5 Signs Your Best Friend Has a Crush on You (What to Do Next)

Key Takeaways:

• Recognize signs of a growing crush
• Evaluate your friendship's strength
• Gauge the chances of romance
• Spot signs they may like you
• Communicate openly and thoughtfully

Confused Feelings Towards a Best Friend

Finding yourself suddenly thinking, "I have a crush on my best friend" can be incredibly confusing. It can feel like you're walking an emotional tightrope, afraid to lose the close connection you already have. We've all been there—grappling with the whirlwind of emotions, wondering if it's just a phase or something more meaningful. You might feel excited and terrified at the same time. Why? Because relationships with friends who mean so much to us can feel fragile, and the stakes seem incredibly high.

But, what exactly is happening here? Why do these feelings arise? According to psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron, our brains tend to blur the lines between deep emotional connections and romantic love, especially when we trust someone and spend significant time with them. Friendship and romantic love often live close to each other in the brain, making it challenging to separate them. As Brené Brown puts it, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” When we open ourselves up to our friends, it's not unusual for romantic feelings to follow.

So, how can you figure out what you're truly feeling? Is it just a temporary crush, or is it something deeper? Let's dive into that first gut feeling.

What Do You Feel Around Them?

When you're around them, are you feeling something different lately? You may notice a subtle excitement building up before you see them, or you may catch yourself thinking about them even when you're apart. These are typical signs that your emotions are shifting. The butterflies in your stomach, the sudden self-consciousness about how you look around them—these are clear indicators of attraction.

Think about how you feel when they compliment you. Do you light up inside? Do you find yourself replaying those moments in your head, overanalyzing every word they said? It's important to be honest with yourself here. If your feelings seem more intense than usual, then you might be developing a crush.

According to psychologist Dorothy Tennov, these early feelings of excitement and uncertainty are often linked to a psychological phenomenon called “limerence.” Limerence is that obsessive infatuation you feel in the early stages of attraction—an overwhelming need for reciprocation. It's why you might find yourself constantly wondering, “Do they feel the same way?”

Understanding these feelings can be the first step toward clarity. Pay attention to the small details, your reactions, and most importantly, how they make you feel when you're together.

Signs You're Developing a Crush

It starts small—maybe it's the extra care you suddenly put into how you look when you know you'll see them. You find yourself thinking about them more often, replaying your last conversation in your head and analyzing every little thing they said. There's a shift in your internal dialogue, where once there was comfort, now there's nervous excitement. Do you catch yourself wondering what they think of you? Or imagining scenarios where your friendship becomes something more?

These subtle changes are all signs you're developing a crush. Psychologists describe this shift as the emotional attachment growing deeper, where the friend you once saw as "just a friend" starts to evoke stronger romantic feelings. You begin to care about their opinion in ways you didn't before. You might even notice jealousy creeping in when they mention someone they're interested in. That's a sure sign your heart is moving into different territory.

Behaviorally, you'll start looking for reasons to be around them more. You may even find yourself agreeing to do things you wouldn't normally enjoy, just to spend more time together. Your body reacts too—heart racing, palms sweating, or feeling more self-conscious about your actions. If these things sound familiar, you're probably developing more than just friendly feelings.

How Deep is Your Friendship?

Before jumping to any conclusions about your crush, it's important to reflect on the depth of your existing friendship. Is this someone you truly know and trust? Or is the relationship more surface level, based on convenience or circumstance?

Strong friendships are built on shared experiences, vulnerability, and trust. If you're already talking to them about your deepest fears and dreams, your connection is rooted in more than casual banter. But if you realize that your bond isn't that deep yet, consider whether the crush is based on who they are or who you imagine them to be.

The deeper the friendship, the higher the stakes. This makes navigating a potential crush even more complicated. You're risking not only your feelings but also a meaningful, existing connection. However, deeper friendships also provide a solid foundation for romantic relationships. If your friendship is strong enough to handle open conversations, it might be worth exploring whether your crush could turn into something more.

Is It Just Friendship or Something More?

This is the real question, isn't it? How do you know if what you're feeling is just a strong friendship or something that goes beyond? The line between friendship and love can be incredibly blurry, especially when you've already built a close connection. You might feel like you're reading too much into their actions or confusing platonic affection with romantic interest.

One way to differentiate the two is by examining how you feel when they're not around. Are you missing them constantly, or does the feeling subside once you're focused on something else? Do you feel a physical attraction or longing to be closer to them, not just emotionally but also in proximity? Physical attraction often sets romantic feelings apart from simple friendship, though it's not always a determining factor.

Body language plays a big role in deciphering feelings. Are they more touchy than usual? Does your heart skip a beat when they brush past you? If there's been a noticeable shift in physical closeness or an underlying tension that wasn't there before, it could be more than just friendship.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon suggests paying attention to the level of exclusivity in your relationship. If you both seem to be prioritizing time with each other over other friends, that could indicate a desire for deeper intimacy. It's not just about hanging out; it's about being with each other in a way that feels irreplaceable.

Judging the Chances of Love

Before diving headfirst into confessing your feelings, it's important to assess the situation realistically. Ask yourself: what are the chances they feel the same way? This isn't about overanalyzing every word or gesture, but rather taking a step back to objectively consider the relationship dynamics.

Start by reflecting on their actions. Have they been acting differently around you? Do they seem to seek you out more, text you just to talk, or engage in deeper conversations than they used to? These are all positive signs that their feelings could be changing too.

Another clue to consider is whether they've shown signs of jealousy. If they act distant or upset when you mention another person you're interested in, it's likely because they're experiencing feelings of romantic attachment themselves. The same goes for if they've started making future plans with you more frequently—whether it's something as small as planning a movie night weeks ahead or as big as talking about trips together.

Sometimes, though, the best way to gauge the potential for love is by simply asking yourself if the risk is worth it. A crush is one thing, but a relationship built on mutual respect and admiration is something else entirely. If you're both emotionally available and the signs are pointing toward mutual interest, it might be worth exploring what could come next. After all, you miss 100% of the chances you don't take, as Wayne Gretzky famously said (and as Michael Scott famously quoted).

What Do You Do Together That Feels Different?

Think about the things you do together now compared to before these feelings started bubbling up. Has something shifted? Do your hangouts feel more like dates? Maybe you two used to just casually grab coffee, but now you're finding yourself at dinner with candlelight or spending weekends together. Or perhaps you're choosing activities that give you more alone time—whether that's watching a movie together at their place or taking long walks where it's just the two of you.

Even the most innocent activities can start feeling different when feelings get involved. There's an extra layer of meaning attached to everything, from a simple text exchange to spending time together in a group. The way you interpret these moments might have changed too. Are you reading more into their words or actions than before? If so, this could be a sign that what you're doing together is taking on new significance in your eyes.

Sometimes the shift is so subtle that you don't even realize it at first. You might find yourself gravitating toward activities where you can bond one-on-one rather than in larger group settings. Suddenly, hanging out feels more intentional, almost like a prelude to something deeper. Take note of those moments, because they're often where the heart starts nudging the relationship in a new direction.

The Subtle Shift in Dynamic

It's not always a huge, obvious change that alerts you to the fact that things are evolving between you and your best friend. Sometimes, the shift is subtle, so much so that it sneaks up on you. What was once casual and easy now has layers of complexity—there's an unspoken tension, a quiet intensity in your interactions.

Pay attention to how they look at you. Are they holding eye contact a little longer? Is their body language different—do they lean in closer when you're talking, or brush their hand against yours more often? These might be unconscious signs that their feelings are shifting too. What used to feel like effortless camaraderie may now have a tinge of nervous energy or anticipation.

The dynamic might also shift emotionally. If you find yourself confiding in each other more than before or having deeper conversations, it could mean that you're both testing the waters of emotional intimacy. Relationships often grow deeper in stages, and the shift from friendship to romance usually starts with emotional vulnerability. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, often emphasizes how emotional attunement is key in relationships, stating, “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call 'sliding door' moments.” These are the moments where emotional connection can deepen or fade depending on how they're handled.

Even a change in the rhythm of your communication can indicate that something more is brewing. Are they texting or calling more frequently? Does the conversation flow naturally, or is there a new level of excitement when you speak? If so, the subtle shift is already happening, and it's worth paying attention to where that energy is leading you both.

Top 5 Signs Your Best Friend May Have a Crush on You

It's easy to get caught up in your own feelings, but what if they feel the same way? The signs might already be there, hiding in plain sight. Here are the top 5 indicators that your best friend might be crushing on you too:

1. They treat you more like a partner than a friend: If they're going out of their way to do thoughtful things for you or prioritizing time with you over others, that could be a sign they see you as more than just a friend.
2. They seem eager to have 'the talk': If they've brought up relationships or asked questions about how you feel about dating in a hypothetical sense, it might be their way of gauging your interest.
3. They look at you differently: Eye contact says a lot. If they're holding eye contact longer or you catch them giving you that look—affectionate and a little intense—it could be a sign of romantic interest.
4. They talk about your future together: Whether it's planning vacations, talking about living situations, or even joking about marriage, if they're picturing you in their future, it's a strong indicator they're thinking romantically.
5. They're not happy with 'just friends': Do they seem frustrated when people refer to you as “just friends”? This might mean they want to be seen as something more.

These signs aren't a guarantee, but they're strong clues. If you're noticing more than a few, it's time to consider that your friend might be feeling the same way about you.

Navigating the Fear of Ruining the Friendship

One of the biggest obstacles to confronting romantic feelings for a best friend is the fear of ruining the friendship. It's a delicate balance—on one hand, you don't want to lose the person you're closest to; on the other, you might never forgive yourself for not exploring what could have been.

This fear is completely natural. After all, the stakes feel high. You're not just risking your own heart, but also the comfortable, supportive relationship you've built over time. But here's the thing: if your friendship is truly solid, it can survive these kinds of conversations. Real friendships are resilient, and often, the honesty required to explore romantic feelings can deepen the connection, whether it leads to romance or not.

Psychotherapist Esther Perel speaks about the importance of relational risk, explaining, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” While it's easy to let fear hold you back, acknowledging the possibility of something more doesn't have to mean the end of your friendship. If handled thoughtfully, it can either lead to a new kind of closeness or simply reaffirm the bond you already share.

That doesn't mean it's easy. You'll need to approach the situation with care and respect for both your feelings and theirs. But avoiding the conversation out of fear might leave you wondering “what if?” for the rest of your life. Navigating that fear, and making a choice to be vulnerable, might just be the bravest thing you can do.

What Happens if They Don't Feel the Same?

This is the question that probably keeps you up at night. What if they don't feel the same way? Rejection is hard enough in any situation, but when it comes from your best friend, it can feel like a double loss. Not only do you risk losing the romantic possibility, but you might also fear losing the friendship altogether. However, rejection doesn't always mean the end of everything.

If they don't return your feelings, it's important to remember that your friendship has value on its own. It's natural to feel disappointed or hurt, but a solid friendship can survive even after romantic feelings are brought into the light. It might take time and some distance to adjust back to the dynamic you had before, but with patience, it's possible to get back on track.

According to relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman, friendships built on a foundation of respect and understanding can withstand moments of discomfort. He suggests that rejection doesn't have to be the end, but instead can be a step toward clarity and reaffirming the importance of the friendship itself.

One of the key factors in maintaining the friendship after a rejection is open communication. You both need to express how you're feeling and set boundaries that allow the relationship to heal. It might be awkward or even painful at first, but many friendships recover and even thrive after navigating this kind of challenge.

Should You Confess Your Feelings?

So, should you actually tell them how you feel? This is a deeply personal decision, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on your unique situation, the strength of your friendship, and your comfort with vulnerability. Confessing your feelings can be a liberating experience, but it's important to be sure you're ready to face the potential outcomes, whether positive or not.

If you've been holding onto these feelings for a while and it's starting to affect the way you interact with your friend, it might be time to come clean. Keeping it bottled up can lead to frustration or even resentment, which could harm the friendship in the long run. A heart-to-heart, where you lay everything out on the table, could provide much-needed clarity for both of you.

However, if you sense that the timing isn't right—maybe they're dealing with something personal, or you're unsure if the friendship can handle the shift—it might be best to wait. Timing can be everything. Consider whether you're prepared for both outcomes: mutual feelings or the possibility of unreciprocated love.

Ultimately, the decision to confess your feelings comes down to how much emotional risk you're willing to take. If you feel the connection between you is worth it, the fear of rejection might be worth overcoming. Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Putting yourself out there is never easy, but it's often the only way to find out what could be waiting on the other side of your fear.

The Importance of Communication

When emotions get tangled between friendship and romance, communication becomes your best ally. Clear, honest communication can prevent misunderstandings, ease the tension, and help you both navigate this complicated terrain. If you're feeling unsure about where things stand, the only way to truly know is to talk about it. Without open dialogue, you're left guessing—and guessing can lead to unnecessary stress or even a breakdown in your friendship.

Think about the level of trust you've already built with your best friend. Chances are, you've had difficult conversations before—whether about life, relationships, or personal struggles. This conversation is no different. Be upfront about how you're feeling, but also be mindful of how they might react. You don't have to pour your heart out immediately, but you can start by testing the waters with smaller, emotionally honest moments.

Psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes the role of communication in fostering strong connections, stating, “Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.” Even a subtle shift in how you talk about your feelings can open up new possibilities. If you want to keep the friendship intact, be prepared for an open, two-way conversation where both of you can express how you feel and what you want moving forward.

By being transparent about your feelings, you not only gain clarity but also give your friend the chance to be honest with you. It's a vulnerable process, but The connection you share could grow even stronger, whether it leads to a relationship or a deeper friendship.

Considering the Risk vs. Reward

Before you make any moves, it's worth weighing the risk versus the reward. This is your best friend, after all, and risking that bond might feel like stepping into dangerous territory. So, ask yourself: what's the best-case scenario? And what's the worst?

The potential reward is obvious—you might enter into a loving, fulfilling relationship with someone who already knows you inside and out. There's a built-in comfort and trust that doesn't come easily in most new romantic relationships. The idea of building something deeper with your best friend can be incredibly appealing, and many successful relationships are born from close friendships.

On the flip side, there's the risk of rejection or even changing the friendship dynamic. If they don't feel the same way, it could lead to awkwardness, emotional distance, or even the end of your friendship as you know it. While some friendships recover after a confession of feelings, not all do. You have to be prepared for the possibility that things might never quite return to how they were.

But here's the thing: taking a risk isn't always a bad thing. In fact, personal growth often comes from facing risks head-on. Esther Perel, the renowned psychotherapist, has often spoken about the need for relational bravery. She says, “The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships. If you don't take risks, you risk even more.” In this case, the reward could be life-changing, and the risk—while intimidating—might be worth it.

Ultimately, you have to decide what matters more to you—preserving the friendship as it is, or opening the door to something that could be much more. The choice isn't easy, but it's one that can lead to deeper self-awareness, no matter the outcome.

When is the Best Time to Share Your Feelings?

Timing is everything when it comes to confessing feelings. Rushing into it can create unnecessary pressure, but waiting too long can leave you in emotional limbo. So when is the right time to tell your best friend that you're developing feelings for them?

First, consider the state of your friendship. Are you both in a place where you can have open and honest conversations? Have there been any recent changes in your interactions that suggest the time might be right? If your connection feels solid and the signs point to mutual interest, that might be your cue to take the plunge.

Also, take into account what's happening in their life. Are they going through a stressful period, dealing with personal challenges, or focused on other priorities? If so, it might not be the best time to add romantic feelings into the mix. You want to make sure they're emotionally available to handle the conversation without feeling overwhelmed.

However, don't wait for the "perfect" moment—it may never come. Look for a time when you're both relaxed and able to have an uninterrupted conversation. Whether it's during a quiet walk, a heart-to-heart over coffee, or a meaningful text exchange, what matters most is that you both feel comfortable and open to talking.

There's no formula for the right timing, but trusting your gut is key. When your feelings start affecting your interactions or when it feels like keeping them a secret is creating distance between you, that's a good sign it's time to speak up. And remember, there's bravery in vulnerability—it shows that you care enough to be real with them.

Handling Rejection Gracefully

No one likes to think about being rejected, but it's a possible outcome that deserves preparation. If your best friend doesn't return your feelings, how you handle that moment can make all the difference in what happens next.

First and foremost, accept their response without trying to change their mind. Rejection can sting, but trying to push them into a different answer or making them feel guilty will only harm the relationship. Respect their feelings just as you hope they respect yours. By accepting their response gracefully, you show maturity and preserve the foundation of trust in your friendship.

Give yourself permission to feel hurt—this is a natural reaction. But try not to let that hurt turn into resentment. Your friend didn't ask for your feelings, and they're entitled to their own emotions. If you need space to process, it's okay to ask for some time apart. Just communicate your need clearly, without leaving them wondering where the friendship stands.

In the long run, how you handle rejection can either strengthen the friendship or cause a rift. Focus on being open about your feelings while also being mindful of theirs. Relationship expert Dr. Harriet Lerner advises, “The most functional way to handle rejection is to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth but a natural part of life.” Rejection doesn't define you—it simply means the romantic connection wasn't meant to be.

Ultimately, handling rejection with grace keeps the door open for a continued friendship. It shows that you value the person, not just the potential romantic relationship, and that can be the foundation for moving forward together.

What to Do if It Works Out?

Let's imagine the best-case scenario: you confess your feelings, and your best friend feels the same way. Congratulations! This is a moment to celebrate, but it's also where things can get tricky. Transitioning from friendship to a romantic relationship comes with its own set of challenges, even when both people are on the same page.

First and foremost, you need to establish new boundaries. What worked for you as friends may not work in a romantic context. For example, maybe you were okay with talking to each other about your dating lives in the past, but that might not be as comfortable now. Setting clear expectations about communication, personal space, and emotional needs will help you navigate this new chapter smoothly.

It's also important to nurture the friendship aspect of your relationship. Just because you're dating now doesn't mean the foundation of your friendship disappears. Keep doing the things that brought you together as friends—whether it's inside jokes, shared hobbies, or just spending time together doing nothing in particular. A strong friendship makes for a strong relationship.

Finally, don't rush things. It's tempting to think that because you're already close, you can skip certain steps, but pacing is important in any relationship. Allow yourselves time to adjust and enjoy the new dynamic without pressure. Taking things one day at a time ensures you can build a relationship that's both exciting and stable.

Maintaining the Friendship No Matter the Outcome

Whether your feelings are reciprocated or not, maintaining the friendship is possible—though it requires effort from both sides. If the romantic feelings don't work out, it doesn't have to mean the end of your bond. With clear communication and emotional honesty, many friendships can recover and even grow stronger after these vulnerable moments.

If you decide to remain friends after a confession of unrequited love, give yourselves some breathing room. It might be helpful to take a step back to reset emotionally before continuing as usual. This doesn't mean cutting them off, but creating some space where both of you can adjust to the new normal.

Rebuilding the friendship might take time, but the key is to approach it with patience and respect for each other's feelings. Let your friend know that their friendship still matters to you, and focus on the qualities that made your connection so meaningful in the first place. Eventually, the initial awkwardness will pass, and you'll find your way back to a comfortable place—whether that's as friends or something more.

Regardless of the outcome, being honest about your feelings is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you value the relationship enough to be vulnerable, and that vulnerability can lead to deeper understanding and respect, no matter which direction the relationship takes.

Recommended Resources

• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman – A guide to understanding how people give and receive love, helpful in both romantic relationships and friendships.
• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown – Explores the power of vulnerability in our relationships and how embracing it can lead to more fulfilling connections.
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – While focused on marriage, this book offers valuable insights into communication and emotional intimacy that apply to any close relationship.