Homecoming - Newborn Care

Excerpted from
Baby Prodigy: A Guide to Raising a Smarter, Happier Baby
By Barbara Candiano-Marcus

The day you have dreamed of is finally here: You're taking your new baby home from the hospital. In the final months of your pregnancy, you probably fantasized about this precious time-the peaceful moments you would spend rocking your baby, sipping herbal tea in the spotless nursery. You may have convinced yourself that you'll quickly return to your normal schedule and life now that you and baby are finally home. I know one mother who was quite certain, after leaving the hospital on December 23, four days after a difficult Cesarean delivery, that she could still manage to finish the holiday decorating that had been interrupted by the baby's arrival, including wrapping presents for her five-year-old.

There is nothing more wonderful than coming home with the tiny baby you've been thinking about for the last nine months, but I feel compelled to warn you that if you're like most of us, over the next few hours, days, or weeks, you'll be shaken out of your beautiful daydream and you may have to alter your ambitious plans. I can definitely guarantee-whether this is your first baby or your fourth-there will be times in these early weeks when the reality of your new responsibility overwhelms you. But you don't need to panic. Many others have been exactly where you are now and survived! There are time-tested techniques that will keep you and your baby happy and connected in these early days together.

Some Important Advice for New Parents

To set your newborn on course to being a smarter, happier baby, there is a single piece of advice that it is imperative you follow in the first weeks. And that is to take care of yourself. Accept all offers of help: extra hands, prepared meals, or any other conveniences friends and family may offer. You will need all your strength, both mentally and physically, to be the best parent you can be to your newborn. For the moment, forget all of the clothing and toys and gadgets you received at your baby shower or rushed out and bought in the weeks before the baby was due. Your baby comes out of the womb with an instinct for survival, and for the next few weeks, her needs are simple and repetitive: food, clean clothes, shelter, and, most important, you. So make sure that you're able to be there for her. Simply holding your baby and spending time with her promotes bonding and a sense of security that will comfort and satisfy her. And, as the days pass, you'll gradually be able to establish the patterns of feeding and sleeping that work best for your baby and your family.

Top Three Tips for the First Four Weeks

Make sure you get enough sleep: Newborns sleep from twelve to twenty hours in a twenty-four-hour period, waking and sleeping in short intervals. Since a newborn may want to eat as often as every two hours, take advantage of your baby's sleepy periods and sneak in a nap whenever you are able.

Make sure you get enough nourishment: It is recommended that women who are breast-feeding consume an extra 400 to 500 calories per day beyond the caloric intake necessary to maintain their normal (pre-pregnancy) weight. If you are bottle-feeding your baby, you still need to pay attention to your diet. Eat healthy meals and avoid excess caffeine or sugary treats. Good nutrition will help you maintain your energy level.

Trust your instincts: There are many, many child-care and parenting books; I recommend several that I like later in this chapter. But when it comes down to knowing what will work best for the little person who has entered your life, you must learn to trust your instincts. What is right for your sister's son or your best friend's daughter may not be right for your baby. And what worked for your first baby may not work at all for your second. When you have questions-and you will-consult the library of books from child-care experts or check in with your family, friends, or pediatrician. And after weighing all their good advice, decide what works best for you and your baby.

Bonding with Baby

You have probably heard a lot of talk about "bonding" with your newborn. Bonding is sometimes used interchangeably with the word "attachment," but from a scientific point of view the two terms have distinct meanings. According to scientists, the concept of bonding refers to the tie a parent feels toward an infant. It occurs most naturally during the first hours or days after birth, when the experience of meeting your baby cements your connection with her and you form a permanent bond with this enchanting little individual.

From a scientific point of view, which is distinctly lacking in warm and fuzzy reciprocation, however, your baby does not bond with you! Rather, an infant becomes attached to her caregivers over time. This attachment, which is as much a lifelong commitment as bonding, is based upon the shared interactions that occur over the weeks and months of early childhood.

Scientific definition aside, what you really need to know is that these first four weeks are a critical time during which your baby depends on you to provide the kind of consistent, dependable, responsive care that will allow her to become secure and confident in herself and others. So how can you promote bonding and attachment?

The most important thing you can do during these first few weeks of life is to hold and touch your baby. Don't rely on plastic baby carriers or car seats that double as infant easy chairs. Front carriers and fabric slings make it simple to keep your baby close to you all day long. My daughter Samantha was the most content when she was being held and snuggled, so my husband and I would take turns wearing her in a front pack and carrying her around the house as we tended to our own daily routines. Don't worry about "spoiling" your newborn. Your baby will gradually begin to develop patterns of eating, sleeping, and quiet alertness that will allow you to establish a routine that teaches her how to spend time in an environment other than the crook of your arm.