Lost love, like a stone cast upon the waters, ripples and cascades until it breaks against the shore in a sea of unbearable emotion and sorrow. You find yourself alone in a golden cage, sorrowing over the love that you lost. The days, weeks, and even months may go by overwhelmingly, though it almost feels like time is standing still, as though you can’t bear to move onward in time lest you forget what kind of love you have known before.
No one can truly prepare themselves for this type of pain and anguish; radiating out of yours hope and ambition, corroding your strength and purpose. It may feel as though you are in an endless loop of misery, but trust that beyond the stormy clouds, past the peals of thunder and lightning, there is brightness.
It is important to prioritize your wellbeing, building a fortress of support for yourself. Your mental and physical health will strengthen you through your struggle, so remember to stay hydrated, get enough rest, eat your meals regularly, and practice mindfulness. These habits will promote healing as a part of the process, as small steps in the right direction to understand yourself better.
You must also be mindful of who and what you allow within your space; this includes media outlets and social circles. Much of our world capitalizes on the shock factor, so pay close attention to what you are consuming. Limit access to those who may only serve to further upset you while sparing no space for toxicity or negativity; surround yourself with people and things that will encourage and guide you to find peace and contentment in the single moments that life presents.
You may feel as if the torment of your woes will never end, as if you aren’t able to function as you once did, but understand that you don’t have to pretend. You have been heartbroken, perhaps irreparably so, and that is okay. Don’t let anyone minimize your hurt in the name of trying to cheer you up, nor should you apologize for wanting to slow down the course of the day. Intended or not, the person has moved on, leaving you in unfamiliar territory, alone in a golden cage, having to rebuild and regrow your world anew. From the ashes of what used to be, allow yourself to become something entirely different.
Take this agonizing point in your life as an opportunity to figure out what you want for yourself, without relying on anyone else's opinion or expectations. Create a new story for yourself and don’t blow a deadline that you have set for yourself; time will pass anyway, so procrastination wont help you. Allow yourself the privilege to feel—to cry, to shout, to laugh, to think, to be overwhelmed, to heal—so you may gain the capacity to accept your truth, whatever that may be.
At the end of it all, you must look forward with hope, with positivity, and with ambition. Acceptance at this point in time may feel impossible and that is natural. But time and time again, when life takes away whatever it is that you found joy in, there is always something else to look forward to, some other kind of light to find a way into your life. Nobody can erase the memories of the love you lost and nor should they. That doesn’t mean you cannot recognize the beauty that the universe has to offer.
It may feel like the greatest agony longing for something you can’t have and even more arduous fighting the urge to hang onto its ghost. Ultimately it’s your choice to accept that the love you have known has come to pass and that the past no longer lives in the present. This too shall pass, like the waves eventually finding its way to shore, and you have the autonomy to recognize when it is time to grant yourself a new lease on life.
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