10 Must-See Movies with Marriage

A Relationship Therapist's Perspective on Marriage in the Movies

As a relationship therapist for more than two decades, I've had the opportunity to guide countless couples through the labyrinth of love, commitment, and marriage. Time and time again, I've seen the value of cultural narratives in shaping our views and expectations of romantic relationships. Notably, movies, with their poignant narratives and colorful characters, can offer profound insight into the intricacies of marriage. This journey into the world of 'movies with marriage' is not merely an exploration of art imitating life but a reservoir of relationship advice for couples at various stages of their journey.

There's something incredibly compelling about watching a movie marriage unfold. We root for the couple during their high moments and feel a sting in our hearts during their lows. These cinematic experiences don't just entertain us—they teach us. From the importance of communication to the art of compromise, every film featuring a married couple can provide us with a roadmap to navigate our relationships better.

Therefore, this article will take you through ten must-see movies that feature marriages in their storylines. We'll examine each film, distill the relationship lessons they offer, and provide actionable advice that you can apply to your love life. Are you ready to embark on this cinematic journey? Let's dive in.

1. The Classic Romance: "The Notebook" (2004)

"The Notebook" is often lauded as one of the most romantic films of our generation. The movie paints a poignant picture of marriage through the lens of an older couple, Noah and Allie, who share a deep and enduring love.

One significant aspect of their relationship that stands out is the couple's unwavering commitment to each other. Despite the hurdles and roadblocks life throws their way, they consistently choose each other, demonstrating that love is a choice, not just an emotion. This is a key takeaway for any marriage: commitment is a daily decision, and choosing your partner, day in and day out, is what keeps the marriage flame burning brightly.

The movie also highlights the importance of remembering shared experiences. As Allie battles dementia in her old age, Noah keeps their love story alive by reading their shared history to her. This underscores the importance of creating and cherishing shared memories in a marriage. Shared experiences provide a common ground that strengthens the bond between couples, acting as a glue that holds the relationship together during challenging times.

So, here's your relationship advice from "The Notebook": Make a daily commitment to your partner, invest time and effort in creating shared memories, and cherish them. Remember, a strong marriage is not just about riding out the storms but also about basking in the sun together.

But love and commitment aren't the only ingredients for a successful marriage. Our next movie on the list explores another crucial aspect of marital relationships.

2. The Power of Friendship: "When Harry Met Sally" (1989)

One of the most iconic romantic comedies, "When Harry Met Sally", opens up a dialogue on an essential but often overlooked aspect of marriage – friendship. Through the evolving relationship between the film's eponymous characters, the movie explores the idea of friendship as the backbone of a romantic relationship.

Harry and Sally start as friends, and their relationship deepens over time, transforming into love. The film's central premise that men and women can be friends becomes a lesson in understanding the value of friendship in a marriage. The rapport they share, the comfort level, the shared jokes and experiences all contribute to a bond that becomes the basis of their romantic relationship.

Often in marriages, couples are so consumed by their roles as spouses that they forget to be friends. The lack of a friendly bond may lead to communication gaps and misunderstandings. Being friends with your spouse means sharing not just love but also camaraderie, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of each other's personalities. Friendship within a marriage also promotes open communication, shared interests, and mutual growth.

So, the relationship advice "When Harry Met Sally" offers us is this: Nurture your friendship with your spouse. Encourage open communication, build shared interests, and keep the spirit of mutual respect alive. Remember, your partner is not just your lover, but your friend too.

Friendship and commitment provide a strong foundation for a marriage. Yet, it's not all smooth sailing. Our next film throws light on some of the trials marriages often face.

3. Navigating Through Struggles: "Blue Valentine" (2010)

"Blue Valentine" is a poignant portrayal of the rise and fall of a marriage. It's a raw and brutally honest depiction of a couple, Dean and Cindy, who grapple with fading passion and escalating conflicts in their marriage. While it's far from a feel-good movie, it does offer some potent relationship advice through its narrative.

One of the most significant issues highlighted in the film is the lack of effective communication. Dean and Cindy fail to express their needs, desires, and frustrations to each other, leading to a buildup of resentment and conflict. Their inability to effectively communicate fuels their disagreements and creates a wide chasm in their relationship. This narrative demonstrates how crucial communication is to a successful marriage. Misunderstandings, conflicts, and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but the way couples handle them makes a significant difference.

The movie also explores the danger of letting external circumstances dictate the course of your relationship. Dean and Cindy allow their struggles to consume them, rather than working together to navigate through their difficulties. It serves as a reminder that it's essential for couples to stand together, especially during tough times. Relationships aren't always going to be perfect, and marriages will face challenges. However, working through these challenges together, as a team, can strengthen your bond.

Here's the advice "Blue Valentine" provides: Prioritize effective communication in your relationship and work together as a team during tough times. Remember, storms are easier to weather when you're not alone.

While overcoming challenges together is crucial, our next movie explores an equally important aspect of marital relationships.

4. The Art of Compromise: "The Break-Up" (2006)

"The Break-Up", featuring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn as a couple going through a rocky split, may seem like an odd choice for a list that explores marriage advice. However, underneath its comedic exterior, this movie offers critical insights into why relationships fail and how they can be saved.

The movie shows the breakdown of a relationship due to an inability to compromise. Brooke, played by Aniston, and Gary, played by Vaughn, consistently fail to meet each other halfway, leading to the eventual end of their relationship. They're stuck in a cycle of expecting change without being willing to change themselves, which is a surefire recipe for disaster in any relationship.

Compromise is one of the pillars of a successful marriage. It's about finding a balance, a middle ground that respects and acknowledges the needs and wants of both partners. Without compromise, resentment builds, leading to conflict and, ultimately, a breakdown of the relationship. It's essential to remember that compromise is not about losing; it's about choosing the relationship over your ego.

So, the wisdom we glean from "The Break-Up" is this: Practice the art of compromise. Remember that a successful marriage is not about winning arguments but about maintaining peace and harmony. A little give and take can go a long way in building a strong, lasting relationship.

The art of compromise is one piece of the puzzle. Our next movie brings another crucial piece to the forefront.

5. The Importance of Emotional Intimacy: "Bridges of Madison County" (1995)

"Bridges of Madison County" is a classic tale of love, longing, and missed opportunities. While the central romance between Francesca and Robert is poignant, Francesca's marriage to Richard provides some crucial relationship insights.

The disconnect between Francesca and Richard is palpable in the film, despite the lack of overt conflict. The issue at the heart of their relationship is a lack of emotional intimacy. They function well as a team, managing their household and raising their children, but they lack the emotional connection that forms the essence of a romantic relationship.

Emotional intimacy is about more than just being in love or sharing a life together. It's about deeply understanding your partner, sharing your innermost feelings, and having an emotional connection that goes beyond the surface level. Without emotional intimacy, a relationship can feel empty and unfulfilling, regardless of how well the practical aspects of the relationship are managed.

Therefore, the advice from "Bridges of Madison County" is this: Foster emotional intimacy in your relationship. Take time to truly understand your partner's feelings, share your emotions, and build a deeper emotional connection. It's the emotional bond that gives depth to a relationship and makes it truly fulfilling.

While emotional intimacy deepens a relationship, our next movie explores how keeping the spark alive is equally important.

6. Keeping the Spark Alive: "Date Night" (2010)

"Date Night" is a comedy that provides an entertaining and insightful look into long-term relationships. The movie follows a couple, Phil and Claire Foster, who find themselves stuck in the monotony of their married life. To break the routine, they plan a date night, which turns into a hilarious misadventure.

The main takeaway from "Date Night" is the importance of keeping the spark alive in a relationship. Over time, marriages can become routine, with couples falling into the same patterns day after day. While there's comfort in familiarity, the monotony can often lead to a loss of the passion and excitement that once defined the relationship.

Breaking the routine, trying new things together, and investing time and effort into rekindling the spark can significantly improve the quality of a marriage. It's important to remember that the romance doesn't end after the honeymoon phase; it's something that needs to be actively nurtured throughout the relationship.

So, here's the relationship advice from "Date Night": Keep the spark alive. Regularly invest time and effort into your relationship, try new things together, and don't let the monotony of daily life dampen the romance. Remember, a little adventure can go a long way in keeping the love alive.

While keeping the spark alive is important, our next film reminds us of the need for individual growth within a marriage.

7. Prioritizing Individual Growth: "Eat Pray Love" (2010)

"Eat Pray Love," based on the best-selling memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert, is a journey of self-discovery that offers significant relationship insights. The protagonist, Liz, realizes that she has lost her sense of self in her marriage and decides to embark on a journey of self-exploration, which eventually leads her to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

One crucial lesson this movie teaches us is the importance of individual growth within a relationship. It's easy to lose oneself in a marriage, to become so enmeshed in the relationship that personal growth takes a back seat. However, it's essential to remember that a healthy marriage comprises two individuals who grow together while also growing individually.

Prioritizing individual growth does not mean growing apart; instead, it leads to a stronger, more balanced relationship. When both partners can maintain their individuality and personal growth, it enriches the relationship and fosters mutual respect and admiration.

So, the advice "Eat Pray Love" offers is this: Prioritize individual growth. Encourage your partner's personal development and ensure you invest time and effort in your personal growth. Remember, a successful marriage is about two individuals growing together, not losing their individuality.

While individual growth is important, our next movie explores the value of empathy in a marriage.

8. The Value of Empathy: "The Story of Us" (1999)

"The Story of Us" is a film that examines the highs and lows of marriage with raw honesty. The story follows Ben and Katie Jordan, a couple who, after 15 years of marriage, grapple with the question of whether their love can survive their differences and conflicts.

The film shines a spotlight on the importance of empathy in a relationship. Throughout their struggles, Ben and Katie fail to understand each other's perspectives, leading to numerous conflicts. Their inability to empathize with each other's feelings and experiences adds fuel to the fire, causing their relationship to deteriorate.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of your partner, is a crucial element of a successful marriage. It bridges the gap of understanding, helps in resolving conflicts, and strengthens the bond between partners. Showing empathy isn't about agreeing with your partner all the time; it's about acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences.

So, the advice "The Story of Us" gives us is this: Cultivate empathy in your relationship. Try to understand your partner's perspective, validate their feelings, and acknowledge their experiences. Remember, empathy is the bridge that connects two hearts.

While empathy connects hearts, our next film highlights the importance of trust in a relationship.

9. The Foundation of Trust: "The Vow" (2012)

"The Vow" is a heart-wrenching tale of a couple, Leo and Paige, whose marriage is put to the test when Paige suffers memory loss after a car accident. Leo's tireless efforts to win back Paige's love despite her amnesia offer valuable insights into the role of trust in a relationship.

Trust forms the bedrock of any relationship, and it's especially vital in a marriage. The movie portrays how Leo's unwavering trust in their love and his commitment to their marriage, despite Paige's memory loss, forms the crux of their relationship.

Trust is not just about fidelity; it's about faith in your partner's love, respect for your relationship, and a belief in your shared history and future. Trust provides a safe space in a relationship, allowing love to bloom. When trust is broken, it can be difficult to rebuild, but not impossible. It requires open communication, patience, and consistent effort from both partners.

Here's the relationship advice "The Vow" offers: Build a strong foundation of trust. Have faith in your partner's love, communicate openly, and make a consistent effort to maintain and strengthen trust in your relationship. Remember, trust, once established, is the bedrock of a lasting, loving marriage.

Trust forms the foundation of a relationship, and our final movie illustrates the importance of maintaining a balance of power in a marriage.

10. Balancing Power: "The Queen" (2006)

"The Queen" may not be the conventional choice for a list about marriage advice, but the relationship between Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip offers valuable insights. The film highlights the struggles and nuances of maintaining a balanced power dynamic in a marriage.

In a marriage, the balance of power should ideally be equal. However, in reality, this balance can often tilt, leading to conflicts and resentment. "The Queen" shows how Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip navigate their unique situation, where the balance of power in their public lives is skewed, yet they strive to maintain equilibrium in their personal relationship.

Ensuring a balanced power dynamic is not about who 'wears the pants' in the relationship; it's about respecting each other's roles, opinions, and decisions. It's about treating each other as equals and making decisions together. A skewed power dynamic can lead to resentment, conflict, and dissatisfaction in a relationship.

So, the advice we glean from "The Queen" is this: Strive for a balanced power dynamic in your relationship. Respect each other's roles, opinions, and decisions, and make decisions together. Remember, a healthy marriage thrives on mutual respect and equality.

As we conclude our exploration of marriage advice from movies, let's look back on the valuable lessons these films have offered us.

Conclusion

As a relationship expert, I've seen couples face many challenges throughout their journey. These movies, each in its unique way, offer nuggets of wisdom that can help navigate the complex terrain of marriage. From my professional experience, I've found that taking these lessons to heart and applying them in our relationships can lead to a more fulfilling, healthy, and lasting marriage.

It's important to remember that every relationship is unique. What works for one couple might not work for another. But with open communication, empathy, trust, and mutual respect, you can build a strong, loving, and lasting marriage.

As our movie journey has shown us, love is about growing together, supporting each other, and continually striving to understand and respect each other. So, next time you watch a movie, look beyond the surface, and you might just find some valuable relationship advice hidden in the story.

For further reading on relationships and marriage, I recommend the following books: "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman, and "Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson. These books offer valuable insights and practical advice to navigate the beautiful journey of marriage.