Mending a Shattered Heart: How To Heal After Your Love Jilted You For Your Best Friend

Heartbreak. It's one of the most devastating emotional experiences someone can go through. This particular brand of soul-crushing despair is provoked when a love that we count on suddenly shifts and shifts suddenly – usually only to be replaced by a formidable rival: our best friend. When we are devastated by the actions and decisions of someone that in some way we felt was responsible for that love, the resultant grief can be overwhelming. However, even though what has happened may feel like the worst thing that could ever happen to us, and the pain and anguish may feel impossible to escape, the truth is that being jilted by your love for your best friend is not a life sentence. There is hope for healing and for rising again.

If you're struggling with this kind of separation, it's important to remember two simple but vital ideas. Firstly, grieving is essential. Sadness, anger, and hurt feelings need to be acknowledged and processed, if you hope to reach a higher plain of understanding and eventually, healing. The second message is that you are never alone. There is always someone who can walk alongside you and guide you through the darkness.

The five stages of grief, as determined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, are an all-encompassing, but useful tool in navigating the depths of despair. Denial (“I can't believe they chose them over me”), anger ("How could they do this to me?") bargaining ("Maybe I could have done something to make them stay?") depression ("I'll never be happy again") and acceptance ("Maybe this was meant to be", are all phases of a successful healing process. It's important to be honest with yourself, and to guide your emotions as you proceed through each stage, rather than letting them guide you.

Once you're able to understand and accept what has transpired, you can begin to take action towards healing and moving forward. Focusing on progress instead of stagnation will help you to slowly build a brighter future. Write down your thoughts, or talk to someone that you trust. Test out new activities and hone your skills, processes designed to appeal to your interests and aptitudes. Exercise, eat healthy and rest. Take time to relax and meditate. Taking a few moments each day to set intentions and focus on your mental and physical well-being will help you to move through the grieving period and into the beginnings of cure.

It's also important to practice self-affirmation and know that you are valuable, even if another person has denied you their companionship. Self-care is essential for complete healing. Whether it be journaling, crocheting, going for a walk in nature, anything that helps you to reconnect with yourself and your limitless potential is a good investment. Consider qualities that you admire about yourself, and list them. Memorize them. Hang them up, get creative. Each day, take a moment to say these affirmations aloud and manifest a brighter tomorrow.

Also, if things become especially tumultuous, don't be afraid to seek professional assistance from a qualified helper. Undersianing the behaviors and triggers that have contributed to past relationships can help distance the the negativity ofthe experience, and allow you the a opportunity to learn, adapt, heal and bring that brand of reflective understanding into your futur journeying.

The healing curve can be bumpy. You may find yourself fluctuating between different stages, and feeling as if it's taking forever to make progress. Remember: there is no set timeline, and the end point is reached through individual effort and time. Grieving is a process that should be taken seriously, and you have the right to grieve in whatever form that you choose.

Take joy in the small moments, and appreciate how far you have come. Before long, you will find that the pieces of your heart are back together, whole and strong despite the difficulties you've had to undergo in the past. A broken heart is not the end, but instead — just the beginning of your journey to true happiness.