7 Practical Ways to Handle Entitled Narcissists

Key Takeaways:

Recognize signs of narcissistic entitlement.
Set firm, clear boundaries.
Educate yourself on NPD traits.
Stay calm and collected in conflicts.
Know when to seek help.

Understanding Narcissistic Entitlement

If you've ever met someone who seems to believe the world owes them everything and everyone should cater to their needs, you've encountered narcissistic entitlement. This isn't just about arrogance—it's a pervasive belief that they deserve more than others simply because they exist. For those of us trying to navigate relationships with entitled narcissists, it can feel like walking on eggshells. You may question your reality, your value, or even your sanity in the face of their inflated sense of self.

Narcissistic entitlement often goes hand-in-hand with a lack of empathy, an expectation that rules don't apply to them, and a deep-rooted belief that they are always right. As Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism, points out, “Entitlement is the belief that you're owed something for nothing.” He's right—narcissists often demand endless validation, admiration, or concessions from others. They view this entitlement as an unshakeable right.

It's not just the behavior of feeling special—it's the expectation that others should automatically recognize and cater to that “specialness.” Let's dive deeper into why this mindset develops and how it affects their interactions with others.

What Causes Narcissistic Entitlement?

Understanding what drives narcissistic entitlement isn't simple, but it's crucial if we want to protect ourselves emotionally. Many experts believe that these traits can develop due to a combination of genetic predispositions and early life experiences. For instance, if a child grows up in an environment where they are excessively praised without realistic feedback, they might start believing they're truly exceptional.

Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, known for her work on narcissism, explains that entitlement often stems from deep-rooted insecurities and a fragile sense of self. According to her, “Entitlement is a defense mechanism against deep-seated fears of inadequacy and rejection.” When you look beyond the grandiosity, the reality is often a lack of self-worth masked by arrogance.

Another contributing factor can be societal influences that glorify superficial success and emphasize appearances over genuine character. When cultural values prioritize fame, wealth, and status above humility and integrity, narcissistic entitlement tends to flourish.

How Do Entitled Narcissists See Themselves?

Entitled narcissists don't just have high self-esteem; they genuinely believe they are superior to others. It's not uncommon for them to view themselves as the smartest, most talented, or most attractive person in the room. This perception isn't based on objective reality, but rather on their need to protect a fragile ego. They inflate their self-image to avoid facing insecurities or vulnerabilities that might lurk beneath the surface.

Imagine someone who constantly compares themselves to others but always finds a way to come out on top in their own mind. For them, there's no room for humility or introspection—admitting faults would be admitting weakness, and that's something an entitled narcissist cannot bear.

As psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin highlights in his research, narcissists rely on their inflated self-views to maintain their sense of control and superiority. “To them, feeling special and above others is essential to their identity,” he writes. This belief often drives their need for admiration and validation from others, sometimes at any cost.

How They View Others

While entitled narcissists see themselves as grand and deserving, they often view others as either tools to be used or threats to be dismissed. This black-and-white thinking means they categorize people into those who can serve their needs and those who might challenge or diminish their perceived superiority.

In relationships, this mindset creates an imbalanced power dynamic. They might shower someone with praise if it serves their interests but quickly turn cold or dismissive if the person no longer provides the validation they crave. Narcissists are quick to exploit those who they believe can elevate their self-image and are equally fast to discard people who don't play into their narrative of superiority.

This behavior leads to a lack of genuine empathy. Entitled narcissists struggle to see others as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and needs. Instead, they view people as either stepping stones or obstacles. And if you challenge their entitlement? Expect defensiveness, anger, or complete withdrawal.

Signs of Narcissistic Entitlement

Narcissistic entitlement doesn't always scream its presence; sometimes, it's subtle. The signs can range from blatant arrogance to small, everyday behaviors that erode trust and harmony in relationships. One clear indicator is their constant expectation of special treatment. An entitled narcissist will always believe that rules, societal norms, and common courtesy don't apply to them. It's the person who feels like waiting in line is beneath them, or believes their problems should automatically be everyone else's priority.

Another sign is their inability to handle criticism or rejection. Even mild feedback can trigger intense defensiveness or rage. Why? Because any critique challenges their grandiose self-view. Additionally, watch for consistent disregard for other people's feelings or boundaries. If they frequently cross emotional or social lines without remorse, it's a big red flag.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula warns that these entitled narcissists may “appear confident on the outside, but their behavior reflects deep insecurity and need for validation.” In other words, entitlement often masks a fragile inner self that can't cope with the reality of being less than perfect.

How Narcissistic Entitlement Impacts Relationships

Entitled narcissists can wreak havoc in relationships, whether romantic, familial, or professional. One of the most damaging effects is their consistent disregard for others' feelings, needs, and boundaries. It's emotionally exhausting for the people around them, who may feel their own needs are constantly dismissed or diminished. Over time, this can lead to emotional burnout and feelings of resentment.

Another common dynamic is that of the “giver” and the “taker.” In relationships with narcissists, you'll often see them playing the role of the taker while expecting their partner, friend, or family member to be the perpetual giver. If you try to address the imbalance or set boundaries, they'll likely accuse you of being selfish or unsupportive. Their view is simple: “My needs come first, and yours are an afterthought.”

This entitlement creates a power struggle, where the entitled narcissist manipulates situations to ensure they're in control. As researcher and psychologist Dr. Wendy Behary describes, “For narcissists, relationships are not about mutual support, but about maintaining power and feeding their need for superiority.” This mindset leads to unhealthy relationships where empathy and genuine connection become rare commodities.

If you're in a relationship with an entitled narcissist, the impact can be profound and deeply challenging. But understanding these patterns and why they occur is the first step toward regaining a sense of control and self-worth.

Narcissists and Power Dynamics

Power is at the heart of narcissistic entitlement. For entitled narcissists, relationships often resemble a constant struggle for dominance rather than a partnership built on equality and understanding. They see power as something to wield, not share, and this belief drives many of their interactions. They manipulate situations, people, and even emotions to maintain control and feed their need for superiority.

This manipulation can take many forms, from subtle guilt-tripping to outright gaslighting. They may present themselves as confident or even charming, but beneath that facade lies a fear of losing control. This fear leads to behaviors aimed at keeping them in a position of power. Narcissists often surround themselves with people who will either validate their self-importance or submit to their control. Friends, partners, and even colleagues may become part of this unhealthy power dynamic.

As renowned psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride explains, “Narcissists build empires around themselves. They aren't interested in partnerships—they want subjects to rule.” And when those around them challenge their authority or express differing views, the narcissist sees it as a threat to their carefully constructed power structure.

What Happens When You Challenge an Entitled Narcissist?

When you challenge an entitled narcissist, expect a reaction. They might respond with intense defensiveness, rage, or even an attempt to punish you. Why? Because challenging them undermines their grandiose self-image and shakes the foundation of their identity. Criticism or pushback, no matter how gentle, often feels like an attack to them.

One common reaction is what's known as "narcissistic rage." This isn't just a fit of anger—it's a deeply emotional response stemming from their perceived loss of control. You might see them explode verbally, lash out with personal attacks, or even try to discredit or belittle you. They might twist the situation to make you feel guilty or question your own judgment. In this state, their goal isn't resolution—it's about reasserting their dominance.

However, not all entitled narcissists react explosively. Some may engage in more covert tactics like silent treatment or passive-aggressive behavior. They might withdraw affection, subtly undermine your confidence, or try to play the victim to manipulate your emotions. It's not about understanding or finding common ground; it's about reestablishing their perceived superiority.

Psychologist Dr. Elinor Greenberg points out that, for a narcissist, “Being challenged feels like a wound to their self-worth. Their response is often to lash out, withdraw, or control the narrative.” Understanding this dynamic is crucial, especially if you find yourself navigating a relationship with an entitled narcissist.

Why They Lack Empathy

One of the most defining traits of an entitled narcissist is their lack of empathy. While most of us naturally consider other people's feelings, narcissists struggle to do so. But why? It boils down to their deep need to protect their fragile self-image. Empathy requires seeing beyond one's own needs and considering the feelings of others, which can challenge a narcissist's narrative of superiority and entitlement.

Narcissists often view emotions—whether their own or others'—as weaknesses. If someone expresses hurt or frustration, the entitled narcissist perceives it as a threat to their ego. Instead of acknowledging those feelings, they may dismiss them or even ridicule them to maintain control. This is why, when dealing with an entitled narcissist, you may find that any attempt to express your emotions is met with indifference or even contempt.

Dr. Les Carter, a psychologist who specializes in narcissistic personality traits, explains that narcissists are "preoccupied with proving their worth to the point where they lose sight of others as full, autonomous individuals." In other words, their world revolves around protecting and bolstering their own image, leaving little room for genuine empathy.

Can Entitled Narcissists Change?

This is a question many people ask when they're in close relationships with entitled narcissists. And the answer is complicated. Yes, entitled narcissists can change, but only if they are willing to face the reality of their behavior and actively seek help. It's not an easy path, though. Recognizing and admitting their faults requires an honesty that goes against their deep-seated defenses.

For change to occur, the narcissist must develop insight into their own patterns. But here's the challenge: this insight usually requires a significant event that shatters their inflated self-image, like a personal crisis or repeated failures in relationships. Even then, change is difficult. It requires humility, which is precisely what many entitled narcissists lack.

According to Dr. Craig Malkin, the author of Rethinking Narcissism, "Narcissists must be willing to trade feeling special for feeling connected. If they can't let go of their need to be superior, change will remain out of reach." In practice, this means entitled narcissists must learn to value relationships over their own ego—a monumental task for someone conditioned to see themselves as the center of everything.

However, if the entitled narcissist genuinely seeks professional help and commits to long-term therapy, it's possible for them to develop healthier patterns of behavior and greater empathy for others. But change cannot be forced—it must come from within them.

How to Deal with Narcissistic Entitlement

Dealing with someone who has narcissistic entitlement can feel overwhelming, especially if it's a close friend, partner, or family member. However, knowing how to handle their behaviors and protect your own mental health is crucial. It starts with accepting the reality of who they are and setting clear limits to avoid being manipulated or drained by their constant demands.

The key is to approach this challenge with both knowledge and strategy. Entitled narcissists will often push your boundaries, attempt to guilt-trip you, or demand more than you can give. You need a solid understanding of their behavior patterns, strong boundaries, and a support system in place.

In this section, we'll explore specific strategies to protect yourself and interact with entitled narcissists in a healthier way. These include educating yourself, boosting your own sense of self, setting clear boundaries, staying calm in confrontations, and more.

1. Educate Yourself About Narcissistic Entitlement

The first and most critical step in dealing with an entitled narcissist is to educate yourself about narcissistic traits and entitlement. The more you know, the better equipped you are to handle their behaviors without taking their manipulation personally or feeling overwhelmed by their demands.

Narcissistic entitlement isn't always obvious. It can manifest in subtle ways, such as the expectation of constant praise or the belief that their needs are more urgent than anyone else's. By learning to recognize these patterns, you gain the clarity needed to respond effectively. Reading books, watching educational videos, and even seeking guidance from mental health professionals can provide valuable insights into their mindset.

When you understand that their behavior stems from a fragile sense of self-worth and deep-rooted insecurities, you can start to shift your perspective. You stop feeling responsible for their emotional reactions and start protecting your own mental well-being. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a well-known expert on narcissism, emphasizes that “education is your armor.” When you understand what you're dealing with, their actions lose some of their emotional sting.

Remember, knowledge is power. It not only helps you set healthier boundaries but also allows you to respond with empathy without sacrificing your own peace of mind.

2. Boost Your Own Ego

When dealing with an entitled narcissist, it's crucial to strengthen your own self-esteem. Why? Because entitled narcissists often exploit insecurities in others to reinforce their own sense of superiority. If you have a shaky sense of self, you become an easier target for their manipulations and guilt-tripping tactics.

Boosting your own ego isn't about becoming arrogant or self-centered—it's about recognizing your worth and standing firm in your values. Practice self-affirmation and remind yourself of your strengths regularly. Spend time doing activities that make you feel competent and confident. Engage with people who support you and lift you up, rather than those who drain your energy or make you feel small.

Psychologist and author Nathaniel Branden emphasized the importance of self-esteem when dealing with narcissistic behaviors: “The more solid your self-esteem, the less you'll be affected by someone else's toxic behavior.” When you believe in your value, you're less likely to fall into the trap of constantly seeking validation or approval from the narcissist in your life.

Boosting your own ego not only protects you but also empowers you to set firm boundaries and challenge entitled behavior without fear of losing yourself in the process.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential when dealing with entitled narcissists. Without clear boundaries, they will push and test limits, often without considering how their actions impact you. They may ask for unreasonable favors, expect you to prioritize their needs over yours, or try to control conversations or decisions.

Start by clearly defining what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed. For example, if they consistently interrupt or dominate conversations, you can say, “I'm going to take a break if this discussion doesn't stay balanced.” It's about stating your boundaries in a firm but calm manner, rather than reacting out of anger or frustration.

It's also vital to remain consistent with enforcing these boundaries. Entitled narcissists are skilled at pushing limits and testing resolve, so staying firm is essential. Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries, suggests, “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” This principle is particularly important when dealing with those who feel entitled to your time, energy, or emotions.

Boundaries aren't just for limiting their behavior—they're about protecting your mental health and sense of self. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but staying firm in your boundaries will help you regain a sense of control in the relationship.

4. Stay Calm and Composed

When dealing with an entitled narcissist, it's easy to feel provoked or emotionally drained. Their behavior often triggers anger, frustration, or even feelings of helplessness. However, reacting impulsively or aggressively only reinforces their belief that they have control over your emotions. The goal is to stay calm and composed, even when they're pushing your buttons.

This doesn't mean suppressing your emotions—it means finding a way to process them without letting the narcissist see you unravel. Take deep breaths, mentally detach from their accusations, and give yourself permission to pause if you need to. Saying something as simple as, “I need a moment to think,” allows you to regain control of the situation.

By keeping your cool, you're not giving them the power to dictate your emotional state. Dr. Ramani Durvasula advises, “Don't let their storm become your storm.” Staying calm isn't about letting them win—it's about maintaining your peace and reclaiming your emotional balance. When you respond with composure, it often diffuses their attempts to provoke or control the narrative.

5. Find a Support System

Dealing with narcissistic entitlement can be exhausting, especially if the person is a close partner or family member. One of the most important things you can do is find a support system—people who understand your situation and can offer encouragement and perspective. This could include trusted friends, family, or even professional therapists.

Having a support system allows you to vent your frustrations without fear of judgment. It also provides a reality check, helping you to see that the narcissist's version of events isn't necessarily the truth. Narcissists are skilled at twisting narratives, making you doubt your own perceptions, and eroding your self-confidence. A solid support network acts as a buffer against these manipulative tactics.

Consider joining online communities or support groups where others share similar experiences. Hearing stories from others who've navigated similar relationships can be empowering and validating. You are not alone in dealing with these challenges, and connecting with others can give you the strength to stay firm in your boundaries and reclaim your self-worth.

As Dr. Brené Brown, an expert on vulnerability and shame, puts it, “Connection is why we're here; it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” Finding that connection with others who truly understand can be the lifeline you need when facing the draining effects of an entitled narcissist.

6. Recognize They May Need Professional Help

Sometimes, dealing with an entitled narcissist goes beyond setting boundaries or boosting your self-esteem. If the person exhibits persistent and severe narcissistic behaviors that are harming themselves or others, it's essential to recognize that they may need professional help. Narcissistic entitlement is often part of a larger pattern associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which requires clinical intervention to manage effectively.

This recognition isn't about blaming or labeling them; it's about understanding the limitations of what you can do alone. You cannot “fix” an entitled narcissist through patience or sacrifice. Trying to take on that responsibility will only drain you and reinforce their distorted belief that others should cater to their needs.

Encouraging professional help doesn't always go smoothly. Narcissists often resist therapy because it forces them to confront their vulnerabilities and flaws. However, if you're in a close relationship with them, you might suggest it gently by focusing on shared goals. For example, you could say, “I want us both to be happier and healthier, and maybe talking to someone could help.”

Remember, your role is to encourage, not to force or push. Change can only come when they are genuinely willing to reflect and engage with a therapist in the process.

7. Recognize When You Need Help

Dealing with an entitled narcissist can take a toll on your emotional and mental well-being. That's why it's vital to recognize when you, too, need help. It's easy to become so focused on managing their behavior that you neglect your own needs. But here's the truth: taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's essential.

If you start feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally depleted, it's a clear sign that you need support. Consider reaching out to a therapist who understands narcissistic behaviors and can help you navigate the emotional complexities. A therapist can provide you with strategies for setting boundaries, processing your feelings, and rebuilding your self-esteem.

Moreover, seeking help doesn't mean you're weak or unable to handle the situation. On the contrary, it's a sign of strength and self-awareness. Dr. Ramani Durvasula often emphasizes that prioritizing your own mental health is the most empowering choice you can make in a relationship with a narcissist. “Your well-being is not negotiable,” she reminds us. Taking this step ensures that you're not sacrificing your own happiness and peace of mind in the name of someone else's entitlement.

So, don't hesitate to reach out. You deserve the same compassion and care you may be extending to others. Remember, recognizing when you need help is the first step toward healing and reclaiming your sense of self.

Is There Hope for the Narcissist?

One question that often lingers in the minds of those affected by narcissistic entitlement is whether or not there's hope for the narcissist to change. The reality is complex. While true and lasting change is possible, it requires a significant amount of self-awareness, commitment to therapy, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths about oneself. For many entitled narcissists, these requirements are tough pills to swallow.

That being said, some narcissists do experience moments of clarity that motivate them to seek help. These moments often arise from personal crises, such as losing important relationships, facing failures, or hitting an emotional low. When a narcissist is willing to acknowledge their behavior and commit to long-term therapy, meaningful change can occur.

However, this transformation is a challenging road. As Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a specialist in narcissistic personality disorder, puts it, “Narcissists can change, but only if they're willing to let go of the idea that they're above others and embrace a more genuine connection with themselves and others.” For loved ones, understanding this process requires patience and maintaining realistic expectations. Hope exists, but it must come from within the narcissist, driven by their own desire to grow beyond their entitled mindset.

FAQ

How do I know if someone is an entitled narcissist?

Spotting an entitled narcissist can be tricky, as their entitlement may not always be overt. Look for consistent patterns of expecting special treatment, dismissing others' needs, and reacting with anger or defensiveness when challenged. If someone consistently places their desires and opinions above everyone else's and lacks empathy, it may be a sign of narcissistic entitlement.

Can narcissists learn empathy?

While narcissists often struggle with empathy, it's not impossible for them to develop it. However, this requires a willingness to engage in deep, introspective therapy and work on understanding others' perspectives. The journey toward empathy can be long and challenging, but some narcissists do make progress with committed effort.

Is narcissistic entitlement different from confidence?

Yes, there's a significant difference between narcissistic entitlement and genuine confidence. Confidence comes from self-assurance and realistic self-assessment, while entitlement is rooted in an inflated sense of superiority and the expectation of special treatment. Confident people respect others and appreciate their own strengths without diminishing others, whereas entitled narcissists often do the opposite.

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