Shocking Examples of Repression in Psychology (Must Know!)

Key Takeaways:

• Repression hides painful memories
• Impacts emotional and mental health
• Common defense mechanism in psychology
• Affects relationships and intimacy
• Recognizing repression leads to healing

What is repression?

Repression is like putting your emotions in a locked box and throwing away the key. It's a defense mechanism, but it's not a healthy one. We repress memories, thoughts, or feelings that are too difficult to confront. According to Freud, repression is when the mind pushes traumatic or distressing information into the unconscious to protect itself. It's a coping method that shields us from pain—but not forever. These repressed emotions don't just disappear. They simmer beneath the surface, waiting to impact our lives, usually in negative ways.

Think of it like packing a suitcase for a trip. You cram everything in, but eventually, you can't zip it up. The more you repress, the harder it becomes to keep everything contained. That's why repressed emotions tend to show up when you least expect it—through outbursts, anxiety, or physical symptoms. In psychology, this is often referred to as “repressed memory” or “repression psychology.” The tricky part? Most of the time, we don't even realize we're doing it.

How does repression work?

Repression works by burying memories, feelings, or thoughts deep in the unconscious mind. Imagine your mind as an iceberg. The conscious mind, what you're aware of, is just the tip—everything below the surface is where repression takes place. When you experience something painful, instead of processing it, your brain pushes it down into that hidden part of the iceberg. It's not gone; it's just out of reach, lurking in the depths.

But the mind has a limit to how much it can repress. Think of repressed memories like weights at the bottom of a pool. Over time, they rise to the surface, sometimes in the form of anxiety, depression, or difficulty maintaining relationships. Repression may temporarily ease pain, but it often leads to bigger problems down the road. In fact, the more we repress, the harder it becomes to differentiate between what's real and what's suppressed.

What are the different types of repression?

Repression isn't a one-size-fits-all psychological defense. There are several forms it can take, each with its own flavor of denial and avoidance. From primary repression, which occurs early in life, to more sophisticated forms like reaction formation or sublimation, our minds have many ways of hiding uncomfortable feelings.

For instance, primary repression involves pushing uncomfortable thoughts and desires deep into the unconscious, usually from early childhood. This is when feelings and thoughts deemed "unacceptable" are locked away before they can fully form. In contrast, secondary repression happens later, when we're more aware of what's troubling us but still choose to shove those thoughts aside.

Other types of repression include denial—outright refusal to acknowledge a painful reality—and suppression, where we intentionally push away distressing emotions. In a more complex form, intellectualization allows us to rationalize or analyze emotional issues in a detached way, avoiding their real emotional impact. Sublimation channels these repressed feelings into more acceptable outlets, like work or art.

Primary repression vs secondary repression

When we talk about repression, it's essential to distinguish between primary and secondary forms. Primary repression occurs early in life, often before we even develop language. These are thoughts and desires so taboo or painful that they never make it into our conscious awareness. Freud described this as the first line of defense the mind creates to prevent psychological distress from overwhelming us at a young age. Essentially, it's like setting emotional boundaries that protect us as we grow, but those boundaries can become rigid walls later in life.

Secondary repression, on the other hand, happens when we are aware of something uncomfortable but still push it away. It's more of a deliberate action, even if it feels automatic. For example, we might recognize feelings of sadness or anger but choose not to address them because we believe they're “unimportant” or too painful. These two forms of repression often work in tandem, laying the groundwork for emotional struggles that manifest in adulthood.

Is repression bad?

Repression isn't necessarily all bad. It's a natural defense mechanism—our mind's way of protecting us from overwhelming emotions and experiences. In the short term, it can help us survive traumatic situations or shield us from emotional pain when we're not ready to face it. Think of repression as a coping tool that gives us the space to function when life feels unbearable. We all use it to some extent.

But here's the catch: repression becomes harmful when it's chronic. The longer we bury our emotions, the more they fester and impact our mental health. What starts as a protective measure can turn into a ticking time bomb. Repressed emotions don't just vanish; they manifest in other ways—whether it's through anxiety, depression, or even physical illness. It can even lead to harmful behaviors like addiction or destructive relationship patterns. In many cases, repression causes us to lose touch with our true feelings, making it harder to connect with others on a genuine level.

Ultimately, repression is a short-term solution with long-term consequences. The key is recognizing when it's time to confront those hidden feelings and work through them instead of letting them rule your life from behind the scenes.

Repression in psychology: examples

Repression shows up in many forms in everyday life. For instance, someone who experienced a traumatic event in childhood may have no memory of it, yet they still carry its emotional weight in the form of anxiety or trust issues in adulthood. This is classic repression at work—the memory is too painful to deal with, so the mind “forgets” it. But forgetting doesn't equal healing.

Another common example is how we repress emotions in relationships. Picture this: you're upset with your partner, but instead of addressing the issue, you shove the feeling aside to avoid conflict. Over time, this leads to resentment, emotional distance, or even outbursts of anger seemingly out of nowhere. Repression is sneaky like that. It hides in the background until something triggers it.

Even physical symptoms can be linked to repression. Psychosomatic illnesses—such as chronic pain or digestive issues—can sometimes stem from unresolved emotions that the mind has buried. The connection between the mind and body is powerful, and repressed emotions don't just affect mental health; they can impact physical health too.

One of the more well-known examples in psychology is the case of patients with repressed memories of abuse or trauma. For years, they might have no recollection of the event, only for memories to surface during therapy or under hypnosis. These aren't just isolated incidents; repression is a fundamental concept in psychology for understanding how we manage emotional pain.

Real-life examples of repression in psychology

Repression can feel abstract, but real-life examples make it easier to understand just how common this defense mechanism is. Take the example of someone who grew up in a household with constant fighting. As a child, they might have repressed their fear and anxiety, burying it deep inside to survive the chaos. Later in life, they may find themselves avoiding conflict at all costs, or on the flip side, overreacting to even small arguments because those repressed feelings are bubbling up under pressure.

Another example comes from trauma survivors. People who've gone through something incredibly painful, such as abuse, sometimes forget the event entirely. Their mind protects them by locking away the memory, yet they still suffer symptoms like nightmares, anxiety, or feelings of intense fear without knowing the source. These are all forms of repression at play.

Even more subtle examples can be found in everyday life. For instance, have you ever met someone who jokes about their failures or embarrassments? Humor can be a form of repression, where the person avoids dealing with uncomfortable feelings by laughing them off. They may appear carefree on the outside, but underneath, they're struggling with unprocessed emotions.

How repression affects our relationships

Repression doesn't just stay hidden in the unconscious mind; it creeps into our relationships, often in ways we don't expect. One of the clearest impacts of repression in relationships is the difficulty in expressing emotions. When we bury feelings of hurt, anger, or even love, it becomes almost impossible to communicate honestly with our partners. This emotional suppression leads to misunderstandings, conflict, and even emotional distance.

Repressed emotions also create trust issues. If we've pushed aside past betrayals or emotional wounds, we may struggle to fully trust others, even in healthy relationships. It's like we're waiting for the other shoe to drop because, on some level, we haven't processed our own fears. This can lead to avoidance of intimacy or emotional vulnerability. After all, if you're not in touch with your own feelings, how can you truly connect with someone else?

Another way repression affects relationships is through overreacting to triggers. Maybe you're in a minor disagreement, but you suddenly feel overwhelmingly angry or upset. This overreaction could be a sign that old, repressed emotions are resurfacing, and the current situation is just the tip of the iceberg. When we don't deal with repressed feelings, they come out in unpredictable ways, often harming our relationships.

Repression can also shape unhealthy attachment styles. Someone who represses emotions may develop avoidant behaviors, keeping their partner at arm's length to avoid confronting their own feelings. Alternatively, they might become overly clingy, fearing abandonment because they haven't dealt with past emotional losses. In either case, repression creates a barrier to healthy, secure attachments.

Embracing repressed emotions

Embracing repressed emotions isn't easy—it requires a willingness to face what we've been avoiding. But it's essential if we want to heal and live authentically. The first step is acknowledging that those buried feelings exist. Maybe you've been pushing aside sadness, anger, or fear for years. It's okay to admit that you're carrying emotional baggage. Once you acknowledge it, the work of understanding and processing can begin.

Therapy is often one of the best places to start embracing repressed emotions. Techniques like talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or even somatic approaches can help you unearth what's been hidden. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, talks about how our bodies hold onto trauma and emotional pain until we're ready to deal with it. He notes, "Trauma is stored in the body, and when it is ignored or repressed, it manifests in other ways." This is why addressing repressed feelings is crucial not just for mental health but physical well-being too.

Another key aspect of embracing repressed emotions is practicing self-compassion. You've been protecting yourself for a reason, and there's no need to rush the process. Be kind to yourself as you work through these emotions. It can be messy and uncomfortable, but ultimately, it's liberating. Journaling, meditation, or simply talking about your feelings with someone you trust can also help create a space for repressed emotions to surface and be understood.

FAQs about repression and psychology

What are some common examples of repressed memories?
Common examples include memories of childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect, that a person has forgotten, yet they experience symptoms like anxiety, depression, or fear that hint at those repressed experiences.

Can repression cause mental health problems?
Yes, repression is often linked to various mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). When emotions are left unaddressed, they can create significant psychological stress.

How does repression affect physical health?
Repressed emotions can lead to physical health problems such as chronic pain, headaches, digestive issues, and fatigue. As Dr. Gabor Maté explains in When the Body Says No, "The body absorbs the stress that the mind avoids, often leading to illness."

How can I tell if my repression is causing problems in my relationships?
If you find it difficult to communicate your emotions, experience sudden outbursts, or feel emotionally distant from your partner, repression might be at play. Unresolved emotions can create walls between you and the people you care about.

What is reaction formation in psychology, and how does it relate to repression?
Reaction formation occurs when a person behaves in a way that is opposite to what they truly feel because their real feelings are too threatening to acknowledge. It's one of the defense mechanisms tied to repression.

Can repression cause mental health problems?

Absolutely. Repression is like sweeping emotional dust under the rug—it may keep things clean for a while, but eventually, that dust builds up and creates bigger problems. When we push painful memories or emotions out of our awareness, they don't disappear. They linger in our unconscious mind, often showing up as anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges.

Many people who repress their emotions feel fine for a while—sometimes for years. But over time, these repressed feelings demand to be felt. They might manifest as overwhelming sadness, feelings of emptiness, or sudden panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere. These are signs that your mind is struggling to contain what's been buried for too long.

In more severe cases, repression can contribute to conditions like dissociative disorders, where individuals become disconnected from their own thoughts and feelings as a way to cope. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is another example. Traumatic memories, when repressed, can cause flashbacks, nightmares, and intense emotional reactions that make daily functioning difficult.

In her book Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman explains how repressed trauma can linger, stating, "The ordinary response to atrocities is to banish them from consciousness. Certain violations, however, resist repression. They are too painful, too threatening to be forgotten, even though the mind tries." The key here is that repression doesn't solve the problem—it just delays it. And when the mind can no longer contain the emotional pain, it often spills out in destructive ways.

Repressed emotions can also contribute to physical health problems. Conditions like chronic fatigue, digestive disorders, and even autoimmune diseases can be linked to unresolved emotional pain. The body holds onto what the mind avoids, leading to a range of psychosomatic illnesses.

Recommended Resources

• The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
• When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Maté
• Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman