15 Empowering Phrases to Say When You Talk to Yourself (You'll Be Amazed!)

Key Takeaways:

• Self-talk shapes your mental health.
• Positive self-talk boosts self-esteem.
• Kindness in self-talk is crucial.
• Language impacts your inner dialogue.
• Practice mindful and supportive phrases.

The Power of Self-Talk

Have you ever caught yourself in a spiral of negative thoughts, only to realize later how much it affected your mood? That's the power of self-talk. The way we speak to ourselves, whether in quiet moments of reflection or in response to challenges, can either uplift us or pull us down. We all engage in self-talk, but not all of us do it in a way that serves us. The words we choose, the tone we adopt, and the messages we repeat can shape our mental landscape. But here's the good news: you have the power to change it.

In this article, we're diving deep into the world of self-talk. We'll explore why it matters so much, how you can harness it for good, and specific phrases that can transform your internal dialogue. Whether you're trying to boost your confidence, recover from setbacks, or just navigate everyday life with a bit more grace, the right self-talk can be a game-changer. So, let's take this journey together and discover what to say when you talk to yourself.

Why Self-Talk Matters

Your self-talk isn't just background noise; it's a running commentary on your life that can significantly impact your mental health and well-being. Studies show that the way we speak to ourselves can influence our mood, stress levels, and even our behavior. When our self-talk is positive and supportive, it helps build self-esteem and resilience, making it easier to face life's challenges.

On the flip side, negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive. It's like having a constant critic in your head, always ready to point out your flaws and failures. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that's hard to break. That's why it's so important to pay attention to the words you use when you talk to yourself. By cultivating positive self-talk, you can create a mental environment that supports your growth and happiness.

How Our Inner Dialogues Are Shaped

Our inner dialogues don't just appear out of nowhere—they are shaped by a complex mix of influences, both external and internal. From a young age, the words we hear from those around us—parents, teachers, peers—start to weave themselves into the fabric of our self-talk. If you grew up in an environment where encouragement and support were abundant, your inner dialogue might naturally lean toward positivity. But if criticism or negativity dominated, you may find yourself battling harsher self-talk.

Psychologists often refer to this as the internalization of external voices. Over time, these voices become our own, dictating how we view ourselves and our place in the world. It's not just the words themselves but the tone and intent behind them that matter. For example, if you were often told to “try harder” or “not be lazy,” your inner dialogue might push you relentlessly, never allowing you to rest or feel satisfied with your efforts.

But it's not all set in stone. Understanding the origins of your self-talk is the first step toward reshaping it. You can choose to adopt new, more supportive narratives that serve you better. With conscious effort, you can turn that inner critic into an inner coach.

The Role of Kindness in Self-Talk

Kindness isn't just something we should show to others; it's also essential in how we speak to ourselves. When we approach our self-talk with kindness, we create a nurturing mental environment where we can grow and thrive. Think about it—how much easier is it to push through a challenge when you have someone cheering you on, even if that someone is yourself?

Research shows that self-compassion, which includes speaking kindly to oneself, is linked to greater emotional resilience and well-being. It helps us recover from setbacks more quickly and reduces the impact of stress. In contrast, harsh self-criticism can lead to a spiral of negative emotions and self-doubt, making it harder to bounce back from difficulties.

So the next time you catch yourself in a moment of self-criticism, try to pause and reframe your thoughts with kindness. Instead of thinking, “I always mess things up,” you might say, “I'm doing my best, and that's enough.” It's a small shift, but it can make a world of difference in how you feel and how you handle challenges.

15 Things You Need to Tell Yourself

Our minds are constantly buzzing with thoughts, and the way we talk to ourselves in those moments can make all the difference. Positive, affirming self-talk isn't just about wishful thinking—it's about setting the tone for how you navigate life's ups and downs. Here are 15 powerful things you need to start telling yourself every day. These aren't just words; they are beliefs that, when repeated, can reshape your self-image and how you approach the world.

Imagine how your day would change if you began it with, “I believe in you,” or if you faced challenges with the mantra, “I am strong enough.” These statements might feel unfamiliar or even awkward at first, but with practice, they can become second nature. Let's explore each of these affirmations and understand how they can empower you to live a life full of confidence, self-compassion, and purpose.

These 15 phrases are more than just words—they are tools for cultivating a mindset that supports your goals, strengthens your resilience, and reinforces your worth. Let's delve into each one, understanding not just what to say, but why these statements matter so much in the journey of self-talk.

1. I Believe in You

Believing in yourself might sound cliché, but it's the cornerstone of self-confidence and achievement. When you say, “I believe in you,” it's more than just a pep talk—it's a declaration of trust in your abilities, your potential, and your resilience. Think about it: If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect others to? This phrase isn't just for moments of doubt; it's for every day. It's a reminder that you have what it takes to face challenges, to pursue your dreams, and to overcome obstacles.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, in his book Your Erroneous Zones, writes, “You are the sum total of your thoughts.” If those thoughts are full of doubt and fear, they will manifest in your actions, or lack thereof. But if you consistently tell yourself, “I believe in you,” you start to internalize that belief. It becomes a part of your mental framework, guiding your decisions and actions in a positive direction.

Start each day with this affirmation, and watch how your confidence grows. When you hit a roadblock, repeat it to yourself, and notice how your mindset shifts from one of fear to one of determination.

2. I'm Responsible for My Life

Taking responsibility for your life is a powerful statement. When you tell yourself, “I'm responsible for my life,” you're acknowledging that you have control over your actions, your decisions, and ultimately, your destiny. This isn't about blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong, but rather, it's about embracing the power you have to shape your own path.

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of owning our stories. She writes, “When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.” By taking responsibility for your life, you're owning your story—every chapter, every page, and every word. This mindset empowers you to make changes, to take action, and to pursue what truly matters to you.

It can be daunting to take full responsibility, especially when things don't go as planned. But this affirmation isn't about perfection; it's about empowerment. It's about recognizing that while you can't control everything that happens to you, you can control how you respond. And that makes all the difference.

3. I Am Loved

One of the most comforting and empowering truths you can tell yourself is, “I am loved.” It's a reminder that you are not alone, that you matter, and that there are people who care about you deeply. In a world that often feels chaotic and isolating, this affirmation can be a beacon of light. Love is a powerful force—it sustains us, heals us, and gives our lives meaning. Whether it comes from family, friends, or a partner, love is a constant in your life, even if you don't always see it.

When you affirm that you are loved, you're also reinforcing the idea that you are worthy of love. This is crucial because our self-worth is often tied to how we perceive others view us. If you start to believe that you are unloved or unlovable, it can spiral into feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. But by reminding yourself daily that “I am loved,” you build a foundation of self-worth that doesn't depend on external validation. You begin to see that love is not just something you receive, but something you inherently deserve.

Hold onto this affirmation, especially in moments of doubt or fear. It's a powerful antidote to the negative thoughts that can sometimes cloud your mind. You are loved, and that truth can guide you through the darkest of times.

4. I Did It for Love

Motivation can come from many places, but when it's rooted in love, it becomes something far more profound. Telling yourself, “I did it for love,” is an affirmation that speaks to your deepest values and priorities. It's about recognizing that love—whether for yourself, for others, or for your passions—is a driving force behind your actions.

In a world that often prioritizes success, wealth, and recognition, it's easy to lose sight of why we do what we do. But when you remind yourself that you acted out of love, you reaffirm that your decisions are aligned with your values. This can bring a sense of peace and fulfillment that is far more satisfying than any external reward.

Sometimes, the choices we make out of love are the hardest ones. They may require sacrifice, courage, or vulnerability. But these are the choices that define us. As the poet Rumi said, “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” When you follow the path of love, you are true to yourself and to what matters most.

So, the next time you question a decision or feel uncertain about the path you're on, ask yourself, “Did I do this for love?” If the answer is yes, then you know you're on the right track.

5. I'm Going After What I Want

There's something incredibly powerful about declaring, “I'm going after what I want.” It's a statement of intent, a commitment to yourself that you won't just sit back and let life happen to you—you're going to make it happen. Whether it's a career goal, a personal dream, or simply a desire to live a more fulfilling life, this affirmation is about taking charge and pursuing your passions with determination.

Going after what you want doesn't mean everything will be easy or that you won't face setbacks. In fact, the path may be filled with challenges. But this affirmation is about embracing those challenges as part of the journey. It's about recognizing that your desires are valid and worth pursuing, no matter how big or small they may seem to others.

When you tell yourself, “I'm going after what I want,” you're also giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs and desires. It's an acknowledgment that your happiness and fulfillment are important. In the words of author Paulo Coelho, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” This belief can fuel your drive and keep you focused on your goals, even when the road gets tough.

So, don't hold back. Embrace this affirmation and take those bold steps toward the life you truly want. You owe it to yourself to chase after your dreams with everything you've got.

6. My Instincts Are Right

Trusting your instincts can be one of the most empowering things you do for yourself. When you say, “My instincts are right,” you're affirming that inner voice that guides you, even when logic and reason might suggest otherwise. Instincts are those gut feelings, the immediate reactions you have to situations, people, or decisions. They come from a place deep within, often informed by your past experiences, subconscious knowledge, and emotional intelligence.

We've all had moments where we've doubted our instincts, only to look back and realize that our gut was right all along. This affirmation is about building trust in yourself, in your ability to sense what's right for you. It's a recognition that you have an innate wisdom that's worth listening to, even when others might not see it the same way.

Of course, instincts aren't infallible. But more often than not, they are a reflection of your true self—your values, your fears, your desires. When you trust them, you're being true to who you are. As Oprah Winfrey once said, “Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself.” It's about having the courage to listen to that inner voice, especially in moments of uncertainty or doubt.

By repeating this affirmation, “My instincts are right,” you reinforce your confidence in your own judgment. You learn to navigate life with a sense of self-assuredness that can only come from within. Trust yourself—you know more than you think you do.

7. It Doesn't Hurt if I Try

Taking risks can be intimidating. The fear of failure often holds us back, keeping us stuck in our comfort zones. But when you tell yourself, “It doesn't hurt if I try,” you're opening up to the possibility of growth and change. This affirmation is a gentle nudge to take that leap, to attempt something new, even if the outcome is uncertain. After all, every great achievement begins with the decision to try.

The truth is, trying doesn't always lead to success, but it always leads to learning. Each time you step out of your comfort zone, you expand your horizons and gain valuable experiences. Even if things don't go as planned, you'll have the knowledge that you gave it your best shot, and that in itself is a victory. As the famous saying goes, “You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” Trying is the first step toward achieving anything meaningful in life.

So, the next time you're hesitating, remind yourself that it doesn't hurt to try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by taking action, no matter how small. This simple affirmation can shift your mindset from one of fear to one of possibility, encouraging you to embrace new opportunities with confidence.

8. I Deserve Better

Understanding and accepting that you deserve better is a powerful affirmation. It's about recognizing your worth and refusing to settle for less than you deserve—whether in relationships, work, or personal goals. “I deserve better” is a declaration of self-respect and self-love, a reminder that your well-being should never be compromised for the sake of convenience or fear of change.

Many of us stay in situations that don't serve us because we've been conditioned to believe that we should be grateful for what we have, or that asking for more is somehow selfish. But this couldn't be further from the truth. You deserve to be treated with respect, to be in environments that uplift you, and to pursue what makes you truly happy. As Maya Angelou famously said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”

This affirmation is also about empowerment. When you believe that you deserve better, you're more likely to make decisions that align with your values and aspirations. You're more willing to walk away from toxic situations and seek out what truly fulfills you. It's a mindset that encourages you to advocate for yourself and prioritize your needs.

Repeat this affirmation often, especially when you find yourself in situations that make you feel less than you are. “I deserve better” is not just a statement—it's a commitment to your own happiness and well-being. Embrace it, and watch how your life begins to change for the better.

9. I Am Strong Enough

Life is full of challenges, and sometimes, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. In those moments, reminding yourself, “I am strong enough,” can be a lifeline. Strength isn't just about physical endurance; it's about emotional and mental resilience. It's the ability to keep moving forward, even when the odds are stacked against you. This affirmation is a powerful reminder that you have within you the strength to overcome whatever comes your way.

It's easy to doubt your strength when faced with adversity, but it's important to remember that strength isn't about never falling—it's about getting back up each time you do. Every challenge you've faced and overcome has added to your resilience, making you stronger than you were before. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” This is not just a platitude; it's a testament to the incredible power of human perseverance.

When you say, “I am strong enough,” you're not just acknowledging your past victories—you're also preparing yourself for the future. It's a statement of faith in your ability to handle whatever comes next, no matter how difficult it may seem. You are strong enough to face today, tomorrow, and every day after that.

10. I'm Allowed to Speak Up

Your voice matters. It's easy to feel silenced or overlooked in a world that often values conformity over individuality, but the truth is, you have every right to speak up. Telling yourself, “I'm allowed to speak up,” is an affirmation of your right to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It's about claiming your space in conversations, in relationships, and in life.

Too often, we hold back out of fear—fear of being judged, fear of causing conflict, or fear of being wrong. But staying silent can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment. Your voice is a powerful tool for change, whether it's advocating for yourself, standing up for others, or simply sharing your perspective. In the words of Audre Lorde, “Your silence will not protect you.” Speaking up is how you assert your presence in the world and make your needs known.

This affirmation is particularly important for those who have been conditioned to believe that their opinions don't matter, or that it's safer to stay quiet. But silence comes at a cost, and it often means sacrificing your own well-being for the comfort of others. By reminding yourself that you're allowed to speak up, you're giving yourself permission to be heard and to stand up for what you believe in.

So, don't be afraid to raise your voice. Whether it's in a personal conversation or a public forum, your words have power. Embrace this affirmation and make it a point to speak up, even when it feels uncomfortable. Your voice is your strength, and the world needs to hear it.

11. I Am Grateful

Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions you can cultivate. When you tell yourself, “I am grateful,” you're shifting your focus from what's lacking in your life to what's already abundant. This simple yet profound affirmation can transform your outlook, making even the smallest joys feel significant. Gratitude doesn't just make you feel good in the moment—it has lasting effects on your mental and emotional well-being.

By practicing gratitude, you train your mind to notice the positives in your life. This doesn't mean ignoring challenges or pretending that everything is perfect. Instead, it's about recognizing that, even in the midst of difficulties, there are still things to be thankful for. As Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, notes, “Gratitude is a recognition that life owes me nothing, and all the good I have is a gift.” This mindset helps you build resilience, appreciate the present, and maintain a sense of balance, no matter what you're going through.

Each day, take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for, whether it's something as simple as a warm cup of coffee or as profound as the love of a friend. This practice can help you cultivate a more positive, contented life, filled with appreciation for the people and experiences that enrich your world.

12. I Deserve to Let Go of What's Hurting Me

Holding on to pain, whether it's from past experiences, toxic relationships, or lingering regrets, can weigh heavily on your heart. Telling yourself, “I deserve to let go of what's hurting me,” is an affirmation of your right to heal and move forward. Letting go isn't about forgetting or dismissing what happened; it's about freeing yourself from the grip of pain so you can live more fully in the present.

Many of us struggle with letting go because we fear it means losing a part of ourselves or that it somehow invalidates our experiences. But in truth, holding on to pain keeps us stuck, preventing us from growing and evolving. As Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh wisely said, “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.”

This affirmation is about granting yourself permission to release the burdens that no longer serve you. It's about recognizing that you have the right to peace and that letting go is a crucial step in that journey. Whether it's forgiving someone who hurt you or releasing the guilt of past mistakes, letting go is an act of self-compassion and strength.

Embrace this affirmation, and allow yourself to unburden your heart. You deserve to live a life that isn't overshadowed by past pain, but instead, is filled with hope, healing, and new beginnings.

13. I Am Important

In a world that often values busyness and productivity over individual well-being, it's easy to forget that your existence alone is valuable. Telling yourself, “I am important,” is a powerful reminder that your life has intrinsic worth. This affirmation isn't about seeking validation from others; it's about recognizing your significance in the grand tapestry of life. You matter, not because of what you do or achieve, but simply because you are.

When you affirm your importance, you're acknowledging that your needs, feelings, and experiences are valid. This is especially crucial in situations where you might feel overlooked or undervalued. By repeating this affirmation, you reinforce your right to be heard, to take up space, and to prioritize your own well-being. As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Claiming your importance is about taking back that power.

Remember, your presence makes a difference, even in ways you may not immediately see. Whether it's the kindness you show to others, the creativity you bring to your work, or the love you share with those around you, you are contributing to the world in meaningful ways. Never underestimate the impact of your life. You are important, and the world is better for having you in it.

14. I Am Capable

Confidence in your abilities is crucial for personal growth and success. When you tell yourself, “I am capable,” you're affirming your skills, talents, and the capacity to handle whatever challenges come your way. This affirmation is about more than just believing in your potential—it's about trusting in your proven ability to navigate life's complexities and achieve your goals.

Doubt is a natural part of the human experience, but it's important not to let it overshadow your capabilities. You've faced difficult situations before, and you've come through them. This affirmation is a reminder of all the times you've succeeded, despite the odds. As motivational speaker Les Brown often says, “You are capable of more than you know. Go back and see the things you've already accomplished.”

When you affirm your capability, you're also giving yourself permission to take on new challenges with confidence. It's a declaration that you have what it takes, even if you don't have all the answers right now. Capable doesn't mean perfect—it means being resourceful, resilient, and ready to learn as you go. Each time you repeat this affirmation, you're strengthening your belief in yourself and setting the stage for future successes.

Embrace this belief: “I am capable.” It's a truth that will carry you through the uncertainties of life, empowering you to take bold steps toward your dreams, knowing that you have what it takes to succeed.

15. I Am Making a Difference

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it's easy to feel like your efforts go unnoticed or that what you do doesn't really matter. But the truth is, you are making a difference, often in ways you may not even realize. Telling yourself, “I am making a difference,” is an affirmation that validates your impact on the world around you. Whether it's through your work, your relationships, or the small acts of kindness you show to strangers, you are contributing to something bigger than yourself.

It's important to recognize that making a difference doesn't always involve grand gestures or major accomplishments. Sometimes, it's the little things—the words of encouragement you offer a friend, the patience you show in a difficult situation, or the dedication you bring to your daily tasks—that add up to significant change. Mother Teresa once said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” This perspective helps us understand that every action, no matter how small, has the potential to make a positive impact.

So, whenever you doubt your significance, remind yourself of this affirmation. You are making a difference, simply by being who you are and by choosing to act with intention and compassion. Your contributions matter, and they create ripples that extend far beyond what you can see.

What Productive Self-Talk Is Not

While positive self-talk is a powerful tool for personal growth, it's important to understand what it's not. Productive self-talk isn't about denying reality or sugar-coating your experiences. It's not about ignoring your challenges or pretending that everything is perfect. Instead, it's about being honest with yourself while also being kind and constructive.

Unproductive self-talk, on the other hand, can take many forms. It might be overly critical, focusing only on your flaws and mistakes, or it might be dismissive of your feelings, telling you that you're overreacting or being too sensitive. This type of self-talk often leaves you feeling worse, reinforcing negative beliefs and keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.

It's also important to recognize that productive self-talk isn't just about repeating positive affirmations. It involves a balance between optimism and realism. It's about acknowledging your challenges and setbacks while also encouraging yourself to keep going. As psychologist Albert Ellis noted, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” This approach helps you stay grounded and focused, without falling into the trap of toxic positivity or unrealistic expectations.

Productive self-talk is supportive, honest, and motivating. It empowers you to face your challenges head-on, with the confidence that you can handle whatever comes your way. It's not about denying your reality—it's about embracing it, and believing in your ability to create a better future.

The Impact of External Self-Talk

While much of our self-talk happens internally, the words we speak out loud—what I like to call "external self-talk"—can be just as influential. The things we say about ourselves, even in casual conversation, can reinforce our internal dialogue and solidify our beliefs. For instance, how often have you heard someone say, “I'm just not good at that,” or “I always mess things up”? These statements, when repeated, can become self-fulfilling prophecies, shaping how we see ourselves and how others perceive us.

External self-talk can also be a powerful tool for change. By consciously choosing to speak positively about ourselves, we can begin to shift our internal narratives. Instead of saying, “I can't do this,” try saying, “I'm working on this.” It might seem like a small change, but the impact can be profound. The language we use when talking about ourselves not only influences our own mindset but also sets the tone for how others interact with us.

It's also important to be mindful of how we speak to others about ourselves. Statements like, “I'm so stupid,” or “I'm terrible at this,” might seem harmless, but they reinforce negative self-beliefs. Instead, practice speaking about yourself with the same kindness and respect you would offer a friend. This external self-talk can help you cultivate a more positive self-image and encourage others to see you in the same light.

Remember, your words have power. By being intentional with your external self-talk, you can create a more supportive and empowering environment for yourself, both internally and externally.

5 Habits to Strengthen Healthy Self-Talk

Developing healthy self-talk is a journey that requires practice and consistency. Like any habit, it takes time to cultivate, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Here are five habits that can help you strengthen your self-talk and build a more positive, supportive inner dialogue.

1. Stop Overthinking: Overthinking often leads to negative self-talk. When you find yourself spiraling, take a step back and focus on what you can control. Try grounding techniques, like deep breathing or mindfulness, to help you stay present and avoid getting lost in negative thoughts.
2. Mind Your Language: The words you choose matter. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, and make a conscious effort to use positive, constructive language. Replace phrases like “I can't” with “I'm learning” or “I'll try.”
3. Avoid Negative Talk About Others: How you speak about others often reflects how you feel about yourself. By practicing kindness and avoiding negative talk about others, you can foster a more positive mindset for yourself.
4. Practice Active Listening: Listening to yourself is just as important as listening to others. Take time to tune into your thoughts and feelings, and respond to them with empathy and understanding. This practice can help you become more aware of your self-talk patterns and make positive changes.
5. Take a Moment Before Speaking: Whether you're talking to yourself or someone else, taking a moment to think before you speak can make a big difference. This habit helps you choose your words carefully, ensuring that your self-talk is supportive and aligned with your goals.

Incorporating these habits into your daily life can help you create a healthier, more empowering dialogue with yourself. Remember, the journey to positive self-talk is ongoing, but with practice, you can cultivate a mindset that supports your growth and well-being.