What Does It Mean to Be Marriage Material?

Relationships can be challenging, and finding someone who is compatible with you is no easy task. While it's tempting to focus on superficial qualities like physical appearance or financial stability, what truly makes someone "marriage material" is much more complex. Myisha Battle, a licensed marriage and family therapist, has years of experience working with couples, and in a recent article for Time magazine, she shares her insights on what qualities are essential for a successful long-term partnership.

Battle emphasizes that the key to being marriage material is having emotional intelligence. This means being able to communicate effectively, empathize with your partner, and manage your own emotions. Emotional intelligence also involves being willing to work through conflict in a productive way, rather than avoiding it or resorting to passive-aggressive behaviors. Another crucial quality for a successful partnership is a shared set of values. While it's important to have individual interests and hobbies, having a foundation of shared beliefs and principles can help couples weather difficult times. This includes values like honesty, integrity, and respect, as well as more practical considerations like financial responsibility and commitment to family.

According to Battle, being marriage material also involves a willingness to be vulnerable with your partner. This means being open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and fears, even when it's uncomfortable or difficult. Vulnerability requires trust, and building trust in a relationship takes time and effort. However, it is essential for creating intimacy and connection between partners. Battle notes that being marriage material also involves a willingness to put in the work to maintain the relationship. This means being committed to growth and personal development, as well as being willing to compromise and make sacrifices when necessary. It also involves being open to feedback and constructive criticism, and being willing to adjust your behavior to better support your partner.

While these qualities may seem like common sense, they can be difficult to cultivate, especially if you have a history of unsuccessful relationships or struggle with insecurity. Battle offers several tips for developing these qualities and becoming more marriage material. First, she recommends taking time to reflect on your own values, goals, and desires. This can help you identify areas where you might need to grow or change in order to be a better partner. It can also help you identify what qualities you are looking for in a partner, and what values and beliefs you want to share with them.

Next, Battle emphasizes the importance of communication. Learning to communicate effectively is a skill that takes practice, but it is essential for building intimacy and connection with your partner. This means being willing to listen actively, express your own thoughts and feelings clearly, and work through conflict in a constructive way. Finally, Battle encourages individuals to focus on personal growth and development. This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally, as well as being open to learning and growth. It also involves being willing to seek support and help when you need it, whether that means therapy, coaching, or other forms of support.

Being marriage material involves a combination of qualities, including emotional intelligence, shared values, vulnerability, and commitment to personal growth and development. While these qualities may seem daunting to cultivate, they are essential for building a successful, long-term partnership. By focusing on these qualities and taking steps to develop them, individuals can become better partners and increase their chances of finding a happy and fulfilling relationship.