When to Make the Commitment to Marriage

Love can be a tricky, winding path with lots of bumps along the way. Trying to decide when and if to commit to marriage is one of the most difficult decisions that a couple can ever make. When we set a deadline to make up our minds and still find ourselves uncertain, should we throw our hands up in despair and consider ourselves to have wasted two years of our lives?

When we reach a point where we've been together for two years and must now decide if we're ready to make a life-long commitment, many of us tend to feel immense pressure. The hours and days leading up to this moment can bring about many internal struggles for each person in the relationship. After all, even after having spent two years devotedly together, it can be a daunting task just to make the concrete decision of whether to spend the rest of our lives with someone.

It begins to feel like an exercise in delving into the future, a task that's impossible. No one knows exactly what the future may hold for us, and so it becomes a matter of trusting our gut feeling and hoping for the best. We look at the evidence before us and make our best-educated guess. We try to weigh the pros and cons, the 'if this then that' options, and take into account our most important values and facts. We ask ourselves if we could truly be happy together forever, if we can bring out the best in each other throughout the years, if our goals and attitudes are compatible. It can often seem like a wild emotional roller-coaster, and yes, it can be a stressful time, no doubt.

Making the right decision doesn't always come easily; especially when considering such a momentous pledge. But staying stagnant for too long without taking any action won't get us anywhere either. We don't need the additional pressure of a certain deadline holding us back from making a decision. We must accept that taking our time makes sense and to focus on the present moment instead. Taking our time gives us the best opportunity to make an informed choice that aligns with our long-term goals. We must never forget that times change and so do our feelings. It's normal to go through periods of confusion, or fluctuations in emotion or thought.

We mustn't be afraid to go inside ourselves and access our emotions. How do we really feel about spending the rest of our lives with that particular person? Do we feel comfortable looking into their eyes every day over a lifetime? Visualizing the life ahead may help us make decisions more easily. We need to listen to our heart's deepest desires, as well as our minds. Love is both delicate and complicated, and requires a main focus on the present moment.

It is important to take the time to get to know the other person, not only for ourselves but for them as well. We want to make sure that we are coming to the marriage from a place of connection and love, understanding our partner's needs and being comfortable with their personality. It also helps to explicitly discuss our expectations with each other and keep the communication channels open. This is important both before marriage and throughout it.

After all of this serious soul-searching and analyzing, it will come down to a feeling, a spark that can't be explained through logic. If that spark has been felt and still remains after so many deep thoughts and conversations, then it is definitely worth taking the plunge. Two years have gone by and it is still hard to decide? Well, why not take a breath, relax, gain some clarity and extend the deadline?

Only each person in the relationship has the answer. There is no need to rush but, at the same time, none of us want to miss out on the opportunity of creating a wonderful future for ourselves. Assessing and deciding if and when marriage is the best thing for both individuals is essential for a happy and successful marriage. Which route you should take? Only your intuition can guide you in the right direction.