8 Steps to Deepen Your Marriage Through Prayer

Key Takeaways:

Prayer strengthens marital bonds
Fosters empathy and understanding
Creates emotional intimacy and unity
Prayer makes couples more hopeful
Consistency is key in prayer

What does prayer do in a marriage?

Prayer in marriage isn't just a spiritual exercise—it's a way to connect with each other on a deeper level. It's about inviting something greater than yourselves into your relationship, and through that, discovering a new layer of closeness.

Many couples feel a sense of distance creeping in over time. Life happens—busy schedules, stress, arguments that fester. But when we pray together as husband and wife, we're creating space for something else. That time together allows us to be vulnerable, to express hopes and fears, and to reconnect in a meaningful way.

In fact, psychologist Dr. Linda Duncan explains, “Praying together creates emotional transparency, which is crucial for the health of any relationship. It opens the door for difficult conversations to be addressed in a compassionate, loving way.” This transparency is exactly what strengthens the bond between spouses.

When you take the time to pray together, you aren't just solving problems, you're reinforcing your foundation—helping your marriage withstand life's inevitable storms.

Benefits of praying together

The beauty of praying together as a couple is that it helps you grow not only individually but as a team. You're developing a practice that's designed to keep you both grounded and focused on the things that matter most. It transforms your mindset and the way you approach everyday challenges.

Some of the most significant benefits include:

Praying together makes you more forgiving
Praying together keeps you grounded
Praying together helps you to be more empathetic
Praying together helps you feel united
Praying together makes you more hopeful
Praying together can bring deeper intimacy to your marriage
Praying together can improve your marriage

Couples who pray regularly often find their marriage filled with greater peace and a sense of purpose. Whether it's finding forgiveness after an argument or simply creating an emotional safe space, prayer allows you to step back and gain a fresh perspective on your relationship.

Praying together makes you more forgiving

Forgiveness is one of the most challenging yet crucial aspects of any relationship. Holding onto resentment can create emotional distance and tension between spouses, but prayer has a way of softening the heart. When we come together in prayer, we open ourselves up to something bigger than the problem at hand. It allows us to shift from focusing on who's right to what's right for the relationship.

As you pray with your spouse, you acknowledge your shared vulnerability, and this naturally encourages forgiveness. The act of praying helps each partner see things from a different perspective, fostering empathy. The spiritual pause that prayer provides lets you breathe and release the heavy burden of grudges.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, states, “Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a choice. Prayer helps us make that choice by aligning our hearts with compassion and understanding.” When both partners are committed to praying together, forgiveness becomes a natural byproduct.

Praying together keeps you grounded

In a world full of distractions, praying together as a couple keeps you centered on what truly matters. It's easy to get swept away by stress, work, or societal pressures, but when you pause to pray, you reconnect with your values and each other.

Prayer brings you back to the present moment. It serves as a reminder that despite the chaos around you, your marriage is a sacred bond that deserves care and attention. By praying together, you create a sanctuary of peace amid life's noise.

Moreover, prayer fosters humility. You acknowledge that you don't have all the answers, and in that humility, you find strength. Prayer is like an anchor in the storm—it keeps you steady, even when things feel uncertain. When you feel unmoored, taking the time to pray grounds you both in love, faith, and mutual respect.

Praying together helps you to be more empathetic

Empathy is the key to understanding your partner's emotions and needs, but it's not always easy to tap into, especially when you're frustrated or feeling unheard. Praying together creates a space where both of you can listen not only to each other but also to your own inner voice. It slows down the rush of emotions and allows compassion to take the front seat.

When you pray with your spouse, you're both openly sharing your hopes, fears, and struggles. It's not just about speaking words, but about deeply listening—truly hearing the heart behind the words. This level of sharing strengthens emotional bonds and helps you both step into each other's shoes with greater ease.

As Dr. John Gottman, renowned marriage expert, says, “Couples who show empathy have a far better chance of weathering storms together.” Prayer helps nurture this empathy by giving you a moment of stillness to reflect on your spouse's perspective. That reflection leads to greater patience and kindness in daily interactions, making it easier to address conflicts without letting them escalate.

Praying together helps you feel united

Unity in a marriage doesn't mean agreeing on everything, but rather walking together through life as a team. When couples pray together, it fosters a sense of unity that transcends daily disagreements or differing viewpoints. You may come from different backgrounds or have distinct personalities, but in prayer, you find common ground.

Prayer creates a sense of partnership. It shifts the focus from individual desires to collective well-being. You're no longer thinking in terms of “me” and “you,” but rather “us.” This shared spiritual connection helps bridge the gaps that can often arise in a marriage.

One of the most beautiful things about praying as a couple is that it cultivates a sense of purpose. You are united not only by love but by a shared commitment to nurturing your relationship and helping each other grow. This unity becomes a powerful force that strengthens your bond and enables you to face challenges together, rather than apart.

Praying together makes you more hopeful

Hope is a powerful force in any relationship. It gives you the strength to keep moving forward, even when things get tough. Praying together as a couple injects a sense of hope into your marriage. It reminds you both that, no matter what obstacles you're facing, there is always a path forward.

Prayer shifts your mindset from dwelling on problems to focusing on possibilities. It creates a space where you can both share your dreams for the future, no matter how uncertain things may seem. By vocalizing these hopes and desires together, you're reinforcing the belief that you can overcome challenges and reach those goals side by side.

When you pray, you're not just hoping for good things to come, you're actively seeking strength, guidance, and patience. This collective optimism boosts your relationship and gives you the energy to tackle life's uncertainties. Prayer keeps your hearts lifted, and that hope becomes contagious—helping you both stay positive, even during the rough patches.

Praying together can bring deeper intimacy to your marriage

Intimacy in marriage is often thought of in physical or emotional terms, but spiritual intimacy can be just as profound. Praying together deepens your connection in ways that go beyond words or physical closeness. It's an intimate experience that exposes your vulnerabilities and allows your partner to see your soul in its raw, unfiltered form.

When you pray together, you're sharing not just your thoughts, but your innermost fears, desires, and hopes. This level of openness builds trust and deepens emotional intimacy. There's something incredibly powerful about allowing your spouse to witness this side of you, and vice versa.

Moreover, prayer fosters a sense of emotional safety within the relationship. When you know your partner is praying with you and for you, it strengthens the sense of being fully seen and fully loved. The result is a marriage where both partners feel more connected on all levels—spiritually, emotionally, and even physically.

Praying together can improve your marriage

Marriage, like anything worthwhile, requires effort and dedication. While love is the foundation, maintaining that love takes intentional acts of care. One of the most impactful ways to improve your marriage is by establishing a prayer routine together. It allows you to build on that foundation of love by adding layers of trust, empathy, and resilience.

When couples pray, they often find themselves more aligned in their goals, both personal and relational. It encourages open communication and helps smooth over the rough edges of disagreements. Instead of focusing on problems, you can look for solutions together.

Studies have shown that couples who engage in regular prayer are more likely to report higher levels of satisfaction in their marriage. That's because prayer cultivates a shared sense of purpose, bringing you closer not just spiritually, but emotionally and mentally as well. By making prayer a priority, you're also making each other a priority. And that alone can create profound positive changes in your marriage.

8 simple steps for praying with your spouse

Praying together might feel awkward at first, especially if it's not something you're used to doing. But like anything, it gets easier with practice. Here are eight simple steps to help you get started:

Create a prayer schedule – Make a commitment to set aside time for prayer. Whether it's daily or weekly, consistency is key.
Start with a silent prayer – Sometimes, words aren't needed. Begin your prayer sessions with a moment of silence to center yourselves.
Keep it short – Especially in the beginning, keep your prayers brief. This helps reduce any anxiety or pressure.
Don't judge your spouse for praying differently – Everyone has their own style of prayer. Respect each other's approach and remain open-hearted.
Refrain from preaching – The purpose of prayer is connection, not correction. Avoid using prayer as a way to subtly lecture your spouse.
Actively listen – Prayer is a two-way conversation. Take the time to listen to each other, as well as to the silence between the words.
Pray about everything – From big life decisions to small daily concerns, bring all aspects of your life into prayer. It fosters a stronger bond.
Be committed to remaining consistent – Even if you miss a session or life gets busy, return to your prayer routine. Consistency builds habits, and habits strengthen your connection.

By following these steps, you'll find that praying together becomes less about the mechanics and more about the deep emotional and spiritual connection it brings.

Create a prayer schedule

Like anything that brings long-term benefits, praying together works best when it's a consistent practice. The first step is to create a prayer schedule that works for both of you. This doesn't have to be rigid or overly structured, but it should be something you both commit to regularly.

Maybe it's first thing in the morning before the day gets busy, or perhaps it's in the evening when you can reflect on the day's events. Find a time that suits your lifestyles and stick to it. The key is to make it a part of your routine, so it becomes a natural part of your relationship.

Setting a prayer schedule also shows your spouse that they are a priority. By carving out this time, you're communicating that your relationship and your spiritual connection are important. Over time, this regular rhythm of prayer can create a stronger bond and a greater sense of unity.

Start with a silent prayer

Not every prayer has to be filled with words. In fact, starting with a silent prayer can be one of the most profound ways to connect with your spouse and with yourself. Silence invites reflection, allowing both of you to be present in the moment without the pressure of finding the “right” things to say.

By beginning in silence, you give yourselves the space to calm your minds and open your hearts. It's a moment to settle any anxiety, release tension, and simply be together in the presence of peace. This quiet time allows both partners to align their thoughts and intentions before moving into verbal prayer.

Silence is powerful because it speaks without words. It can create a deep sense of understanding between you, even when nothing is being said. This small step can set the tone for the rest of your prayer session, making it more meaningful and connected.

Keep it short

When you're just starting out, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the idea of praying together, especially if you're worried about saying the "right" things. That's why keeping it short is key in the beginning. There's no need to feel like your prayers have to be lengthy or filled with eloquent words. In fact, short, simple prayers can be just as powerful—sometimes even more so.

The goal is to connect, not to impress. A brief prayer that speaks from the heart can have a deeper impact than a long, drawn-out one. You might start by simply expressing gratitude for each other or asking for guidance in a specific area of your lives. Over time, as you both become more comfortable, the prayers may naturally evolve, but there's no pressure to rush into it.

Remember, the quality of your prayer time isn't measured by its length. It's about the sincerity behind the words and the connection it fosters between you. So keep it short, stay genuine, and let it grow from there.

Don't judge your spouse for praying differently

It's important to remember that everyone has their own way of praying. Some people might be more vocal and expressive, while others might prefer quiet, introspective prayers. You and your spouse may not pray the same way, and that's perfectly okay. What matters is the intention behind the prayer, not the style.

Judging your spouse for how they pray can create unnecessary tension and even discourage them from wanting to pray with you. Instead, embrace each other's differences. Recognize that prayer is a deeply personal experience, and what feels right for one person might not resonate in the same way for the other.

It's also important to avoid comparisons. Your spouse's way of connecting spiritually doesn't have to match yours. In fact, these differences can enrich your prayer life by offering new perspectives and deepening your mutual understanding. Support each other and focus on the fact that you're both making an effort to grow together spiritually.

Refrain from preaching

Prayer is a space for connection, not correction. While it might be tempting to use prayer time as an opportunity to point out areas where your spouse could improve, this can quickly turn into a source of conflict. Preaching to your partner during prayer shifts the focus away from the shared spiritual moment and turns it into a one-sided critique.

The goal of praying together is to foster unity and emotional closeness. If you feel the need to address issues in your marriage, prayer is not the time or place to do so. Instead, approach these conversations separately with love and respect. During prayer, concentrate on what you both need as a couple, not on individual faults or shortcomings.

Prayer should lift each other up, not tear anyone down. By refraining from preaching, you ensure that both you and your spouse feel valued, heard, and supported in your journey together.

Actively listen

Listening during prayer is just as important as speaking. It's easy to get caught up in the words and miss the deeper meaning behind them, but active listening helps you truly connect with your spouse. When you actively listen, you're not just hearing the words—they're sinking in, creating space for empathy and understanding.

Active listening means focusing entirely on your partner's prayer without interrupting or thinking ahead to what you'll say next. It's about being fully present in the moment and absorbing the emotions and intentions behind your spouse's words.

Through active listening, you also begin to recognize your partner's emotional needs and concerns. This awareness strengthens your bond and fosters a deeper sense of closeness. You'll find that by simply listening with an open heart, you'll gain insight into your spouse's hopes, struggles, and desires, allowing your prayer time to become even more meaningful.

Pray about everything

Prayer doesn't have to be limited to major life events or crises. In fact, praying about everything—from the small, everyday concerns to the big, life-changing moments—creates a more consistent connection between you and your spouse. It helps you develop a habit of turning to each other and to a higher power for guidance in every aspect of life.

Whether it's gratitude for a quiet evening together, concerns about work stress, or hopes for your future, bringing all these elements into prayer helps foster a sense of partnership. It keeps the lines of communication open, not just between you and your spouse, but within your spiritual lives as well.

By praying about the little things, you also remind yourselves to be thankful for the small blessings. It reinforces a sense of appreciation and helps keep your relationship grounded in gratitude. Praying about everything creates a deeper, more holistic sense of connection, both spiritually and emotionally.

Be committed to remaining consistent

Consistency is the cornerstone of any successful habit, and praying together as a couple is no different. It's easy to start with good intentions but fall off track when life gets busy or challenging. However, remaining consistent with your prayer time is key to making it a lasting part of your relationship.

Even if you miss a day or two, or if a prayer session feels rushed, don't let it discourage you. Return to your practice with a renewed sense of commitment. The benefits of praying together, like emotional intimacy and strengthened connection, only grow over time as you maintain consistency.

By making prayer a priority, you're showing that your relationship is a priority. Over time, you'll find that the regular act of coming together in prayer becomes an anchor that helps you weather life's storms and celebrate its joys. It's this dedication that will solidify prayer as a foundation of your marriage.

Conclusion

Praying together as a couple has the potential to transform your marriage. It's not just about connecting spiritually, but about fostering empathy, understanding, forgiveness, and emotional intimacy. When you take the time to pray with your spouse, you're investing in the long-term health of your relationship. You're building trust, deepening your bond, and creating a strong foundation that can help you navigate the ups and downs of life.

Whether you're new to praying together or have made it a part of your routine for years, the benefits are undeniable. Prayer has the unique ability to bring couples closer, aligning their hearts and minds toward a shared vision of love, peace, and partnership. It helps you focus on what truly matters—each other.

As with any meaningful practice, consistency is key. Start small, be patient with yourselves, and remember that the act of praying together is a journey, not a destination. Through prayer, you can discover new depths in your marriage, enrich your emotional connection, and create a lasting sense of unity.

Ultimately, praying together isn't about perfecting a ritual—it's about growing together, spiritually and emotionally. Embrace the process, keep an open heart, and watch as your marriage is strengthened through this sacred practice.

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