With Friends Like These: Making Peace After an Unexpected Conflict

We had such plans for the weekend ahead. Just two days devoted to the focus of having fun, catching up on life and enjoying each other's company for a much-needed break. But when we got back, the car ride home was tense with an unbearably stifling blanket of silence.

What had happened? How did our long-awaited weekend away turn so sour that Monday morning felt like I'd jumped into a puddle of despair?

It began slowly. First, it was just a comment made in jest that was taken the wrong way. Then, what started as a disagreement gradually morphed into a full-blown argument that neither of us wanted to budge from. What had been a fun and productive weekend eventually left us feeling frustrated and disappointed.

Compounding the problem was we were both so caught up in being ''right'' that we failed to give each other the benefit of the doubt or appreciate the other person's perspective. We were angry instead of curious, defensive instead of listening.

The core principal of friendship is maintaining openness and openness is not possible if one or both partners are avoiding an issue through aggression, avoidance or passiveness. Without this willingness to confront what went wrong, we quickly became mired in emotional quicksand.

The most important thing we need to remember in a situation such as this is that communication is key. Lashing out and talking over each other, or bottling it all up and pretending that nothing happened and nothing needs to be addressed, won't help us move forward.

Rather than straining to rebuild our friendship too quickly or avoiding addressing the real issues, we need to sit down, possibly with a third party mediator if the conflict feels particularly loaded, and have a frank discussion. Letting go of pride and blaming the other person should be our topmost priority, despite how ego-heavy approaching the conversation may feel.

Expressing how the weekend impacted you in a respectful way can facilitate a path toward resolution. This has to be done without self-righteousness, though - no one is expecting us to be perfect. We must just be vulnerable with our feelings, allowing ourselves to be open and honest about how the experience has left us feeling.

In turn, it's also important for us to express our willingness to forgive. We know that friendships are often resilient and forgiving, no matter how difficult the conversation may be.

It's natural that a weekend away could result in a friendship timebomb, but taking the time to talk it through calmly and with love and compassion can help us to get our relationship back on track.

By coming together in a non-threatening space, we can shed light on the causes of tension and work together to find a resolution. Difficulties often arise between friends, even the closest ones, and it's beneficial to keep that in mind. We can revisit that cozy campfire or barbeque or whichever part of the getaway brought us overflowing joy, commit to a thorough explanation of why things went wrong and make an effort to start again, stronger than before.