When Mother-in-Law Becomes the Deal Breaker: What to Do If You Don't Want to Marry Because You Can't Stand Your Partner's Mom?

Getting married is one of the most significant decisions one can make in their lifetime. It's a beautiful union of two individuals and their families, but sometimes the decision is not easy, especially when it involves a person's mother-in-law. While there are countless jokes and stereotypes about the mother-in-law relationship, the truth is that it can be challenging and sometimes unbearable. If you're in a situation where you can't stand your partner's mother and are considering not marrying them, here are some things to consider.

Communicate with Your Partner

The first step in any relationship issue is communication. It's essential to be open and honest with your partner about how you feel about their mother. Don't assume that they know how you feel, or that they share your feelings. Share your experiences with them, explain how her behavior makes you feel, and how it's affecting your decision to marry. It's possible that your partner is unaware of their mother's behavior, or they may have had similar experiences and may be able to provide valuable insight.

Set Boundaries

It's crucial to set boundaries with your partner's mother. It's okay to let her know how her behavior makes you feel and what you expect from her in the future. However, it's important to do so respectfully and calmly. You may want to discuss boundaries with your partner and decide together what you both feel is appropriate. It could be limiting the amount of time you spend with her, not discussing certain topics, or having clear expectations for how she behaves when she's around you.

Understand Your Partner's Perspective

It's important to understand your partner's relationship with their mother. You may not agree with their behavior or opinions, but it's essential to acknowledge their feelings and the role their mother plays in their life. It's possible that your partner is in a difficult position and is trying to balance their relationship with their mother and their relationship with you. You may want to discuss how your partner sees their mother's behavior and what they are willing to do to address it.

Seek Professional Help

If you're struggling with the decision to marry, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can help you navigate your feelings and the decision-making process. They can provide insight into the dynamics of your relationship and offer advice on how to move forward. A therapist can also help you and your partner communicate more effectively and develop strategies to address your concerns.

Consider Postponing the Wedding

If you're not ready to call off the wedding entirely, consider postponing it. This will give you and your partner time to work through your issues and come to a resolution. It may also give you time to see if your partner is willing to take your concerns seriously and make changes in their behavior or their relationship with their mother. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about why you want to postpone the wedding and what you hope to achieve during that time.

The mother-in-law relationship can be challenging, and if you're in a situation where you can't stand your partner's mother, it's essential to take action. Communication is key, and it's important to be open and honest with your partner about your feelings. Set boundaries, try to understand your partner's perspective, seek professional help, and consider postponing the wedding. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being and happiness in any relationship.