7 Strong Steps to Finally Move On From a Relationship

Key Takeaways:

• Cut ties with your ex
• Accept the reality of the breakup
• Focus on self-love and healing
• Avoid dwelling on ‘what ifs'
• Seek support from others

What does moving on mean in a relationship?

Moving on doesn't mean forgetting everything about the relationship. It's about recognizing that the chapter has ended and allowing yourself to start a new one. You're not erasing memories or devaluing the connection you had. Instead, you're choosing to heal, grow, and live in a space that no longer revolves around your past relationship.

In psychology, this process can be called "detachment," where we untangle ourselves emotionally from a person we once deeply connected with. Author and clinical psychologist Dr. Guy Winch says, "Heartbreak is a form of grief, and healing is about accepting that loss and finding meaning beyond it." This is crucial because, without acknowledgment, we stay stuck in emotional limbo—never fully letting go.

Acceptance and acknowledgment in a relationship

Let's face it: the hardest part of moving on is accepting that the relationship is over. It's like there's a battle between your heart and your brain, where the heart just doesn't want to believe it's over. However, acceptance is the first step in letting go. We can't start to heal unless we've fully acknowledged that the person is no longer a part of our lives in the same way they used to be.

Psychologically, acceptance is tied to emotional regulation. You have to come to terms with the fact that the relationship didn't work out for a reason. This stage often brings up feelings of denial, guilt, and even self-blame. But it's essential to understand that holding onto these emotions can keep you anchored in the past. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's model of the five stages of grief lists acceptance as the final stage of dealing with any form of loss, including relationships. You don't have to like the breakup, but you do need to accept it.

How do you accept and move on from a relationship?

So, you've reached that crucial point where you realize it's time to move forward, but how do you actually start? This part isn't easy. Moving on is a complex emotional process that requires action. You don't just wake up one morning and feel fine. It's a step-by-step journey that starts with acceptance and moves towards regaining control of your emotional world.

There are practical steps you can take to help yourself heal and regain your sense of self. And while everyone's path looks different, there are a few universal strategies that make it easier to find peace and closure. Remember, healing isn't linear, and it's okay if some days feel worse than others. What matters is the effort you put into moving forward.

1. Cut off the connection from your ex

The first step in moving on is to cut off the emotional (and sometimes physical) connection with your ex. This can be one of the toughest things to do because, let's face it, breaking habits is hard, especially when they involve someone you were so emotionally invested in. But staying in touch with your ex only serves to reopen the wounds. Whether it's late-night texts, lurking on their social media, or keeping mementos from your time together, these things only serve as emotional anchors to the past.

Severing these ties is liberating. It's like setting yourself free from the heavy chains of attachment that hold you back from moving forward. “One of the most important things to remember is that you can't heal in the same environment that hurt you,” as psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb wisely points out. So, block their number if you need to, unfollow them on Instagram, and distance yourself from the triggers that pull you back emotionally.

This might sound extreme, but it's essential. In fact, the longer you stay connected, the more difficult it becomes to detach. Removing these connections gives you the space to start focusing on you—on healing and rebuilding your own sense of worth and identity.

2. Get rid of everything that makes you miss your ex

Let's be honest: hanging onto things that remind you of your ex isn't going to help you heal. That hoodie they left behind? The pictures of you two together? They are emotional triggers, constantly pulling you back to a time you need to leave behind. It's not just about physical objects, though. These items can hold deep emotional value, and parting with them can feel like letting go of the relationship all over again.

However, by removing these reminders, you are creating a space that is yours and yours alone—free from the memories that keep you anchored in the past. Whether it's their playlist on your phone or a framed picture on your nightstand, these things only serve to make the healing process harder. As clinical psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon explains, “Clinging to physical reminders is often a way of holding onto the fantasy of reconciliation, making it impossible to fully move on.”

So, clear out that emotional clutter. It might feel painful at first, but it's a necessary step in the journey towards recovery. And no, you don't have to throw everything in the trash. Some people find it helpful to box things up and store them away as a symbol of putting the past behind them.

3. It's okay to cry

Crying is often seen as a weakness, but the reality is that it's one of the healthiest emotional outlets we have. After a breakup, your emotions are all over the place—anger, sadness, regret, loneliness. Sometimes, the only way to process these feelings is to let them flow. It's okay to cry, and it's even more okay to cry often.

In fact, studies show that crying can be incredibly therapeutic. It releases stress hormones and can even improve your mood in the long run. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom, “Crying is a natural way to release pent-up emotions and cleanse your soul. It allows your body and mind to reset.”

Don't try to stifle those tears just to appear strong. Embracing your emotions is part of the healing process. So if you feel the need to cry, go ahead—whether it's in the shower, in your car, or with a trusted friend. Tears aren't a sign of weakness; they're a sign that you're allowing yourself to feel, which is the first step to healing.

4. Learn forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult yet essential parts of moving on from a relationship. It's not just about forgiving your ex; it's also about forgiving yourself. Relationships end for countless reasons—sometimes due to betrayal, misunderstandings, or simply growing apart. Whatever the case, holding onto resentment will only keep you trapped in bitterness.

Forgiving your ex doesn't mean condoning their actions or inviting them back into your life. It's about freeing yourself from the emotional baggage that comes with anger or hurt. As Lewis B. Smedes once said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” When you hold onto bitterness, you're the one who suffers. By choosing to forgive, you release that burden and give yourself the permission to move forward.

Start with small steps—acknowledge the hurt, feel it, and then let it go. It's a process, and some days you might feel more forgiving than others. But over time, the weight of resentment lifts, allowing you to breathe a little easier and live with a lighter heart.

5. Make peace with the void

After a breakup, there's often a deep sense of emptiness, a void where your relationship used to be. That feeling of loneliness can be overwhelming, and it's easy to fill it with distractions—be it a rebound relationship, binge-watching shows, or diving into work. But none of these will truly heal you.

Making peace with the void means learning to sit with that emptiness and accepting it as part of your healing journey. It's about understanding that the void isn't something to fear, but something to embrace. This space, uncomfortable as it may be, offers you a unique opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

Psychologically, this ties back to existential concepts of self and purpose. After a breakup, we often struggle to redefine ourselves outside of the relationship. But by sitting with the emptiness, we allow ourselves to rediscover who we are as individuals. That void? It's where you start to rebuild your identity, your passions, and your future.

It won't happen overnight, and that's okay. Sit with the discomfort, learn from it, and eventually, you'll find that the void starts to fill with new experiences, new friendships, and a renewed sense of self-worth.

6. Speak with loved ones and family

When you're going through the pain of a breakup, isolation can feel tempting. It's easy to want to curl up and deal with the hurt on your own, but that's often when we need support the most. Reaching out to family and close friends can provide you with much-needed comfort and perspective.

These are the people who know you best—those who love you unconditionally. Talking to them about your feelings, venting, or even just being in their company can provide a sense of grounding. They can remind you of your worth, offer advice from an outsider's point of view, and, most importantly, they'll be there to help you pick up the pieces.

Leaning on others isn't a sign of weakness. In fact, studies on social support have shown that strong personal connections significantly improve emotional well-being during tough times. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, just hearing, “I'm here for you” from someone you trust can be a lifeline.

No ‘what ifs' – Avoid regrets

The endless cycle of “what if” questions can be one of the most damaging mental loops we fall into after a relationship ends. “What if I had said something different?” “What if we had tried harder?” These thoughts might feel normal at first, but they serve no purpose other than keeping you stuck in the past, questioning every move.

Psychologically, this is called rumination—when you continuously replay and analyze situations, often leading to regret. Rumination doesn't solve anything; instead, it deepens your feelings of sadness and helplessness. “What ifs” are mental traps, keeping you focused on a version of the past that no longer exists.

Instead of dwelling on what could have been, shift your focus to the present. What can you learn from the breakup? How can you grow from this experience? Regret will only hinder your progress. Instead, focus on taking steps forward and leaving the past behind where it belongs.

Know that you're still in love (but it's over)

One of the most confusing and painful aspects of moving on is realizing that you might still be in love with your ex, even though the relationship has ended. And that's okay. Love doesn't just disappear overnight. It's perfectly natural to still have feelings for someone who played such a significant role in your life. But here's the hard truth: just because you're still in love, doesn't mean the relationship should continue.

It's important to recognize that holding onto love doesn't mean you're holding onto the relationship itself. You can love someone and still know deep down that staying together is no longer an option. As relationship expert Esther Perel puts it, “Love is not always enough to make a relationship work.” You can love someone and still choose to walk away for the sake of your mental and emotional well-being.

So, acknowledge the love. It's real. But also recognize that sometimes love isn't the solution to every problem, and part of healing is understanding that you can love someone from a distance—without them being part of your life anymore.

Acceptance: The final step of moving on

Acceptance is the ultimate goal of moving on, but it's often the most elusive. It's the moment when you finally understand and internalize that the relationship is over—and not just on a surface level, but deep down in your core. It doesn't mean forgetting or even erasing what happened, but rather coming to terms with it.

Acceptance can feel like a huge relief. You stop fighting against reality, and you allow yourself to let go of the struggle. In psychological terms, this aligns with what's called “radical acceptance”—the idea that true healing can only begin when we stop resisting the truth of a situation. Dr. Marsha Linehan, a pioneer in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, says, “Radical acceptance is when you stop fighting reality, stop throwing tantrums because reality is not the way you want it, and let go of bitterness.”

When you reach acceptance, you finally free yourself from the past. You'll no longer feel the need to revisit the breakup over and over again. The pain might not vanish entirely, but it won't control your thoughts and actions anymore. Acceptance gives you peace, and with peace comes the freedom to move forward and rebuild your life.

Get in touch with old friends

After a breakup, it's easy to feel isolated. Sometimes relationships consume so much of our time and energy that we lose touch with the people who were once close to us. Now is the time to reconnect with those old friends. Reach out to the ones you may have unintentionally drifted away from while you were focused on your relationship.

These are the people who knew you before the relationship and can remind you of who you are outside of it. Old friends can help ground you, offer support, and maybe even share a good laugh about the times you've forgotten. Rebuilding these connections can be a healing process in itself.

Sometimes, rekindling old friendships brings a sense of nostalgia that reminds us of a time when we were happy without the ex. These bonds, often free from the complexity of romantic entanglement, offer a kind of unconditional support and joy. Don't hesitate to make that call, send that text, or plan that coffee meetup. Your friends will likely welcome you back with open arms, and their presence can be a comforting reminder that life exists beyond the breakup.

Make new friends and connections

While reconnecting with old friends is essential, it's also important to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and make new friends. New friendships and social connections help you create fresh experiences that aren't tied to memories of your ex. They give you a sense of renewal and remind you that the world is full of potential for new, fulfilling relationships.

This is especially important if you're feeling stuck in a routine or in the same emotional space that reminds you of the breakup. Meeting new people doesn't have to be daunting. You can start small—attend local events, join clubs or social groups, or even explore online communities that match your interests. The goal isn't necessarily to make lifelong friends immediately, but to re-engage with the world around you and open yourself up to new possibilities.

As researcher Brené Brown puts it, “Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” Forming new connections is a way to not only heal but to grow emotionally. These new friendships help redefine your social world and gradually shift your focus away from the past towards the present and future.

Start loving yourself again

After a breakup, self-love often feels like the last thing on your mind. It's easy to fall into a cycle of self-criticism, questioning your worth and whether you were “enough.” But here's the truth: no one else can define your worth. Now is the time to start rebuilding the relationship you have with yourself. This is perhaps one of the most important parts of the healing journey.

Start by practicing self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend. Would you tell them they aren't worthy of love? Of course not. So, don't let that negative self-talk take root in your mind. Find small ways to show yourself kindness each day, whether it's through a little self-care or simply allowing yourself to rest when needed.

As author Louise Hay once said, “You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Rediscover what you love about yourself, and you'll find that the healing becomes much more natural. When you nurture the love you have for yourself, you become more resilient and better equipped to face future challenges.

Do more of what makes you happy

When was the last time you did something purely for the joy of it? After a breakup, it's crucial to reconnect with the activities and passions that bring you happiness. Whether it's rediscovering an old hobby, trying something new, or simply taking time for yourself, doing what you love will help you feel more like yourself again.

Happiness isn't a destination; it's a state of mind that comes from embracing what brings you joy in everyday life. These activities—whether they're creative, physical, or social—can help you create positive experiences that shift your focus away from the past. They remind you that there is life outside of the relationship and that your personal joy is not dependent on another person.

As psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains in his research on “flow,” when we engage deeply in an activity we love, we enter a state where time flies, and our worries fade away. This state of flow is not just a way to escape from the emotional pain of a breakup but also a way to rediscover what truly makes you happy and feel alive. So go ahead, pick up that paintbrush, join that yoga class, or take that solo trip. Every moment of joy you create brings you closer to healing.

Join a support group

Going through a breakup can feel isolating, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. Many others are going through similar experiences, and joining a support group can provide a sense of community and understanding. In a support group, you'll find people who understand your pain, and it can be comforting to share your story and hear others share theirs.

These groups offer a safe space to express your feelings without judgment. Sometimes just knowing that others are navigating the same emotional challenges can bring relief. Whether the group is in-person or virtual, this shared experience can be an invaluable tool in your healing process. You don't have to carry the burden alone.

Support groups also help validate your emotions. Hearing others talk about their struggles can make you realize that the feelings you're experiencing—be it anger, sadness, or confusion—are entirely normal. It's a way to gain perspective and insight, all while finding mutual support in a community of people who genuinely understand what you're going through.

Consider professional help if needed

Sometimes the emotional weight of a breakup can feel too heavy to bear alone. If you find that you're struggling to cope, it might be time to seek professional help. Therapy can be an incredibly powerful resource, offering you a safe and structured space to explore your feelings and receive guidance from a trained professional.

There's no shame in reaching out to a therapist or counselor during this time. In fact, therapy can provide you with tools and strategies to process your emotions in a healthy way. According to the American Psychological Association, therapy helps individuals better understand their emotional responses and can aid in making sense of complicated feelings.

Whether you're dealing with deep sadness, anxiety, or even anger, a therapist can help you untangle those emotions and guide you toward a path of healing. Professional help doesn't have to be a last resort—it's often the smartest step you can take when you're feeling overwhelmed by loss and heartbreak.

Recommended Resources

• Emotional Freedom by Dr. Judith Orloff – A guide to transforming emotional pain into resilience and joy.
• Rising Strong by Brené Brown – A powerful book about recovering from life's setbacks, including breakups.
• Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott – A step-by-step recovery guide to help you move on and rebuild your life after a breakup.