12 Surprising Traits of Pretentious People (And How to Handle Them)

Key Takeaways:

• Spot the signs of pretentiousness.
• Understand their exaggerated behaviors.
• Learn why they act superior.
• Discover ways to handle them.
• See through their shallow facade.

Why Pretentious People Get Under Our Skin

Pretentious people can be exhausting. We've all encountered them—the ones who always seem to know better, do better, and, of course, have better taste than anyone else. But what is it about these individuals that gets under our skin so much? Why do they evoke such strong reactions in us?

The truth is, pretentiousness often masks insecurity. When someone acts superior or more knowledgeable, it's usually a defense mechanism. They're trying to cover up feelings of inadequacy or a deep-seated fear of not being good enough. This is where we come in, getting caught in the crossfire of their need to prove themselves. As a result, we might feel annoyed, frustrated, or even belittled in their presence.

Understanding the psychology behind pretentious behavior can help us deal with these individuals more effectively. When we recognize that their need to impress is more about them than it is about us, we can start to see through their facade and avoid getting drawn into their games.

They Claim to Be Foodies but Miss the Mark

Have you ever been at a dinner where someone insists on lecturing the table about the intricacies of wine pairings or the "proper" way to cook a steak? These so-called foodies love to flaunt their culinary knowledge. However, if you look a bit closer, you'll notice they often miss the mark. They might be able to name-drop the latest Michelin-starred restaurant, but ask them to explain why a dish works, and they stumble.

This type of pretentious behavior stems from a desire to be seen as sophisticated or cultured. Food, being such a central part of social interactions, becomes an easy target for these individuals to showcase their "expertise." Yet, this expertise is often shallow, more about appearances than genuine understanding. It's about creating an image rather than enjoying the experience.

In reality, true food lovers appreciate the art of cooking and eating for what it is—a source of joy, not a status symbol. So next time you're faced with a pretentious foodie, take a step back and remember that their grandstanding says more about their insecurities than their taste buds.

They Are the Ultimate Cinephiles – Or So They Say

We all know someone who claims to have an encyclopedic knowledge of films, from the golden age of Hollywood to the latest indie flicks. They throw around terms like "auteur theory" and can recount the entire filmography of a director you've never heard of. These self-proclaimed cinephiles often present their passion for movies as a badge of honor, setting themselves apart from the "casual" moviegoer.

But here's the thing: often, their knowledge is more about impressing others than a genuine love of cinema. They might rave about a black-and-white classic, yet they probably haven't sat through the whole film without checking their phone. Their cinephilia is performative, designed to elevate their status in the eyes of others.

True cinephiles, on the other hand, watch films for the sheer joy and exploration of the medium, not to bolster their ego. They understand that cinema is an art form meant to be experienced, not a tool to demonstrate intellectual superiority.

They Can't Handle Music That Isn't 'In'

Music is another battleground for pretentious behavior. These individuals often pride themselves on being ahead of the curve when it comes to music trends. They'll dismiss anything mainstream as "too commercial" or "overplayed," preferring to champion obscure bands that no one else has heard of. But let that band gain some popularity, and suddenly, they've "sold out."

This need to stay ahead of the trend curve isn't really about musical taste. Instead, it's about maintaining an image of exclusivity and superiority. By aligning themselves with lesser-known artists, they feel they are part of a select group of enlightened listeners.

However, this obsession with being "in" often means they miss out on enjoying music for what it is—an emotional experience that connects us all. In their rush to discover the next big thing, they overlook the simple pleasure of listening to music that genuinely resonates with them, regardless of its popularity.

The Fashion Game: Always Dressed to Impress

Fashion is one of the most visible ways pretentious people try to establish their superiority. Whether it's donning the latest designer threads or meticulously curating an outfit that screams "effortless chic," they are always dressed to impress. These individuals believe that their clothing choices set them apart from the masses, making them more refined, more cultured, more... everything.

But let's take a closer look. Is their fashion sense really about self-expression, or is it just another tool to project an image? Often, it's the latter. They aren't dressing to feel good or to express their unique personality; they're dressing to be seen, to be envied, and to assert their place in a perceived social hierarchy. This isn't about fashion as art; it's fashion as a status symbol.

True style comes from within, and it's less about the label and more about how you wear it. It's about confidence, comfort, and authenticity. But for the pretentious, fashion becomes a superficial game where the rules are dictated by what others think. They may look the part, but scratch the surface, and there's often not much substance underneath.

They Use Big Words to Sound Smart, But Do They Really Understand?

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone drops words like "existential," "juxtaposition," or "dialectical" with such frequency that it starts to feel like a verbal arms race? These big words are often used to impress, to signal intelligence, or to dominate a discussion. However, the question remains: do they actually understand what they're saying, or are they just trying to sound smart?

The truth is, using complex vocabulary isn't inherently bad—language is rich and varied for a reason. But when words are wielded more as weapons than as tools for communication, it's a different story. Pretentious individuals often overcomplicate their language to obscure the fact that they might not fully grasp the concepts they're talking about. It's a smoke-and-mirrors approach to intellect.

Real intelligence, however, lies in clarity. The ability to explain complex ideas in simple, accessible terms is the true mark of understanding. When someone uses big words just for the sake of it, they're often compensating for a lack of deeper knowledge. So the next time you hear someone tossing around jargon, ask yourself: are they shedding light on the topic, or are they just trying to keep others in the dark?

Name-Dropping Like It's Their Job

Name-dropping is one of the most obvious signs of a pretentious personality. You've probably encountered someone who casually mentions they had lunch with a famous author, or that they once attended a private event with a renowned celebrity. These people drop names into conversation like confetti, hoping to dazzle others with their connections. But what are they really trying to achieve?

Name-dropping is often a way to elevate oneself by association. The idea is that if they can link themselves to someone well-known or respected, they too will be seen in a more favorable light. It's a strategy rooted in insecurity, where the need for validation comes from external sources rather than self-worth.

The irony is, most people see through this tactic. Instead of being impressed, we're often left feeling that the name-dropper is more concerned with appearances than with genuine relationships or achievements. Real confidence doesn't need to rely on borrowed fame; it shines on its own without the need for validation from others.

Exaggerating Accomplishments to Boost Their Ego

Exaggeration is another common trait of pretentious people. Whether it's inflating their job title, overstating their role in a project, or embellishing their achievements, these individuals constantly seek to portray themselves as more successful than they really are. They might claim to have "led" a team when they were just a member, or describe a modest accomplishment as groundbreaking.

This behavior stems from a deep need to feel important and to be recognized by others. In a world where status often equates to worth, pretentious individuals feel compelled to create a narrative that paints them as exceptional. However, the danger lies in the inevitable moment when their exaggerations are exposed, leading to a loss of credibility and respect.

True accomplishment doesn't need embellishment. It speaks for itself through consistent, genuine effort and results. Those who achieve great things quietly, without the need for constant recognition, often find more fulfillment and respect in the long run. The pretentious, on the other hand, are left chasing the fleeting approval of others, never quite secure in their own worth.

Unfounded Claims: The Art of Pretending to Know

Pretentious people often excel at making grand claims with little to no basis in fact. They'll confidently assert their opinions on complex topics—whether it's quantum physics, world politics, or even a niche area of expertise—despite having only a surface-level understanding. The goal here isn't to educate or inform; it's to project an image of omniscience.

The problem with unfounded claims is that they can quickly unravel under scrutiny. When questioned, these individuals often deflect, change the subject, or double down on their assertions, hoping to intimidate others into silence. But their facade of knowledge is fragile, built on the shaky ground of half-truths and misconceptions.

This behavior reveals a deep insecurity and a fear of being exposed as less knowledgeable than they present themselves to be. In contrast, truly knowledgeable individuals aren't afraid to admit when they don't know something. They understand that learning is a continuous process, not a performance. Pretending to know everything only isolates the pretentious, while real learners continue to grow and connect with others through genuine dialogue.

Amateur Philosophers: Deep Thoughts or Just Hot Air?

Have you ever encountered someone who, in the midst of a casual conversation, suddenly launches into a monologue about the meaning of life, the nature of reality, or the intricacies of human existence? These amateur philosophers love to wax poetic about deep topics, often using complex language and abstract concepts to sound profound. But is there substance behind their words, or are they just blowing hot air?

While there's nothing wrong with pondering life's big questions, pretentious individuals often use philosophy as a tool to elevate themselves above others. Their musings are less about exploring ideas and more about showcasing their "intellectual depth." They might quote Nietzsche or Kierkegaard, not because they genuinely engage with these thinkers, but because they want to appear erudite.

The issue here is that their philosophical discussions often lack coherence or genuine insight. Instead of fostering meaningful conversations, they tend to dominate discussions with their ramblings, leaving others feeling alienated or confused. True philosophical inquiry, however, is rooted in humility and a willingness to listen as much as to speak. It's about exploring ideas together, not using them as a platform for self-aggrandizement.

They Can't Keep Their Stories Straight

One of the most telling signs of pretentious behavior is inconsistency in their stories. These individuals often embellish or outright fabricate details to make themselves appear more impressive, knowledgeable, or connected than they really are. However, the more they try to maintain this false image, the harder it becomes to keep their stories straight.

For instance, they might boast about attending an exclusive event, only to contradict themselves later when discussing what they were supposedly doing at the same time. Or they might exaggerate their role in a project, only to forget the details they previously claimed. These inconsistencies often reveal the cracks in their carefully constructed personas.

The constant need to fabricate or exaggerate stems from a desire to be seen as extraordinary. But the reality is that maintaining a web of lies is exhausting, and the truth has a way of coming out. When it does, their credibility takes a significant hit, often leading to awkward confrontations or being quietly dismissed by others. Honesty, even if it means admitting to being ordinary, is always more sustainable—and far more respectable.

Pretty Fly for a Pretentious Guy: When Arrogance Becomes Comedy

There's a point where pretentiousness crosses over from being annoying to downright comical. It's when the arrogance of a pretentious individual becomes so over-the-top that it's impossible not to laugh. They might strut into a room, talking about their latest "groundbreaking" project, only for it to turn out to be something trivial or mundane. Or they may try to impress with their "exclusive" knowledge, only to be met with blank stares or subtle chuckles from those around them.

This kind of behavior is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it alienates them from those who see through the facade. On the other, it provides endless entertainment for those who can appreciate the irony. In trying so hard to be taken seriously, they end up being the punchline of their own joke.

When pretentiousness reaches this level, it becomes a lesson in the dangers of taking oneself too seriously. A little humility can go a long way. After all, it's far better to laugh with others than to be laughed at because of one's own exaggerated self-importance. Recognizing this can be the first step in shedding the pretentious act and embracing authenticity.

How to Deal with Pretentious People: Practical Tips

Dealing with pretentious people can be challenging, especially when their behavior impacts your mood or your environment. However, there are practical strategies you can use to navigate these situations without losing your cool or getting drawn into their games.

First, recognize that their behavior is more about them than it is about you. Pretentious individuals often act the way they do because of deep-seated insecurities or a need for validation. Understanding this can help you maintain your own sense of self-worth and not take their actions personally.

Next, set boundaries. If someone's pretentious behavior is becoming too much to handle, it's okay to distance yourself or steer conversations in a different direction. You don't have to engage in discussions that make you uncomfortable or feed into their need for attention.

Another effective strategy is to use humor. Sometimes, gently pointing out the absurdity of their behavior can deflate their pretentiousness without causing conflict. A well-placed joke or a light-hearted comment can bring levity to the situation and help others see the humor in it as well.

Finally, practice empathy. While it can be tempting to dismiss pretentious people as shallow or insufferable, it's important to remember that they are often struggling with their own issues. Showing kindness and understanding, even when it's difficult, can sometimes lead to more genuine connections and may even help them feel less of a need to impress others.

Recommended Resources

• "The Confidence Gap" by Russ Harris – A guide to overcoming self-doubt and building authentic confidence.
• "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson – A refreshing take on living a more authentic life.
• "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz – A powerful code of conduct for life rooted in personal integrity.