walking on eggshells, it's impossible to have a healthy, open relationship. Over time, this emotional strain can destroy the bond you once shared, leaving you feeling isolated and disconnected.

The Psychological Impact of Dealing with Manipulators

The psychological toll of dealing with a manipulator is immense. Manipulation affects your self-esteem, confidence, and mental well-being in ways that often go unnoticed until you're deeply entangled in the toxic dynamic. It's not just about the stress of managing their behavior; it's the cumulative effect on your emotional and psychological health that takes the heaviest toll.

When you're constantly under manipulation, your brain enters a heightened state of vigilance. You may find yourself overanalyzing their actions, becoming hyper-aware of their moods, and feeling responsible for keeping the peace. This constant state of alertness triggers the body's stress response, leading to increased anxiety, fatigue, and even physical symptoms like headaches or insomnia.

Over time, this stress can lead to more serious mental health issues. Research shows that individuals who are subjected to long-term manipulation can develop depression, anxiety disorders, or even PTSD-like symptoms. Dr. George Simon, in his book In Sheep's Clothing, describes manipulators as “covert-aggressors,” using subtle, insidious tactics to maintain power, which makes them difficult to confront or expose without psychological fallout.

Dealing with manipulators leaves deep emotional scars, and it's important to recognize the signs early before your mental health is deeply affected. By understanding these psychological impacts, you can better equip yourself to protect your well-being.

Why They Don't Care About Others' Opinions

Conniving individuals are primarily driven by their own needs and desires. They care little for the opinions or feelings of others because their worldview revolves around what benefits them. At their core, they are opportunists, and anything outside of their immediate self-interest is irrelevant. This lack of concern for others' perspectives is one of the defining traits that allow them to manipulate situations with such ease.

Psychologically speaking, many manipulators exhibit traits of narcissism, which means they feel a sense of superiority that leads them to dismiss others' viewpoints entirely. For them, empathy is a tool they use sparingly—if at all. A conniving person may pretend to care about your feelings or opinions, but this is typically a façade designed to achieve a goal. This lack of genuine care can make it extremely frustrating to try and reason with them. They rarely, if ever, engage in meaningful dialogue or compromise.

They see emotions and opinions as weaknesses to be exploited. This is why, even when you share how their actions affect you, they seem indifferent or, worse, use your vulnerability against you. It's crucial to recognize that trying to win their approval or change their behavior through reasoning is a fruitless endeavor. Their lack of empathy is a cornerstone of their manipulative tactics.

Bringing You Down: Their Tactics Explained

Conniving people are masters of subtle, underhanded tactics designed to undermine your confidence and erode your sense of self-worth. They may not attack you openly but instead opt for more insidious methods like sarcasm, backhanded compliments, and quiet manipulation. These tactics are so subtle that you often don't realize what's happening until the damage has been done.

One of the most common tactics is sowing seeds of doubt. A manipulator will question your decisions, undermine your successes, or make you feel incapable, all under the guise of concern or advice. This method is particularly effective because it slowly chips away at your self-esteem. Over time, you start to internalize their negativity and second-guess your abilities.

Another tactic is playing the victim. Conniving individuals often frame themselves as misunderstood or mistreated, which can make you feel guilty for standing up to them. This manipulative technique, known as emotional blackmail, is designed to keep you off-balance, making it harder to call out their behavior. They may also pit you against others, creating divisions in your social or professional circles to isolate you and solidify their control.

These tactics aren't just harmful—they're deliberate. A conniving person doesn't “accidentally” bring you down. They're well aware of what they're doing, and the ultimate goal is control, power, and influence over you. Recognizing these tactics for what they are is the first step to breaking free from their hold.

They Avoid Accountability: The Key to Their Control

A hallmark of conniving individuals is their total inability to accept responsibility for their actions. Avoiding accountability is not just a survival strategy for them—it's their means of control. When confronted with their behavior, they'll deflect, deny, or shift the blame onto someone else. This lack of accountability allows them to maintain a position of power while avoiding the consequences of their actions.

Psychologically, this behavior aligns with what experts refer to as "externalization." Essentially, instead of reflecting inward and considering how their actions affect others, conniving people push the blame outward. This externalization allows them to protect their fragile ego while still manipulating the situation to their advantage. In relationships, this creates a toxic dynamic where you constantly feel like you're the one in the wrong, even when you're clearly being wronged.

By never owning their mistakes, they keep you in a perpetual state of self-doubt. You might find yourself apologizing for things that aren't your fault or bending over backward to keep the peace. The more they evade accountability, the more power they accumulate. They create a web of lies and manipulations so dense that it becomes hard to untangle the truth from the fiction. The result is a confusing and disorienting experience where they continue to hold control over you.

When Their Words Mean Nothing

Have you ever noticed that a conniving person's promises rarely, if ever, materialize? Their words are often empty, designed more to pacify or deceive than to reflect any real intention. Whether it's a promise to change, to be more considerate, or to follow through on an agreement, their words are meaningless. This isn't just a coincidence—it's a core part of their manipulation strategy.

Conniving individuals use words as tools for control, not as an expression of truth or sincerity. They may say what you want to hear in the moment, but their actions rarely align with their promises. Over time, you start to notice this pattern—broken promises, unmet commitments, and empty apologies. These are not accidents; they are carefully crafted to keep you hooked, holding onto hope that things will change.

This tactic, often referred to as "breadcrumbing," involves giving just enough attention or assurance to keep you engaged without ever fulfilling their end of the bargain. It keeps you in a cycle of anticipation and disappointment. The constant inconsistency is mentally exhausting, making it harder for you to see the manipulation for what it is. Eventually, you begin to expect less from them, adjusting your standards to accommodate their behavior, which only deepens their control over you.

Understanding that their words mean nothing is liberating. Once you realize that promises and commitments are simply tools they use to manipulate you, you can start to free yourself from their influence and set boundaries that protect your emotional and mental health.

Punishing You For Defying Them

One of the most toxic behaviors a conniving person exhibits is their tendency to punish you for defying them. This punishment isn't always overt; in fact, it's often quite subtle. They might withdraw affection, give you the silent treatment, or manipulate circumstances to make you feel guilty for standing your ground. It's their way of re-establishing control after you've dared to challenge their authority.

When someone uses emotional punishment as a tool for control, it's a form of coercive manipulation. They want to train you to avoid confronting them, to remain compliant out of fear of the consequences. Over time, you may find yourself bending to their will simply to avoid the emotional fallout, whether it's an argument, cold treatment, or passive-aggressive jabs.

This cycle of punishment is designed to reinforce their dominance in the relationship. Psychologically, it's akin to conditioning. Just as one might train a pet through rewards and punishments, a conniving person uses similar tactics on the people in their life. Each time you conform to their expectations out of fear of punishment, you're reinforcing the behavior, making it even harder to break free from their control.

They Divide Your Social Circles

Conniving individuals often thrive on division and chaos. They know that the more fractured your social circles are, the easier it is for them to maintain control. By turning people against one another, they create a climate of distrust and conflict, where they alone hold the power to mediate or manipulate outcomes.

This tactic, often referred to as "triangulation," involves pitting people against one another, spreading misinformation, or subtly sowing seeds of doubt about someone's character. They may play the role of the victim with one person and the confidant with another, all while pulling the strings behind the scenes. The goal is to isolate you from your support network, making it harder for you to see through their manipulations or gain outside perspective.

In relationships, this can look like them creating friction between you and your friends or family. They might make comments that lead you to question others' intentions or frame situations in a way that makes them seem like your only ally. Over time, this isolation becomes a powerful tool, leaving you dependent on the manipulator for emotional support and validation.

Understanding this tactic is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships outside of the manipulator's influence. It's essential to recognize when someone is trying to create divisions and to strengthen your connections with others. By doing so, you can reclaim your social support and weaken the manipulator's grip on your life.

Constantly Moving the Goalposts: A Power Play

Conniving individuals are notorious for constantly shifting the standards they hold you to, a tactic known as “moving the goalposts.” Just when you think you've met their expectations, they raise the bar or change the rules entirely. This is a deliberate strategy designed to keep you off-balance, always striving for approval that never seems to come.

The goalpost-moving tactic creates a sense of instability and insecurity in relationships. You may feel like you're always falling short, no matter how hard you try. This feeling of never being "good enough" keeps you in a cycle of seeking validation from the manipulator, who uses this power to further control the situation.

Moving the goalposts is also a form of gaslighting. By changing the standards after the fact, they make you question your memory, your abilities, and your worth. It's an exhausting and demoralizing process, leaving you feeling perpetually inadequate. The constant uncertainty gives them the upper hand, ensuring that you stay in a position where they can dictate the terms of the relationship.

The key to overcoming this tactic is recognizing it for what it is—an intentional power play. Once you see that the rules keep changing not because of your shortcomings, but because of their desire for control, you can stop chasing their approval and set clear boundaries.

Why They Feel Entitled to Control You

At the heart of most conniving behavior is a deep sense of entitlement. Manipulative individuals believe that they have the right to control the people around them, often without any regard for how their actions affect others. This entitlement stems from a combination of traits, including narcissism, insecurity, and sometimes even past traumas that have gone unresolved.

Conniving people often see relationships as transactional—they feel entitled to take what they want, be it emotional validation, control, or even resources. Their sense of superiority leads them to believe that they deserve to manipulate others, whether it's to boost their own ego or to ensure that things go their way. This entitlement often manifests as a need to dictate how others live, think, and feel.

They may justify their controlling behavior by framing it as “helping” or “guiding” you, but the reality is that they are driven by a need for power. In some cases, this entitlement is reinforced by previous relationships where their behavior went unchallenged, allowing them to believe that controlling others is their right.

The first step in breaking free from their grip is to challenge this entitlement head-on. Recognizing that no one is entitled to control your thoughts, emotions, or actions is key to reclaiming your autonomy. Once you understand that their manipulative behavior is rooted in a false sense of entitlement, you can begin to dismantle their influence over you.

How To Stand Strong Against Manipulation

Standing strong against manipulation requires both self-awareness and a commitment to your own boundaries. It's not easy, especially when a conniving person has spent so much time undermining your confidence and sense of self. But the key to breaking free lies in reclaiming your mental and emotional power. It's about recognizing their tactics for what they are and refusing to let their manipulation dictate your actions or self-worth.

The first step is to trust yourself. Conniving people thrive on making you question your own perceptions and instincts. By learning to trust your gut again, you can begin to see through their games. Pay attention to how their actions make you feel. If something feels off, it probably is.

It's also crucial to set and maintain firm boundaries. Manipulators will test those boundaries constantly, but standing firm sends a clear message that you won't be controlled. Boundaries are not about pushing others away; they're about protecting your emotional and mental well-being. Whether it's limiting interactions or cutting them off completely, the choice is yours to make based on what's best for you.

Finally, don't engage with their attempts to bait you into emotional reactions. Conniving individuals often use drama and conflict as a way to pull you back into their orbit. Stay calm, stick to the facts, and refuse to get drawn into their game. By doing so, you take away the power they have over you.

Strategies To Take Back Control (6 Key Tactics)

Reclaiming control from a manipulator isn't easy, but it's absolutely possible. Here are six key strategies that can help you regain your power and protect yourself from their influence:

1. Ignore their tricks and stay focused: Manipulators rely on confusion and distractions. Stay focused on the facts and ignore their attempts to derail the conversation or issue at hand.
2. Flip the script and challenge them: When they try to twist the situation, don't be afraid to challenge their narrative. Point out inconsistencies in their behavior, and don't let them redefine the truth.
3. Trust your instincts over their lies: Conniving people want you to doubt yourself. Trust your gut, and don't let their version of events replace what you know to be true.
4. Avoid taking the blame for their actions: Manipulators love to shift blame. Recognize when they're trying to make you responsible for their mistakes and refuse to carry that burden.
5. Stand firm and don't back down: When you set a boundary, they will push. Standing firm and holding your ground shows them you are serious and that you value your well-being over their control.
6. Stay clear and confident in what you believe: Your values, beliefs, and experiences matter. Don't let them erode your sense of self. Be clear about what you stand for and don't waver under pressure.

By applying these strategies, you take back the power the manipulator has tried to strip from you. It won't always be easy, but with time and practice, you'll find that their influence over your life begins to fade, and your confidence and strength return.

1. Ignore their tricks and stay focused

Conniving people thrive on creating distractions and confusion. Their tactics often involve throwing out irrelevant details, making accusations, or redirecting conversations to avoid accountability. One of the best defenses against this behavior is to simply ignore their tricks and remain focused on the core issue. When you keep your attention on what truly matters, you strip them of their ability to derail the conversation or manipulate the outcome.

They may try to provoke an emotional response, knowing that once you're upset or defensive, you're easier to control. But when you stay calm and stick to the facts, you take away their power. Keep bringing the conversation back to the central point, and don't get sidetracked by their attempts to stir up drama. This method of staying grounded in reality helps you maintain control and assertiveness, no matter how hard they try to throw you off course.

Remember, the goal of a manipulator is often to confuse and exhaust you. By staying laser-focused on the facts and your own priorities, you make it harder for them to influence your decisions or emotions. It's about mentally stepping back from the chaos they create and keeping a clear head.

2. Flip the script and challenge them

Manipulators rely on you playing along with their narrative. One of the most effective ways to disrupt their control is to flip the script by challenging their version of events. Conniving individuals are used to getting away with their manipulations because they assume no one will call them out. By directly confronting inconsistencies or contradictions in their behavior, you force them into an uncomfortable position where they can't maintain the facade.

This doesn't mean you need to engage in a heated argument or confrontation. Instead, calmly and assertively point out the contradictions in their statements or actions. Ask questions that expose their lies or manipulative tactics. For example, if they've made a promise they didn't keep, bring it up directly: “You said this would happen by now, but it hasn't. Why is that?” This kind of direct questioning puts them on the defensive, as they're forced to justify or explain themselves.

Flipping the script is about reclaiming control of the conversation. When you challenge them, you break the pattern of passive acceptance that they count on. This not only disrupts their power over you but also sets a new precedent for how they can expect to interact with you going forward. It's a powerful tool that can shift the dynamics in your favor.

3. Trust your instincts over their lies

One of the most destructive effects of dealing with a conniving person is how they make you doubt your own instincts. They use lies, half-truths, and manipulations to distort reality, making you question what you know to be true. Over time, you might find yourself second-guessing your decisions, your perceptions, and even your memories. This erosion of trust in yourself is exactly what they want—it makes you easier to control.

However, deep down, your instincts often know the truth before your mind can fully process it. When something feels off, trust that feeling. Don't allow their manipulations to overwrite your gut reactions. Pay attention to the red flags, even when they try to explain them away. Often, the discomfort or confusion you feel around a manipulative person is your intuition alerting you to their deceptive tactics.

Psychologist Gavin de Becker, in his book The Gift of Fear, emphasizes the importance of trusting our instincts when dealing with manipulative or dangerous individuals. He writes, “Intuition is always right in at least two important ways; it is always in response to something, and it always has your best interest at heart.” Following your instincts means believing in your ability to sense when someone is trying to deceive or control you.

By learning to trust yourself again, you can break free from the constant doubt that manipulators try to instill. Your instincts are a powerful defense mechanism, and in many cases, they'll guide you toward the truth faster than logic ever could.

4. Avoid taking the blame for their actions

Conniving people are experts at deflecting responsibility and placing blame on others. When something goes wrong, they'll twist the situation to make it seem like it's your fault, even if they're the one who created the problem. This tactic, known as blame-shifting, is designed to protect their ego while undermining your confidence and sense of self-worth.

You might find yourself apologizing for things that aren't your fault, or feeling guilty for not meeting impossible expectations they've set. This is all part of their plan to keep you under their control. When you start to internalize their blame, it's easy to lose sight of what's actually happening, and before long, you may begin to believe that you're the problem.

Recognizing this tactic is crucial to avoiding the emotional trap they set. When they try to shift the blame, pause and reflect on the situation objectively. Ask yourself, “Is this really my fault, or are they trying to make me responsible for their behavior?” More often than not, you'll find that they are attempting to absolve themselves of accountability by placing the burden on you.

Standing your ground and refusing to accept blame for their actions is an essential step toward breaking free from their manipulative control. You are not responsible for their mistakes, failures, or shortcomings, and it's important to remind yourself of that whenever they attempt to make you feel otherwise.

5. Stand firm and don't back down

Manipulators are relentless when it comes to testing your boundaries. The moment you establish a limit, they'll push against it, hoping you'll waver or give in to their demands. This is a critical moment in dealing with a conniving person—it's when you must stand firm and not back down. They thrive on breaking your resolve, but the more you hold your ground, the more difficult it becomes for them to manipulate you.

It's not just about saying “no,” though that's certainly part of it. It's about maintaining your stance despite their attempts to guilt, shame, or provoke you into giving in. Conniving individuals often resort to emotional manipulation, hoping that by making you feel bad, they can wear down your defenses. But when you remain unwavering in your position, you send a powerful message: you value your own needs and well-being over their control tactics.

This doesn't mean you have to engage in confrontational battles every time. Sometimes, standing firm is simply about refusing to participate in their games. For example, if they try to draw you into an argument designed to throw you off balance, you can calmly state your position and refuse to engage further. Staying calm and resolute shows that you won't be easily manipulated or swayed.

Remember, every time you stand firm, you weaken their hold on you. It takes practice and confidence, but each small victory builds your strength and resilience.

6. Stay clear and confident in what you believe

Manipulators often seek to erode your confidence, making you question your values, beliefs, and decisions. Over time, you may start to doubt your own sense of what's right and wrong, simply because they've repeatedly challenged or belittled your perspective. But staying clear and confident in what you believe is one of the most powerful tools you have against their influence.

When you're clear about your values, it becomes much harder for someone to manipulate you into acting against them. Conniving people will try to create confusion, blurring the lines between right and wrong to benefit themselves. They might make you feel unreasonable for standing by your principles, but this is just another form of manipulation. Staying true to what you know is right helps you maintain a strong sense of self in the face of their tactics.

Confidence in your beliefs also builds emotional resilience. The more secure you are in your values, the less you'll feel the need to seek approval or validation from the manipulator. You won't be as easily swayed by their attempts to undermine you, and you'll feel empowered to make decisions that align with your true self, rather than what they want.

Staying clear and confident doesn't mean you won't face moments of doubt. It's natural to question yourself at times, especially when dealing with someone who constantly tries to chip away at your self-esteem. But by regularly affirming your core beliefs and values, you can strengthen your internal compass and resist their attempts to lead you astray.

Breaking Free: Letting Go of the Fear of Abandonment

One of the most powerful tools manipulators use is the fear of abandonment. They know that by making you feel like you need them—whether emotionally, financially, or socially—they can keep you under their control. The idea of losing them, despite their toxic behavior, can feel terrifying. However, breaking free requires letting go of this fear and realizing that you're better off without their influence in your life.

This fear of abandonment often stems from our deep-rooted human need for connection and belonging. Manipulators exploit this need by making you feel dependent on them, whether through subtle threats of leaving or by convincing you that no one else will support you. But the truth is, their presence isn't a source of real connection—it's a barrier to your personal growth and well-being.

Letting go of this fear means understanding that you don't need their approval or validation to be whole. It's about shifting your focus from what you stand to lose by cutting ties to what you'll gain—peace, freedom, and the ability to reclaim your own life. Once you recognize that their absence creates space for healthier relationships and self-love, the fear of abandonment will no longer have power over you.

Breaking free isn't easy, but it's an essential step in your journey toward emotional independence. It's important to remind yourself that you are enough, just as you are, and that true support and love come from those who respect and uplift you—not those who manipulate and control you.

How To Stay Resilient: Psychological Tools for Empowerment

Building resilience in the face of manipulation is crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional health. Resilience doesn't mean being unaffected by the challenges of dealing with a manipulative person; rather, it's the ability to bounce back, grow stronger, and protect yourself from further harm. Empowerment starts with developing psychological tools that help you regain control over your life and safeguard your well-being.

One of the most effective tools for building resilience is self-awareness. By becoming more attuned to your emotions, thoughts, and triggers, you can recognize when someone is trying to manipulate you. This awareness allows you to respond from a place of strength, rather than reacting out of fear or confusion. Journaling, meditation, or therapy can all help you develop a deeper understanding of your emotional responses, making it easier to set boundaries and protect your mental space.

Another key tool is practicing assertiveness. Standing up for yourself and clearly expressing your needs and boundaries is essential when dealing with a manipulator. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you're used to people-pleasing or avoiding conflict, but assertiveness is a skill that can be developed over time. Start small, and gradually increase your comfort with advocating for yourself.

Finally, building a strong support network is one of the most important ways to stay resilient. Surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you and offer genuine support can counterbalance the negative effects of manipulation. Whether through friends, family, or a therapist, having a safe space to process your experiences and receive encouragement will help you stay grounded and empowered.

By cultivating these psychological tools, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with facing a manipulative person. Resilience isn't about avoiding hardship—it's about navigating it with strength and clarity, knowing that you have the power to protect your peace and well-being.

Conclusion: Taking Control of Your Mental Wellbeing

Dealing with a conniving person can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but reclaiming control of your mental well-being is not only possible—it's essential. Understanding the tactics they use, from manipulation and blame-shifting to emotional punishment, is the first step toward freeing yourself from their influence. As you begin to set boundaries, trust your instincts, and regain confidence in your beliefs, their grip on you will weaken.

It's important to remember that your mental health should always be a priority. Manipulative individuals thrive on creating chaos, but by focusing on your own well-being, you can create a life that is built on peace, resilience, and emotional clarity. This process takes time, and there will be moments of doubt, but with each step forward, you'll grow stronger.

Taking control of your mental health isn't just about breaking free from a manipulator's influence—it's about reclaiming your sense of self. By surrounding yourself with supportive people, practicing self-care, and developing emotional resilience, you empower yourself to live a life that isn't dictated by someone else's agenda.

Remember, your well-being is worth protecting, and you have the strength to overcome the challenges of dealing with conniving people. It's not about being unaffected by their behavior, but about recognizing their manipulation and refusing to let it control you. You have the power to take back your peace, reclaim your confidence, and create healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Recommended Resources

• In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by Dr. George Simon
• The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker
• Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend