When the news of your first grandchild arrives, the joy can be overwhelming. You have waited years for this moment, and you are ecstatic that the time has finally come. However, while you may have family and friends who support your newfound status as a grandparent, there may also be someone close to you who is not happy for you. For example, perhaps your friend was hoping to be a grandma before you and may be a bit disappointed that she has yet to receive the same news.
Coping with a friend who is not celebrating this milestone with you can be challenging and hurtful. Nonetheless, it’s important to remember that disappointment over something so monumental is normal and could eventually fizzle out once your friend has had some time to process the news. Moving forward, here are some tips to help both you and your friend find joy in your new grandparenthood status and keep your relationship strong.
Things to Do if Your Friend Isn’t Happy for You
1. Be Understanding and Respectful
Grandparenthood can often be seen as a reminder of one’s mortality and facing these feelings can be difficult and uncomfortable. If this is the case, be understanding and don’t take your friend’s feelings personally. Respect that this is her own journey and try not to pressure her by repeatedly discussing your own joy or adding additional stress or guilt.
2. Consider Sharing Other Joyful Moments
Even if your friend is not ready to fully join in your celebrations at the moment, think about opening up other conversations that do not revolve around your grandparenthood. Instead, look to explore other topics that might bring you both joy and stress less. Ask your friend about her experiences, plans, and interests - even better, go on a nice outing together so that you can both catch up and enjoy each other’s company.
3. Support and Encourage Her
Rather than begrudgingly push away your joy, encourage your friend to try enjoying it when possible. Despite her own anxieties, remind her that life is full of surprises and that she too may experience the joys of grandparenthood before she realizes it. Additionally, work on shifting the conversation to topics that make your friend feel better. Strengthen your bond and support each other through these moments.
4. Spend Quality Time with Grandkids
Include your friend in some of your grandparenting activities whenever she’s ready. By doing this, you can both bond with the little one while enjoying each other’s company. It’s a great opportunity to share laughs, make memories, provide comfort, and protect the love of your circle of friends and family.
5. Don’t Assume the Worst
Above all, give your friend a bit of space to sort out her feelings without making assumptions. You being a grandparent does not necessarily mean that your friendship is ending. Remember that there are many layers in any friendship and that your bond with your friend has likely been built through multiple experiences. With the proper care and support, your friendship should be strong enough to endure this transition and survive any difficulties that may arise.
Finding Joy in Grandparenthood
The joy of becoming a grandparent can be varied and contrary just like any other milestone. There can be immense excitement, jubilation, and anticipation for the future as well as fear, confusion, and worries about one’s health. Remember to take care of your emotional wellbeing by looking to share your joy with others whenever possible. Find healthy outlets to absorb your grandparenting moments and enjoy fostering the relationships between yourself, your loved ones, and your grandkids.
Finding joy in the transition of becoming a grandparent can be a personal and emotional experience. Understand that it takes time, that feelings can be different across one’s circles, and that it is okay to be overwhelmed. Above all, look to strengthen relationships and reach out to your friends who need a bit more time as they come to terms with your news. Celebrate your grandparenthood however you see fit and wish your friend nothing but the best.
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