Knowledge - Parenting & Faith

Excerpted from
The Patience of a Saint: How Faith Can Sustain You During the Tough Times in Parenting
By Charlene C. Giannetti, Margaret Sagarese

Are you the type of person who likes to learn? When introduced to something new, whether it's how to plant a vegetable garden or hit a golf ball, are you willing, even eager, to try it? Or do you react with "Why do I need to learn that? I'm never going to use it"? Has that attitude carried over to your personal relationships? How many opportunities to learn something important about your child have you passed up on because you were unwilling to make the effort? At the time it may not have seemed important to spend that extra twenty minutes tucking her in so that she could tell you about her day. You may have given short shrift to family meals because you were worn out from work. What you may have lost was a meaningful conversation with your son.

Now, of course, you wish you had spent more time listening and learning. Perhaps then you wouldn't be so bewildered by your child. It's crucial to gather knowledge about our adolescents, even though we might not have a clue at the time about how we will use the information we gather. We can look to the life of St. Madeleine Sophie Barat for the truth of that statement. This French saint was the quintessential student, spending her entire life learning everything she could. When she began her education, however, she had no idea how useful her knowledge would be later on. Her destiny was to found in France the first Sacred Heart School, which has grown to a worldwide network.

Madeleine Sophie Barat was born in 1779 in Joigny, France, a town in the northwestern corner of Burgundy. Her father, Jacques, a winemaker, was hardworking and reliable, while her mother, Marie-Madeleine, was better educated. Madeleine Sophie combined the best characteristics of both parents. She was intelligent and ambitious, yet had common sense and was well liked by others.

Her parents' influence was great, but the person within her family who had the greatest effect on her was her brother, Louis, eleven years her senior, who was set on a life in the priesthood. When Madeleine Sophie was barely seven, he began to teach her Bible history, the history of France, grammar, arithmetic, physics, and geometry. He required her to learn Spanish, Italian, Latin, and Greek, including memorizing long passages of Homer and Virgil.

Don't get the idea that Madeleine Sophie was an intellectual snob or nerd. When not being educated by her brother, she could be found carousing with her friends in the vineyards. Still, by the age of ten she had so impressed her pastor that he allowed her to receive Holy Communion-this at a time when children were not allowed to receive this sacrament.

But if all was tranquil inside the Barat household, conditions were tumultuous in France. The antireligious forces in the country had gathered strength and required all members of the clergy to sign a new civil constitution, which would bring the Roman Catholic Church in France under control of the French government. Upon the urging of his family, who feared for his safety, Louis, who was at that time a deacon, signed the paper. Within a few months, however, the pope denounced the paper, Louis recanted his oath, and he was placed in prison.

Louis narrowly escaped death by guillotine and in February 1795 returned to Joigny to be ordained a priest. He found Madeleine Sophie a changed girl. Now fifteen, she had lived through a difficult time. Her family had been forced into hiding several times. During this dark period of her life, she had discovered that only one thing mattered to her: loving and serving God.

Her brother took her to Paris to continue her studies under his direction. With two other young girls, Madeleine Sophie continued her secular studies. Alone, she was put through a much more demanding course in the Scriptures and theology. Mother C. E. Maguire, in her book Saint Madeleine Sophie Barat, says, "It was her familiarity with these that gave such solidity and balance to her own spiritual life and to her later teaching, preserving them from every hint of sentimentality and giving an intellectually sound basis for her devotion."

In 1800, Madeleine Sophie discovered a way to use her knowledge. She met Joseph Varin, a priest whose goal was to set up a society of women who would be devoted to the Sacred Heart and teach girls from the higher classes. His motto was "Courage and confidence!" Fr. Varin encouraged Madeleine Sophie to trust herself and what she knew, to have faith in God and follow where he called.

Fr. Varin's influence also touched Madeleine Sophie in another way. When she first devoted herself to the Sacred Heart, she thought about human beings as sinners. Through Fr. Varin, she learned that she could take the information she possessed, interpret it in a different way, and inspire herself and others to view God's message positively. Instead of seeing God's people as sinners, she was able to think about their redemption. In modern parlance, she was able to view the glass as half full rather than half empty. Madeleine Sophie's upbeat attitude would prove integral to her success as an educator and leader. She encouraged others to view the Sacred Heart as a symbol of Christ's love and compassion. With her guidance, the girls and young women who studied at her school focused not on the fires of hell, but on the fire coming from the Sacred Heart.

Take a page from Madeleine Sophie's textbook when dealing with your child. If your young adolescent has hit a rough patch, she may have destroyed the trust you once had in her. Your tendency may be to always regard events negatively, never finding any positive developments that could signify that things are turning around. Ask for Madeleine Sophie's help that you may try not to judge each situation based on past information. Gather new knowledge and look at the situation with a fresh eye.