You Are What You Think!

Excerpted from
Toning for Teens: The 20-Minute Workout that Makes You Look Good and Feel Great!
By Joyce L. Vedral, Ph.D.

The first thing I want you to do is to realize that you are beautiful right now. You are the same adorable, miraculous human being that came from your mother's womb. To make sure you understand this, I want you, right now, to do something that may seem foolish. I want you to go ask your mother for a baby picture of you when you were first born, and some other pictures of you up to your first birthday-even your second birthday. Study these pictures. Look at your smiling face, your eyes, your adorable baby body. You are the same wonderful creation now-only you're evolving into an adult. Along the way, you make a tricky transition where self-esteem is threatened if you don't feel you look "up to par." Well, guess what? Even if you lost weight (and you will) and got your body shaped the way you want (and you will), you would still be struggling with these same issues right now. It's the most normal thing in the world. In fact, if you didn't have some doubts about yourself I would worry.

"I am so ashamed of myself. I look like a fat slob. I wish I could look like those other sexy girls. No wonder the guys hardly notice me." Forget about it. That kind of thinking is going to be a thing of the past. The problem is, most young ladies start to magnify the doubts. Then they take those doubts and form a huge club, and every other minute, they use that club to beat themselves over the head. Stop the music. You're not going to do that anymore. The minute you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself, I want you to correct it on the spot.

You used to pass a mirror and think, "I'm so fat. I hate my huge thighs. Look at that pot belly." Now, say, "I'm so excited. I'm going to be in training and I'm going to take those sexy thighs and get them into their ideal shape. When I finish following the stomach workout and the eating plan, I'll see the gorgeous abdominal muscles that are now being hidden by the temporary covering-the baby fat." In other words, you're going to get into the habit of reversing the negative thought process.

But what about when other people put you down? Believe it or not, secure people with high self-esteem have no need to put others down, because they're happy with themselves and the world. In fact, secure people are usually kind and helpful to others who are struggling.

Most often it's the people who secretly think little of themselves who insult others. Why? By putting someone down, for that moment, they feel elevated above their "target," and get a moment of relief from feeling like a loser.

By the way, in case you didn't know it, high self-esteem has little to do with looks and body shape. Many beautiful girls with near-perfect figures have low self-esteem, and many not-so-pretty girls who are overweight have high self-esteem. Self-esteem has more to do with your early-childhood and preadolescent and even current experiences with a variety of people close to you.

If anything, if people put you down you should feel sorry for them. They are suffering on a daily basis more than you could imagine. Okay, I know that's asking too much. But at least don't take it personally. Instead, analyze the person as if he or she were a case study. You have the power here. And on the up side, any time you take control of your life and do something positive to make it better, you raise your own self-esteem. So getting in shape will serve a double purpose: It will make you look more pleasing to your own and others eyes, but in addition-and perhaps more important-it will make you have a stronger sense of self. You will believe in yourself and increase your self-esteem.

It's very important to realize that the only reason to get in shape is for yourself-to please yourself-and not to please anybody else. You don't have to convince me. I believe you are doing it for you! But if you aren't-if it's because somebody is putting you down or pushing you into it-think about what you need, and decide to do it for yourself.

Your Ideal Body

There is an ideal body, but it's different for every person. You are going to create your ideal body. When you do that you won't care about how models on TV look. When your body is tight and toned, and you have definition in all the right places, and your shape is symmetrical, you will look and feel so great and so sexy that you will never-and I promise you this-wish you looked like anybody else! It's an amazing thing how this works but it does, every time. When you get into your ideal shape you will secretly think you look better than any model you see on TV. In fact, you'll think, "Hmm. She should really work out. .

What Will Happen Once You Get In Shape

Another thing to remember is that you're not getting into shape because you think that it will solve all your problems. I want you to realize that losing weight will improve your life in many ways-the biggest being that you will no longer have to think about the way your body looks. You will finally be able to focus your attention on the real issues in life: doing well in school, thinking about your goals, moving toward achieving them, and building positive relationships with family, friends, and the opposite sex.

You will feel and look better. Other good things will happen. Your outlook on life will improve and you'll be physically stronger and able to participate in more sports and fun activities. But there will still be people who reject you, you'll still have problems with your parents, and you'll still go through every other struggle of living in the real world. But you won't be struggling with your body image anymore.

Getting in shape is the beginning of a journey toward discovering your true self.

How to Think Of Your Fitness and Eating Plan

The most exciting thing about this workout and eating plan is that you're "in training." Athletes do it all the time: soccer players, swimmers, boxers, skaters, gymnasts, football players, dancers-they all discipline themselves and work out and eat a certain way because they are in training. You're going to be eating and working out like an athlete! You're constructing a muscular, defined, tight, toned, strong, agile body.

You'll devise a plan where you work out a certain time every day. This discipline will make you feel happy, not deprived. It will empower you. And that power, that training effect, will carry over to other areas of your life. You'll have more discipline when it comes to getting your schoolwork done, keeping promises, and so on.

It's all about using discipline with a goal in mind, and this kind of discipline can make you feel good about yourself and your life. Once you adopt the "I'm in training" attitude, instead of feeling depressed and punished when you find yourself looking at those foods that made you fat in the first place, you'll think: "No. I can't have that. I'm in training." And you'll smile and think of yourself as special and disciplined. When you feel lazy and think about skipping your workout, you'll remember, "I have to do it. I'm in training." And you'll bite the bullet and pick up the weights and start doing it.