Dealing with Heartbreak When Your Boyfriend Pursues Other Options After Planning a Summer Together

The summertime is a special season for so many reasons – the sun on your skin and fresh fruity drinks in hand – it's no wonder why it has a certain allure that adds extra excitement to any relationship. When you're in a relationship and making plans to spend a summer with your significant other, everything seems perfect and magical. Yet, sometimes these plans are dashed in an instant when your boyfriend decides he wants to pursue other options. After making assumptions about the summer that was to come, it can be incredibly disheartening when you realize those expectations may not come true. This can leave you feeling betrayed, abandoned, and downright heartbroken.

Perhaps you were envisioning all the beach days, dinners out on the town and leisurely lounging in the sunshine, but instead your partner pursued something entirely different - leaving you in the dust so to speak. There's no doubt that these kinds of experiences can leave one feeling exceptionally vulnerable. Receiving such a blow can cause even the strongest person to question what they did wrong or if they simply weren't enough in some way.

When facing this kind of situation, it's important to slow down and process the feelings that come up without making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Instead of moving too quickly and dwelling on thoughts that deplete your soul, try to recognize what comes for you in terms of emotion. Acknowledgment of your various emotional reactions is essential for providing yourself with the care and attention you require to begin the grieving process – yes, grieving. Understand that although nothing has technically happened yet between him and the alternative option, it doesn't mean you don't naturally feel hurt by his decision.

Allowing yourself to feel your emotions provides you with an opportunity to reflect on the experiences internally, validating them and recognizing how hard it can be to accept the reality that things may not fix themselves. Working through this process allows you to let go and move forward in a healthy way. That being said, it is also worth considering the impact and magnitude of your decisions, which could lead to irreparable consequences in the long run.

The thought of remaining in a relationship without trusting them or allowing yourself to be vulnerable with them may seem daunting. Many may choose to stay in a relationship if they're scared of being alone without another partner to fill the void. Although, deciding to stay with someone who continues to make decisions that betray your trust isn't really living, it's barely surviving day to day. In this situation, it's key to reach clarity when it comes to boundaries; teaching your partner that the kind of behavior that has been exhibited is unacceptable and won't be tolerated.

Having clear communication about what is ok and what isn't is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Trust and love are both crucial and it's very hard to find a balance once one or both have been compromised. In order to get to this place, one must go through the challenging emotions of heartbreak and disappointment first. Without sitting with those feelings and taking time to understand and heal them, it's difficult to create meaningful, lasting relationships.

Given your circumstances, it's normal to be experiencing some fear and insecurity. Explore your vulnerabilities and self-doubts, examine what's holding you back and why it may be leaving you feeling empty. Making space for yourself to deal with the anxiety and sadness will ultimately lead you to a place of bravery and determination. Once you've taken some much-needed time for self-care, it might be a good idea to talk with the person in your life who led you to feel this way. After having a conversation about the issue at hand, you may find that your paths are able to move in the same direction.

The realization of not getting to spend the summer with your loved one can be quite disheartening. Not only can it be difficult to swallow the disappointment in the moment, it can also be easy to feel overwhelmed with heartache months later. In the face of disappointment like this it is important to take a step back and connect with yourself, taking time to tap into your inner strength and courage while acknowledging your authentic feelings. Being brave and true to yourself is the only way to empower yourself, leading you back to your path with a positive perspective. Symbolic of a new journey to begin, painting on a fresh canvas of life, no matter how far away the summer sun may be.