Everyone comes across people in their lifetime that are unforgettable, someone who stands out among the throng and can move us beyond measure. It could be a colleague, an associate, or even a close friend. Nonetheless, it’s not uncommon to find yourself falling in love with them - but when they are already a part of your inner circle, things become complicated. Is this really the right decision - do I really want to cross this boundary?
If you've ever been in this situation, it can be nightmarish. Despite being out of your control, there are still ways to cope; taking back control and finally surrendering to the realties of life is possible. It’s easier said than done, but gaining closure is necessary for you to keep living.
One important thing to remember is that even when someone has become more than just a friend, that doesn’t make them any less precious. This person might always remain as an important part of your life, regardless of how it ultimately turns out; therefore it's essential that both parties respect each other, no matter the consequences.
At times like this, giving yourself a bit of grace is necessary – don’t be too hard on yourself. In other words, receive moments of pleasure and shared understanding when it's right, but also allow yourself to release the tragedy of knowing that sometimes a real relationship can't work out.
A great way to nurture your heart through the process of letting go, is to treat yourself to some positive experiences. Think of it as practical self-care - go for walks, take yourself out for dinner or spend time with close friends; anything that allows you to feel nourished as you begin letting go of the idea of this specific connection.
You could also seek comfort in the form of art. Whether it's writing, painting, sculpting or playing music (anything really!), this will help you take some space to understand your own perspective and emotions. Edna St. Vincent Millay wrote, “Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud. And the sky of the sky of a tree called life.” Taking this into thought, use your own craft to start telling some of your stories, learn and grow from them, and to keep sharing your stories.
Secretly, love lingers even after wounds heal. It’s a terrifying reality to come to terms with, as it challenges our very sense of security. Carrying past emotions forward affects us later on, and develops our expectations of potential relationships in the future.
It’s essential that you give yourself time to process, react and adjust to the situation; all of which can be a slow and painful, but ultimately healing process. Who knows, maybe in the future you shall have a chance at being friends again, but for that to happen it’s necessary for you to focus on yourself first.
Letting go isn’t something you do once and then never think of it again. It’s a journey that requires regular maintenance, something that you continually work on, accept and most importantly, provide yourself with the grace to grow and move forward.
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