Go Ahead, Say You're Sorry: Forgiving & Being Forgiven

The act of saying "I'm sorry" carries a lot of weight. It serves as an emotional acknowledgement from someone who has wronged other that recognizes the harm their mistake has caused. It often signals forgiveness — both from the person asking for it and the one receiving it. But, is it always the best remedy for a painful situation? Is there ever a time when it's not necessary? Should we always say sorry or is there a way to forgive and be forgiven without opening one's mouth?

When it comes to understanding how to forgive and be forgiven, there are so many questions that could be asked that usually leads to more confusion than answers. To help explore this complex issue, let's start by considering the nature of forgiveness and its causes.

What is Forgiveness?

Simply put, forgiveness is a conscious effort to overlook something negative that may have been done by another. It's an intentional act of mercy and the letting go of any resentment or bitterness felt towards someone responsible for pain or offense. It can also be seen as a kind of gift because it gives the dis-enfranchised person the opportunity to move on from their hurt and, hopefully, away from any anger felt within the situation. This feeling of liberation is key for those seeking healing or closure and it's exactly why many reach out after an offensive act, hoping to be forgiven.

Why do We Forgive?

It's natural to feel some degree of anger immediately after being wronged in some way. Whether it's a simple misunderstanding or something more severe, it takes a certain amount of inner strength and courage to forgive. Doing so may sometimes require us to take a step back, sometimes even days or weeks, to think clearly and to understand the intention behind the other person's behavior. We have to be able to recognize the humanness in all of us – our own potential to make mistakes and misunderstandings.

But psychological professionals recognize that forgiving is not just about giving somebody else "extra slack" but about being set free from the pain caused by it. In fact, research states that refusing to acknowledge wrong doing also negatively affects the forgiver because it allows the root cause of the anger - or whatever caused them to feel unjustly wronged - to remain suppressed until it manifests in other areas such as physical health or relationships.

Another reason why we forgive is because of our deeply rooted need to keep ourselves healthy by preserving bonds with family, friends and significant others. On this note, studies report that couples who learn to forgive seem more likely to stay together while those who cannot seem more likely to fall apart.

Are ThereAny Negative Effects?

While forgiveness can have immense benefits, experts also warn of potential fallout if sincere remorse isn't shown. As previously noted, by offering an apology - explicitly stating " I am sorry"- you are showing your readiness to forgive and you are trying to encourage the other person to do the same. It's important that they understand your feelings without taking offense. If someone consistently refuses to take responsibility for their action, it may invalidate your justification. Over time, this will create tension, distrust, and resentment between individuals which can be immensely damaging. Building that bond requires compromise from both sides so don't feel forced or obligated to say "I'm sorry" if you don't mean it.

When You Should Say "I'm Sorry"

No one should feel obligated to say "I'm sorry" unless they truly mean it. While saying sorry can be a powerful act of kindness and empathy, it should not be used as a shield against accusations if both sides know that only one is guilty. Neither should one take advantage of their power over the other by making them apologize when they shouldn't have to. That being said, irrespective of guilt, always try extending yourself by saying sorry regardless of whose fault it may have been — it could even be your own. You could benefit from acknowledging what was done or temporarily putting aside animosity towards the other party when needed. This allows for communication and dialogue between two sides that creates better understanding and lets them move forward in unison with clear boundaries having being set up.

Learning how to forgive and be forgiven can prove difficult many times - especially if the other person doesn't understand why they are being criticized or feel too prideful to take accountability for their actions. However, the most important thing here is monitoring yourself–i.e., your reactions and emotions - no matter what impact another individual may have on you. The hope is that we arrive at a place of mutual understanding where being calm and showing patience becomes easier without losing sight of what needs to be forgiven. After all, sincerity goes a long way in easing hurtful situations but sometimes so does simply being kind - no words necessary.