On rainy nights, when the inky darkness swallowed up the sky outside the window, and the silence of the night lurked around like a lioness stalking its prey, betrayal and despair can sneak past your walls like a thief and whisper lies inside your soul. Those are the loneliest moments in life, when you look into the mirror and question whether you made the right decision on marrying someone.
Marriage should bring two strangers together with love that binds them, but it’s not unheard of how two people are mismatched in this life. Whether they both had a different perspective on living life, or if they just saw the world differently, it never means that those yawning gaps of misunderstanding between the couple will never be fulfilled.
Sometimes, individuals find themselves stuck in a marriage that is doomed before it even begins. It’s hard to determine if you married the wrong person when there’s no endpoint reference – or rather, a benchmark—to determine if that decision was correct. Without being able to compare against another partner, living a life filled with questions over whether you chose the right person or a worried heart over what the future holds for you—there doesn’t seem like much of an answer. But the silver lining here is that some resolutions are achievable.
One possibility is to stay together, but acknowledge the issues within the relationship and make efforts to fix it by understanding both each other's feelings. That includes sitting down to have a real conversation about the root of the issues and the lack of understanding, or lack of commitment or any other problems the couple can identify. Both partners must commit time and energy to understand each other and come to an agreement over situations where they can’t seem to agree. With genuine effort and support from each other, couples can develop a relationship that was never there before.
Of course, some may decide to split up and move on from their marriages. When a relationship has reached its end, the act of leaving can often be one that brings fear, doubt, despair and panic. This doesn’t mean the decision was wrong one to make, however. Though it sounds cliche, leaving an unhappy situation gives opportunity for hearts to heal and for the two people to grow on their own and with other partners, if they wish to pursue. It’s easy to anticipate how it will be after splitting from your partner – chances are time has already passed while carrying the burden of unhappiness. It could be difficult to picture it another way, but you should have faith that life can happen beyond divorce.
Marrying someone can mean picking up pieces of your life and believing that you can create a new lifestyle with this new partner, a sense of finding love and connection. When it’s clear that the relationship isn’t working out and possibilities of fixing it have faded, it’s understandable to contemplate whether the decision to get married was a mistake. With careful consideration and understanding, though, it’s possible to find peace and ease with the result. Facing reality and admitting that things didn’t work out can open up space for healing and a chance to move forward. Even if it were not the best decision, one can start anew and look with optimism down the path set forth, feeling content from everything learnt from the experience.
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