The nature of marriage has always been fraught with its fair share of pitfalls. It is a commitment that two individuals make to each other to form a life-long relationship that embodies the ultimate expression of love and companionship. But often as time passes, a spouse may grow interested in someone else, leading to mistrust and discontentment between partners. Undoubtedly, this can cause relationships to crumble, unfortunately leaving couples feeling burned and broken.
This begs the question: how can two individuals in a relationship make their union strong in spite of potential distraction from external influence? The answer lies in the posture of marital commitment each partner takes. Rather than a vow to stop being interested in other people all together, it’s more important for spouses to establish a commitment as to how to handle such interest in others.
This appears easier said than done, especially given how complicated temptations can be and how painful to grapple with subsequent inner conflict. Conventional wisdom tells us to fight this contact by outright refusing to entertain such feelings. The problem with this approach is that it can result in an additional layer of discord or even guilt when one partner ignores the mental, emotional, and spiritual callings they feel. At the same time, giving into these fantasies isn’t healthy either.
Here’s where the line becomes blurred between self preservation and complete seclusion. This looks different for every couple and it’s important to take this into account when engaging in honest conversation about curbing outside interest. One spouse may be comfortable with disclosing boundaries regarding how much public spending time he or she has with the other party versus private, while another spouse may need more security in the form of no contact whatsoever.
It’s through this process of individualized negotiation and discussion that a couple becomes better equipped to protect their union and sharpen the foundation of their partnership. Coming back to the example of spending time with those who evoke intrigue, the main idea here is to learn the ways in which you and your partner’s communication styles differ and then adjust accordingly. For instance, if courtship with coworkers is inevitable and one partner doesn’t handle it well, find a compromise where the other person stays within business boundaries but also finds alternative outlets to focus on, like a night out every now and again with friends.
The underlying goal is to create a sense of harmony between both partners that allows for trust and open dialogue whenever possible. Maybe your partner needs to limit his or her interactions ̏with the object of interest and funnel that extra energy into strengthening the bond you two already have. It could mean taking a cooking class you two can attend together or visiting a venue during the weekend that you both would enjoy. By pursuing activities that move the relationship forward, couples can actively engage with each other without coming close to dissolution.
Marriage should not be seen as a blacklisting statement, but rather a gateway to a committed relationship that protects the inner sanctity of both parties. Lovers must talk openly and honestly and reach mutually acceptable agreements as to how they will handle any attractions they encounter. When done right, couples can thrive amid difficult moments and find redemption in the depths of their loving bond.
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