5 Major Signs You Might Be a Socially Awkward Guy (And How to Fix It)

Key Takeaways:

• Social awkwardness affects daily interactions.
• Overthinking makes situations harder.
• Small circles are common for awkward people.
• Awkward silences signal social anxiety.
• Growth comes through awareness and practice.

Why Does Social Awkwardness Matter?

Social awkwardness can feel like a constant, unwelcome companion in everyday life. It leaves us questioning every interaction, every pause, every conversation. You might think it's just something you'll outgrow, but social discomfort has deeper roots. It's more than simply feeling "off" in public; it's about how we see ourselves and how we believe others see us.

One of the main reasons social awkwardness matters is because it impacts both personal and professional relationships. You might have had moments where you struggled to fit in at work, or perhaps you're nervous in social settings, unsure of how to break the ice. Often, these moments feel isolating. But here's the thing—social awkwardness isn't a permanent state. We can overcome it, bit by bit.

Experts like Dr. Aziz Gazipura have written extensively about how social anxiety can distort our view of interactions: "The biggest reason people get stuck in social anxiety is not understanding that they can actually grow and change." The first step? Awareness.

The Elevator Dilemma

Imagine this: you're in an elevator with a group of people. The space feels tight, and you can almost hear the silence. Do you say something? Should you acknowledge the others? Your mind races, overanalyzing every possible outcome. Sound familiar?

We call this the 'elevator dilemma' because it encapsulates that paralyzing awkwardness we feel in confined spaces where social norms are ambiguous. Do I speak? Do I just stare at the floor? What if I say something weird? This is social anxiety creeping in.

Psychologically, the tension stems from overthinking. When we're socially awkward, our brain's default response in these scenarios is to try to predict and control how others perceive us. Overthinking becomes a safety mechanism, though it often leads to more discomfort. Ironically, it creates the very awkwardness we're trying to avoid.

If you've been in an elevator like this, you know the mental gymnastics that come with simply existing in a shared space. And while it's tempting to stay quiet, finding small ways to break the ice can shift the mood and lessen the tension.

Overthinking Everything: The Social Maze

Overthinking can feel like you're stuck in a mental maze—every turn leads to more confusion. You might replay past conversations over and over, worrying about how you came across. Did I say something weird? Was that joke inappropriate? These are common thoughts for anyone who feels socially awkward, and the cycle can be exhausting.

In social settings, overthinking creates a barrier. Instead of focusing on the conversation, we're stuck in our heads, analyzing every facial expression and gesture. It's almost like walking through a maze with no clear way out. The deeper you go, the harder it is to escape. We start imagining worst-case scenarios, assuming people are judging us or thinking less of us. This hyper-awareness amplifies the awkwardness.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) suggests that overthinking stems from cognitive distortions—patterns of thinking that reinforce anxiety. When you catch yourself spiraling in the social maze, remind yourself that most of your thoughts are based on assumptions, not reality.

The Art of Awkward Silences

We've all been there—the dreaded awkward silence. You're in a conversation, and suddenly, the talking stops. The pause feels like an eternity, and you scramble to think of something, anything, to say. But the silence stretches, and you start panicking. This is the art of awkward silences, and mastering it isn't easy.

Awkward silences often trigger social anxiety because, in that moment, we believe the silence reflects something wrong with us. But here's the truth: silence in conversation is natural. It's a part of the ebb and flow of communication. However, socially awkward individuals tend to view these pauses as uncomfortable, leading to more tension.

It's important to remember that silence doesn't always need to be filled. If you can learn to sit with it, you'll notice that others are often just as uncomfortable, which actually levels the playing field. In fact, giving people space during conversation can make you seem more thoughtful and composed.

As psychologist Susan Cain explains in her book Quiet, "We don't always need to fill every gap with words; sometimes, silence speaks louder." Next time you find yourself in an awkward pause, instead of rushing to fill it, try embracing it.

Fake Laughs—A Survival Skill?

You've been in this situation: someone cracks a joke that you don't find particularly funny, but instead of staying silent, you let out a small, polite laugh. It's fake, but it helps ease the tension. Fake laughs are a common survival skill for socially awkward people. They act as a social lubricant, smoothing over those bumpy, uncomfortable moments. But why do we do it?

Fake laughing is a way to fit in, to signal that we're part of the group. In social settings, laughter is a form of bonding, and we use it to avoid standing out. But when you rely on fake laughs too often, it can feel draining. You start to wonder if people notice—or worse, if they're faking their laughs, too. This dynamic only deepens the sense of disconnect.

While fake laughter may save you from immediate awkwardness, it can also reinforce the idea that you need to be someone else to be accepted. The next time you find yourself forcing a chuckle, pause and ask: am I trying to belong or just avoiding discomfort? True connections come from authentic reactions, even if they involve a few silent moments instead of laughs.

Public Speaking? Not Today!

If you've ever broken into a cold sweat at the thought of speaking in front of a group, you're not alone. Public speaking is a major source of anxiety for many, and for socially awkward people, it can feel like a nightmare. All eyes on you, every word you say scrutinized. It's no wonder the mere thought of it sends your heart racing.

Many of us associate public speaking with being judged. You're worried about messing up, looking silly, or forgetting your words altogether. The pressure to perform perfectly heightens your social anxiety, making it even harder to find your voice. You start stumbling over words, losing your train of thought, and before you know it, the awkwardness sets in.

The good news? Most of these fears are self-imposed. Studies show that audiences are more forgiving than we think, often focusing on the overall message rather than every individual flaw. Psychologist Albert Mehrabian famously demonstrated that 93% of communication is non-verbal—so, your body language and tone often matter more than your exact words.

Instead of focusing on perfection, focus on connecting. Speak from your heart, embrace the nerves, and remind yourself that it's okay to be imperfect. Everyone in the audience has been there before, and most are rooting for you to succeed.

Called 'Too Intense'? Let's Decode That

Have you ever been told you're "too intense"? Maybe it's the way you talk about your interests or how passionate you get in discussions. While passion is a great trait, for socially awkward people, this can often come across as overwhelming. Intensity in conversation can sometimes make others feel uncomfortable, leaving you to wonder if you're the problem.

When someone tells you that you're "too intense," it's important not to take it as a personal flaw. Instead, consider it a reflection of how your enthusiasm might be perceived in the moment. Socially awkward individuals tend to struggle with reading social cues, and as a result, they can dive into topics headfirst without realizing that others might not be on the same wavelength. This doesn't mean you should dial back who you are—just become more aware of the flow of the conversation.

Social intensity often stems from a deep desire to connect. You want to be understood and share what excites you, which is a good thing. But finding the balance between expressing yourself and being mindful of others' engagement can help prevent those uncomfortable situations where you come off as "too much." Remember, intensity is only an issue if it's unreciprocated, and learning to read social cues takes practice.

Your Circle Is Small, But Strong

If you're socially awkward, chances are you don't have a large group of friends. And that's okay! Socially awkward individuals often find comfort in smaller, more intimate social circles. Large gatherings or social events can feel overwhelming, so sticking to a close-knit group of friends who truly understand you can feel like a safe haven.

The beauty of a small social circle is the depth of connection you can foster. These are the people who get you, quirks and all. With fewer people to worry about impressing, the pressure to be socially “on” is lifted, allowing you to relax and be yourself. This sense of security makes these friendships incredibly meaningful.

However, there's a fine line between comfort and avoidance. While having a small circle is perfectly healthy, it's important not to retreat entirely from social interactions outside of that circle. Expanding your social skills, even in small doses, can help you feel more at ease in larger settings without compromising the quality of your close friendships.

As Brene Brown, a leading expert on vulnerability, writes: "Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives." Whether your circle is large or small, what matters most is the strength of the connection.

5 Signs of a Socially Awkward Guy

Social awkwardness can be tricky to identify in yourself, but there are some common signs that many socially awkward guys tend to display. Here are five key indicators that you might be dealing with social discomfort:

1. Overthinking every interaction: You often replay conversations in your head, analyzing every word and wondering if you said something wrong.
2. Avoiding eye contact: Maintaining eye contact feels uncomfortable, and you tend to look away, making you appear disinterested or nervous.
3. Struggling with small talk: Casual conversations feel forced, and you find it hard to know what to say beyond the basics.
4. Frequently misreading social cues: You might struggle to pick up on subtle signals in conversations, such as when it's time to speak or stay silent.
5. Preferring solitude over social gatherings: Large social events can feel overwhelming, so you often choose to stay in rather than interact with others.

If any of these sound familiar, don't worry—you're not alone. These signs simply point to areas where you might feel less confident socially. The good news is, with awareness and practice, you can become more comfortable in these situations.

What's Next? Overcoming Awkwardness

Now that you've recognized the signs of social awkwardness, the question is: what's next? The journey to overcoming social discomfort isn't about becoming the most charismatic person in the room. It's about finding comfort in who you are and gradually building the confidence to connect with others authentically.

The first step is self-compassion. Understand that awkward moments happen to everyone, and they don't define you. Rather than beating yourself up over a conversation that didn't go perfectly, learn from it and move forward. As social anxiety expert Ellen Hendriksen advises, "Awkwardness is a state, not a trait. It's something that happens, not something you are." Let that sink in.

Start small. Push yourself gently out of your comfort zone by engaging in short, manageable social interactions. Practice active listening, maintain eye contact, and give yourself permission to embrace pauses in conversation. Each small win builds your confidence.

Lastly, remember that social skills are just that—skills. They take time and practice to develop. With each step, you'll find yourself becoming more comfortable in social situations, and in turn, your awkwardness will begin to fade into the background. The goal is not perfection, but progress.

Conclusion: Embrace Growth, Not Shame

Social awkwardness can feel like a weight that's constantly pulling you down, making you second-guess yourself at every turn. But it's crucial to remember that awkwardness is not a reflection of your worth or potential. It's simply a sign that you're human, navigating the complexities of social interaction like the rest of us.

Rather than shaming yourself for moments of discomfort, embrace them as opportunities for growth. Every awkward silence, forced laugh, or overanalyzed conversation is a stepping stone toward better understanding yourself and others. These experiences teach you resilience and help you fine-tune your social skills over time.

Don't aim for perfection—strive for progress. Learning to be comfortable in social settings is a journey, and each small step forward is a victory worth celebrating. And while you may never completely eliminate awkward moments, you can learn to handle them with grace and confidence.

As the great Brené Brown once said, "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." It's in those moments of awkwardness and vulnerability that we truly grow.

Recommended Resources

• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
• The Solution to Social Anxiety: Break Free From the Shyness That Holds You Back by Dr. Aziz Gazipura
• How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety by Ellen Hendriksen