How Do I Tell Him That I Have Strong Feelings For Him Without Losing Our Friendship?

Dear eNotAlone: I have had a crush on this guy since I met him last year and it just seems to be getting stronger. He is so sweet and kind and I don't want to lose the friendship we have developed. On the other hand, we both get so excited when we hang out and I find myself wanting more than just a relationship. I feel like if I don't do something soon, I will end up losing out on any chance of us being together. How can I tell him that I have strong feelings for him without losing our friendship?

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The most important thing to remember when expressing your feelings to someone you care about is to be honest and confident in yourself. You don't need to worry about losing your friendship because it is built on honesty and trust. But before you say anything, make sure that you are comfortable with the potential outcome. It is okay to take your time and carefully consider how you want to approach the situation.

It may be helpful to start by figuring out what you think you want in a relationship with this person. Are you looking for something casual or something more serious? You need to know what you want long-term so you can express this to your crush. Once you know exactly what type of relationship you want, it will be much easier to communicate this to them.

When it comes to actually having this conversation with your crush, timing is everything. It's best to pick a time when you won't be interrupted and can focus on the conversation. This could mean waiting until you go out on a date or having a private conversation with them in a relaxed atmosphere. Having space and privacy will ensure that you both can give each other undivided attention and increase the chance of a successful conversation.

Also remember to keep the conversation focused on your feelings and expectations. Avoid pressures and ultimatums such as "If you don't ____ I'll never talk to you again" or "You should think about this for a couple of days before you answer me". Nothing good ever comes from putting someone on the spot. Let your crush know that you are open to whatever they decide, but make sure you clearly communicate how you feel and why.

Once the conversation has concluded, stay open to how they respond. If they are not interested, be respectful of their decision and thank them for taking the time to talk with you. Accepting their outlook and remaining gracious will help maintain the strength of your relationship.

Similarly, if your crush does reciprocate your feelings, it's important to remember that there are still boundaries. Take things slow and really get to know each other. Talk through any anxieties or concerns you may have, no matter how small; it is important to build a solid foundation of trust and understanding.

No matter the outcome, expressing your feelings honestly and openly will help you get closer to your crush and strengthen the bond between you both. You are courageous for taking the risk of being vulnerable. The beauty of communication and relationships is that you never know what it may lead to. Stay positive and trust in yourself, and you will work through this situation in no time.