Raising Children

By Margarita Nahapetyan

Raising a child is one of the hardest, most responsible and at the same time very pleasant and satisfying tasks a parent can experience. It is also a full-time job for which people receive the least formal training. Each parent's knowledge of how to raise a child usually comes from their own culture, background and family. This may result in patterns from people's own social experiences being repeated and passed on to their children.

Making decisions about parenting is difficult. There are many of ideas and opinions around, but you never really know what will be good or bad for your child. Once a baby is born, everybody, starting with a family and relatives and ending with just occasional people in the park, will have something to advise. It can be very useful to value other opinions, but parental instinct and knowledge should always come first.

Parents are the most influential role models and examples that children have possibly have. Parents who praise their kids and show respect, kindness, honesty, friendliness, hospitality and generosity in the family, will encourage them to behave in the same way. Children learn a lot about how to behave and cope with situations by copying adults, and that usually means parents. If you don't want your child to become rude or aggressive, do not let him or her see that kind of attitude at home. Parents should always tell their kids how much they love them, as well as provide them with the constant support they need to become confident and happy.

However, while being close and connected to their children, parents should not forget to give them some space and independence at the same time, that will help them to grow and mature in today's world. Children must be taught how to live in it, what to know, whom to trust, who to make friends with, how to proceed to social life, education, religious life and into the raising of their own kids. It is always good to keep the communication lines open.

Very important when bringing up a child is to try not to influence their minds with your own. You simply encourage them to be intelligent, to be aware. Never live your life through your children, never force them to fulfill your own unrealized dreams, never influence or push them with any of your ideas. When it comes to influencing, the teachers will play their role, as well as friends and other sections of society. But still, as a parent, you can play a very important role in allowing the child's intelligence to bloom.

Children respond very well to correction, discipline, talking and explaining, and being treated like the intelligent beings that they are. Many parents these days are afraid to upset their kids and dance around them. They bribe them with toys and sweets, just so the kids are happy, and appoint them, by default, the head of the house. Never reward whining by giving children what they want, this will only make them sure that it is the best way to get their own way.

Truly, children these days like to be told what to do, but also to be told the reasons why. You cannot just give in to everything they want, and it always helps to explain why. Very often the phrase "I want" is really a sign of requiring attention. Give your child a hug and spend a few minutes playing or reading a book together, and you will see that it might be enough, after which your child will probably be left satisfied and happy.

Caring for children requires a lot of energy, strength and effort, and it is impossible to keep a perfect discipline all the time. There will be time when it will get beyond all the limits and borders, and all parents may do things they will later regret. If this happens, simply apologize in front of your child, and reassure him or her that you love them no matter what, and explain that your behavior was not right. This teaches children a good and valuable lesson.

It is also important that parents set reasonable expectations for their children and tell them in a simple and understandable words what is being expected from them. Discipline is very important when bringing up a child. Through discipline your child learns that some kinds of behavior are acceptable and others are not. Setting boundaries for children's behavior helps them to learn how to behave outside their property.

When children want to talk or ask questions, it is necessary to encourage them in doing so. When parents often keep saying that they are busy and try to postpone the conversation for a later time, kids finally may express frustration and stop wanting to share their thoughts and feelings.

When discussing a problem that concerns a child it is important to point at the possible consequences. The possible solution must be found together with a child. Be open to the child's suggestions and take them into consideration. They must participate by all means in the negotiations and the decision. A child who experiences this kind of open and easy communication in the family, will become very confident and learn the rules of good communication.

For any parent, there is always a real struggle over the time. Caring for children, work and all the other chores of family life, makes it difficult to find time for other members of a family. In all the activity, parents very often ask themselves whether it is possible to find few minutes for each other. It is extremely necessary to understand that spending time with each other is one of the most important things when it comes to better family and relationships. Your relationship will be much more valuable and your children are likely to be happier, too.